Not to challenge you, but what is the problem of dynamic equivalence when it better conveys the meaning? Not that it necessilary does in this case, but in general. More importantly, did the Church err in the 60’s by not using any of the traditional handmissal versions? It seems people lost interest in those handmissal versions by 1967, IMO.
That’s just it…I don’t think it did. It may have been an attempt to crystalize the meaning, I don’t challenge the translator’s motives, but I think it condensed with loss of both meaning and effect. To be fair, they had less than half the time to do the translation and no experience of years with anyone else’s attempted translation concerning the catechetical effect of the translation. And yes, time will tell if this translation has an effect that is any better. Theory says it will, but the proof of the pudding will be in the eating.
Here’s one instance of what I think is a changed thought:
“In communion with those whose memory we venerate, especially the glorious ever-Virgin Mary, Mother of our God and Lord, Jesus Christ, and blessed Joseph, Spouse of the same Virgin…” came out as
“In union with the whole Church, we honor Mary, the ever-virgin mother of Jesus Christ our Lord and God. We honor Joseph, her husband…”
In the first, we are in communion with those whom we venerate, while in the second we are in communion with the whole Church
in the act of honoring those saints. IMHO, it came out as a different thought, not a different way of expressing the same thought.
In the people’s parts, we see repetition for effect dropped…why? That technique is used in English poetry all of the time. There are adjectives dropped…why? For instance:
In the pentitential rite, we have “sinned” instead of “greatly sinned”, and “through my own fault” instead of “through my fault, through my fault, through my most grievous fault”
I also don’t get the same sense from “we worship you, we give you thanks, we praise you for your glory” as I do from “We praise you, we bless you, we adore you, we glorify you, we give you thanks for your great glory”.
The attempt was to crystalize, that is a fair defense of the old translation, but IMHO the effect was diluted, instead.
Honestly, if you compare catechisms for children from the earlier times to the later, I think you see the same thing. The intent was to crystalize, to use clearer language, but the effect was too often dilute what was being said. The texts were easier to learn from, but when all was said and done, you hadn’t learned as much. There was real content lost in the condensation.
If that wasn’t true, if this was only a matter of two merely different ways of saying the same thing, I think this whole effort would have been pointless. As it is, I think there is a payoff that justifies the increased level of the language. IMHO, there is greater intensity of both thought and effect that justify using the original repetition and all of those ten-dollar words, and the difference between the old and new in terms of the both the ritual and the catechetical effect of the liturgy is substantial.
Since this change is not going to be cheap, let’s hope the changes prove in use to be all that is hoped they would be in theory!