New "tradition"

[DonaNobis_Pacem]

Thanks for the answers, everyone! I do think it was an okay thing at the beginning, but now it makes me feel uncomfortable and, yes, it does feel contrived. I always end up sitting in the same pew if I go to the Saturday Vigil Mass on weekends, thus I have to sit with my grandparents, who are always in the same exact pew with the same exact people around them. It does get tough to focus on prayer, however, when I have an elderly woman behind me constantly running her mouth and talking like she’s at a coffee klatch than inside a church.

However, there was just a new change made this weekend. Instead of greeting each other before Mass with a hello and a handshake, now we are to turn to each other and make the Sign of the Cross on our neighbors’ foreheads. What’s the purpose of that? I understand wanting to make the parish community more welcoming, but I’m not sure what to make of this new form of greeting.

 

[Deo_Gratias42]

I don’t know about anyone else, but I never slip into my pew without acknowledging the folks around me with a nod, a smile or a whispered ‘good morning’. Nothing loud, just an acknowledgement that I’m not totally alone in the building. I don’t need a formal rite to ‘greet my neighbour’.

The only one who needs to be greeted when sliding into the pew in Jesus in the Tabernacle. When I first walk into the nave I look for Christ and greet him with a genuflect. I could really not care less about greeting those around me at that time. That’s what coffee and donuts is for.

 

[superamazingman]

I have a question to ask. My purpose is not to spark a debate or bait anyone, but it was announced at Masses last weekend that we would be starting a new “tradition”; that is, we would be greeting those around us immediately before Mass begins. The explanation given was that it is to help us celebrate the Mass in a true spirit of charity, or something similar to those words.

It’s a bit troubling to me, as I don’t know whether it’s permitted or not. Is this new “tradition” something that can be done, or is it considered an “abuse”? I don’t even know if the Church has had anything to say on it happening elsewhere. If someone can answer my question, it’d be much appreciated.

The hippies from the 70s just called. They want their idea back.

 

[DonaNobis_Pacem]

The hippies from the 70s just called. They want their idea back.

It’s not that I’m saying my priests are bad, or my home parish in general. It is becoming a little unnerving that the idea they had–greeting others around us before the beginning of Mass–is not really working since we haven’t had a lot of new parishioners join, and everyone else who already attends Mass here always sits in their “favorite” pew, so they’re not introducing themselves to anyone new. I just feel that signing our neighbors on the forehead doesn’t really add to the feeling of community. Like I said, it just feels contrived, yanno (pardon that, it’s a “Joisey” thing)?

 

[ProVobis]

The hippies from the 70s just called. They want their idea back.

 

[gh4]

My church does this and I truly dislike it. This was their custom before I moved here, so it’s been over 7 years that they’ve been doing this.

 

[DonaNobis_Pacem]

Okay, from what I experienced today, it was NOT a new greeting. In fact, it was a “blessing” that we were to give to our neighbors in the pews just before the end of the homily; since today is the Feast of the Most Holy Trinity, we were to “bless” one another by signing our neighbors’ foreheads and saying, “I bless you in the Name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit.” I had a woman seated in the same pew do so to me, but I was a bit taken aback and thus didn’t return it; perhaps she felt offended that I did not do the same for her, but I did shake her hand at the Sign of Peace. Even so, wasn’t the fact that we sign ourselves with the same Trinitarian formula at the beginning and the end of the Mass enough, as we do at every Mass?

I had asked Brother JR about this, and he said it is a Franciscan tradition, though it is typically used by members within the Order, in their own houses. It is a sign of fraternal charity between them. It’s become uncomfortable, at least for me, because–as I said–it feels contrived and forced, rather than being genuinely welcoming.

 

[Deo_Gratias42]

Okay, from what I experienced today, it was NOT a new greeting. In fact, it was a “blessing” that we were to give to our neighbors in the pews just before the end of the homily; since today is the Feast of the Most Holy Trinity, we were to “bless” one another by signing our neighbors’ foreheads and saying, “I bless you in the Name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit.” I had a woman seated in the same pew do so to me, but I was a bit taken aback and thus didn’t return it; perhaps she felt offended that I did not do the same for her, but I did shake her hand at the Sign of Peace. Even so, wasn’t the fact that we sign ourselves with the same Trinitarian formula at the beginning and the end of the Mass enough, as we do at every Mass?

I had asked Brother JR about this, and he said it is a Franciscan tradition, though it is typically used by members within the Order, in their own houses. It is a sign of fraternal charity between them. It’s become uncomfortable, at least for me, because–as I said–it feels contrived and forced, rather than being genuinely welcoming.

The laity CAN’T bless the laity or the very vast majority of other people.

 

[thewanderer]

The laity CAN’T bless the laity or the very vast majority of other people.

Also… now this sounds as though it is during Mass rather than before.

I agree that trying to foster a greater sense of community by having people greet each other before or after Mass can be a very good thing, so long as it is not turned into a ritual, but is able to keep a genuine feel to it, and so long as there is still peace and quiet available for those who wish to pray silently before Mass in preperation. But this blessing during Mass sounds highly suspect.

 

[superamazingman]

It’s not that I’m saying my priests are bad, or my home parish in general. It is becoming a little unnerving that the idea they had–greeting others around us before the beginning of Mass–is not really working since we haven’t had a lot of new parishioners join, and everyone else who already attends Mass here always sits in their “favorite” pew, so they’re not introducing themselves to anyone new. I just feel that signing our neighbors on the forehead doesn’t really add to the feeling of community. Like I said, it just feels contrived, yanno (pardon that, it’s a “Joisey” thing)?

No, the priests aren’t bad, but the idea of their’s sure is.

 

[DonaNobis_Pacem]

The laity CAN’T bless the laity or the very vast majority of other people.

Oops! Forgive me, I made a mistake. I was going back to the greeting one another before Mass when I mentioned the info I got from Brother JR, NOT the “blessing” that the priest had people do before the end of today’s homily. Greeting one another before Mass is what Franciscans practice, but usually in their own Order houses. It isn’t typically common among the laity of a parish run by Franciscans, but I think maybe they were trying to bring the congregation into the spirit of this tradition.

Yes, that is correct, though. We do not have the ability to bless one another as lay persons.

 

[JGMendes4049]

You could always ask…and if you get no answer, ask the Bishop’s office—of course, in a very patient, charitable, non–critical way.

Since this is a Franciscan parish, I would recommend contacting the superior of the Franciscans who work in the parish first. The bishop sort of has his hands tied when it comes to religious.

 

[TrueLight]

I don’t know about anyone else, but I never slip into my pew without acknowledging the folks around me with a nod, a smile or a whispered ‘good morning’. Nothing loud, just an acknowledgement that I’m not totally alone in the building. I don’t need a formal rite to ‘greet my neighbour’.

Yeah. Just an acknowledgement there is a fellow human there.

Some people act as if they can’t even give you a quick smile as you slip in next to them.

False piety.

Sorry, I recently experienced something.

 

[wasserfall]

Yeah. Just an acknowledgement there is a fellow human there.

Some people act as if they can’t even give you a quick smile as you slip in next to them.

Recently I went to mass while out of town, and while I was kneeling in the pew praying before mass, the priest came up and interrupted me so he could shake my hand.

I really don’t understand that. It’s not right.

Fortunately nothing like that ever happens at my home parish.

 

[MissBorgia]

Occasionally on these forums we hear someone say how they did not feel welcomed at Mass, due to some lack of a personal touch. I think your pastor is trying to address this.

we would do that here for a while, but thankfully it has gone by the wayside. I do not go to mass to be social.

 

[ProVobis]

Recently I went to mass while out of town, and while I was kneeling in the pew praying before mass, the priest came up and interrupted me so he could shake my hand.

I really don’t understand that. It’s not right.

I agree. Something’s not right when praying like that in church actually draws attention.

 

[HelenRose]

I have a question to ask. My purpose is not to spark a debate or bait anyone, but it was announced at Masses last weekend that we would be starting a new “tradition”; that is, we would be greeting those around us immediately before Mass begins. The explanation given was that it is to help us celebrate the Mass in a true spirit of charity, or something similar to those words.

It’s a bit troubling to me, as I don’t know whether it’s permitted or not. Is this new “tradition” something that can be done, or is it considered an “abuse”? I don’t even know if the Church has had anything to say on it happening elsewhere. If someone can answer my question, it’d be much appreciated.

Actually I think this practice is a means to gradually move away from the over the top greetings after the Our Father and before the Lamb of God. Almost like getting all the greetings, hand shaking and hand waving out of the Mass.

I think that it is a smart move.

 

[pnewton]

Yeah. Just an acknowledgement there is a fellow human there.

Some people act as if they can’t even give you a quick smile as you slip in next to them.

Recently I went to mass while out of town, and while I was kneeling in the pew praying before mass, the priest came up and interrupted me so he could shake my hand.

To the OP, I would advise, as in all things, to simply accept the diversity of natures that we all have. Some people come to Mass with a need for human contact, or they live their whole lives that way. If you can give that to them, then do so and by that minister to them. Others come with a need for a solitary contact with the divine. Let such people in peace and do your part to keep a quiet reverence. But primarily, accept the diversity of others, putting their needs first, and never judge them for their differences.

 

[superamazingman]

Actually I think this practice is a means to gradually move away from the over the top greetings after the Our Father and before the Lamb of God. Almost like getting all the greetings, hand shaking and hand waving out of the Mass.

I think that it is a smart move.

Why not leave the greetings for the profane places such as the narthex, and leave the sacred space of the church for prayer? Until things calm down, priests can exercise the right to omit the sign of peace altogether.

 

[pnewton]

Why not leave the greetings for the profane places such as the narthex,

Why? Is greeting each other more profane than sharing a meal? Yet it is in the breaking of the bread that we know Jesus. That which is sanctified by God, even the mudane, is not profane. Mass is prayer, but it is also community.

But to give one answer to your question, not all Churches have a suitable narthex for anything more that a place for bathrooms. Also, there is no reason why whatever people have to say to each other could not be done with respect to those who want to pray in private before Mass.