Newly Converted/Blasphemous Thoughts

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Calypso_123

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Hi,
I joined the Church at Easter nearly two months ago now and several days ago I went to Confession for the first time. I was feeling very positive about how well again and moved by how I was forgiven, but the next day around midday, these awful, evil blasphemous thoughts suddenly appeared in my head and told me evil satanic things and that essentially my whole conversion was for nothing and that I was pledging allegiance to the Devil. I don’t think I was willingly thinking about them and I certainly didn’t agree with any of them, and it took hours of Hail Mary’s, saying the Rosary, St Benedict’s intercessory prayer, St Michael the Archangel’s prayer and begging Jesus for help before these thoughts finally left me. Now it’s the day after and I’m still having echoes of these thoughts but I push them away as soon as they twinge on my consciousness. I’m still shaken by the whole incident, and feel very guilty as I feel unclean and that they must have come from me and that I’ve committed a mortal sin. The only thing similar that I’ve experienced was in the weeks leading up to my baptism where I would suddenly have a sick feeling in my stomach and a voice telling me I was making a mistake, and during my baptism a voice told me to run away from the priest. Otherwise, nothing like this has ever happened to me before. I am going back to confession this week to ask my confessor what I should do, but I would also like someone’s advice? Have I committed a mortal sin? And am I going crazy?
 
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See your doctor for a start.Many people hear voices. Understanding what gives rise to them is often possible with medical help.
 
Calypso, what you have experienced and are experiencing is normal. It is simply the devil and his demons tormenting you to try to discourage you from drawing closer to God. It is a good sign. The more of these attacks you experience the better as it is a sign that the devil is not happy. Persevere. Keep close to the Sacraments, Eucharist, confession and the rosary. Simply ignore the devil. Resist him and he will flee.
 
Many people have experienced what you are experiencing when they draw closer to God. It makes the devil really angry and he will try many tricks to knock you off course. Do not be afraid. You are under God’s protection and the devil can do nothing.
 
No, no, no, you’re NOT going crazy. What you described is not uncommon. Battling foul thoughts is simply part of the battle. Let it go. On to the next fight.
 
Thank you for your replies. I’ve honestly never experienced anything like it and feel a guilty, like I’ve committed a mortal sin. I’m also feeling sick, could that be related, it came on suddenly around the same time as the blasphemous thoughts?
 
Also, these thoughts have stopped. Does that mean I gave in or failed?
 
This sounds like intrusive thoughts. Intrusive thoughts are not sinful. You rejected them. Please ask a priest for further direction.
 
Even those of us who have been Catholic for a while can experience this. I don’t think the Devil likes it much when I have a very prayerful and spiritual time. He will try to knock that down. I generally say the Leonine Prayers and maybe throw some holy water. Your confessor should be able to give you some good suggestions for how to deal with this when it happens occasionally.
 
I have a sibling who complained of something similar. Courage. Evil never wants us to be saved. No need for him to be that aggressive maybe with his prey. But making such giant steps as yours must get him mad. Christ says he is the "father of all lies ". But his lies can sound convincing. Don’t enter his game of debating with him. It’s enough to know he is the author of all lies as Christ has said. When these thoughts come, reject it as you do, don’t believe him. Also consider more time to outside or in prayers but less time in isolation
 
I don’t think you sinned. The devil is the father of lies! He is very powerful. Don’t Try to fight. Ask the Virgin Mary and St. Michael to tie him up and keep him away. Yes he. Can make you sick.
 
I agree with this. Though you may be somewhat new in the Catholic faith, if you find no trouble with it, I’d advice you to look for a consecration to Jesus. There is St Louis Marie de Montfort’s which is common around my area and I think you can get at any nearby Catholic bookshops, online etc. Mary, she crushes the head of the serpent and she knows much. Your going to speak to a priest too,that will help a lot I believe. I’ll keep you in my prayers. Courage and do not fear, the Lord is in control
 
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