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crazzeto
Guest
Read, learn and fully understand NFP. My wife and I failed to do so completely before marriage, and we ended up struggling greatly with NFP as she ended up feeling lied to about some of the “borchure materials”.
NFP is wonderful, if both people in a marriage approch it in faith, with an open heart and an eye to grow together it can be the best blessing ever. If either one of you enters it not completely understanding it, it can be the worst nightmare you have ever known (believe me).
In Christ,
NFP is wonderful, if both people in a marriage approch it in faith, with an open heart and an eye to grow together it can be the best blessing ever. If either one of you enters it not completely understanding it, it can be the worst nightmare you have ever known (believe me).
In Christ,
E
emmar
Guest
Mary Gail,
I did notice the word indefinitely. However at the bottom of his statement there were the words, “Sometime in the future” So to me in the future means you have grave reasons and you wait until these are resolved to try and have a baby. Perhaps some would not find his statement offensive, however, I think they are being a little high-handed here.
I did notice the word indefinitely. However at the bottom of his statement there were the words, “Sometime in the future” So to me in the future means you have grave reasons and you wait until these are resolved to try and have a baby. Perhaps some would not find his statement offensive, however, I think they are being a little high-handed here.
Mary_Gail_36
New member
he had the word “might”.
I read this to mean “well we aren’t sure if we will have kids or not, we might try at some point, or we might not.”
Part of the promises we make is to accept children lovingly. We are supposed to answer “Yes” not “maybe” or “depends”
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Rence
Guest
I still don’t understand why no other Catholics that I know even know what NFP is --never heard of it, and when they have, they say it’s the rhythm method – considering marriage prep classes are required before each and every couple can get married in the Church. I mean, I was born and raised in Chicago, which has a pretty high percentage of Catholics. I have never met anyone in real life who knows what it even is. One would think it would be mentioned in marriage prep classes at the very least.
In my years in Catholic high school, college and university even, I hadn’t heard of it at all until nursing school years later, when it was listed as a form of contraception, and was given a pretty low efficacy rating. It was given a short paragraph and that’s it.
I just envision a totally different world when I read Usige’s posts regarding NFP classes and reporting to the priest any answers that might indicate ‘unreadiness’ to get married, and noting comments on class participant records for use in marriage prep classes, etc.
In my years in Catholic high school, college and university even, I hadn’t heard of it at all until nursing school years later, when it was listed as a form of contraception, and was given a pretty low efficacy rating. It was given a short paragraph and that’s it.
I just envision a totally different world when I read Usige’s posts regarding NFP classes and reporting to the priest any answers that might indicate ‘unreadiness’ to get married, and noting comments on class participant records for use in marriage prep classes, etc.
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Rita77
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SummerSmiles
Guest
Sadly, I think this is true of the majority of Catholics today. I was raised in a Catholic household, in a Catholic school, went to a Catholic university, and didn’t know much about NFP at all. I honestly did think that it was the rhythm method. It wasn’t mentioned one time during our marriage prep course. All they said on the subject of kids was to make sure that we were both in agreement in terms of parenting strategies and to make sure that we’d talked about having kids. There definitely should be more education on the subject.
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Katie966
Guest
This was my experience too. Not once did either of my parents ever mention anything about it to me. I think I might have learned about it briefly in high school or college, but really it was through seeking it out on my own that I learned about it.
In our marriage prep course, a couple did come in for about an hour, during which about 5-10 minutes was devoted to a particular method of NFP. But their references were very vague, so anyone not familiar with what NFP is had no idea what they were talking about. I wish they had been more straightforward…it was almost like they were afraid to scare anyone off, so they used veiled references and never once even said contraception was wrong.
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Rita77
Guest
“How did you get into a convesation bout NFP and contraception with someone you just met? How did that conversation start? How did it end?”
both quotes are from you. you seemed so baffled by my conversation with a fellow Catholic yet you have the same one with fellow Catholics. they don’t know because they didn’t listen or were not told. its eaiser and more effective to BC not many want to trust God with there fertility. I quoted it pp only 2% trust God with there fertility (nfp or nothing). that means probably giving up those yearly anniversary beach vacations, new car, bar night out, etc. NFP is a cross to bare not many want to carry a cross (suffer) for God.
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Rita77
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sadly yes who wants to go into detail (hear the giggles) from young engaged couples when you go into detail about mucus… yeah you need to touch it… now you need to discribe what you feel and see. yeah sign me up. I think most couples that use nfp because its there only moral option. most young couples don’t understand the inmoral effects of bc and think it has the same affect but eaiser, cleaner, more affective than nfp. you can’t compare the two but everyone does.
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Rita77
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nfp promoters and teachers need our help. the nfp evangelization gets negative accacks from both sides. they eaither complain about the effectiveness or percentages are to high or its to hard or why didn’t anyone tell me about it, its gross etc. we do need to teach how and why it is different than bc and why the church is against bc. even if nfp hasn’t worked well for you we still need to positivity and honestly promote it. what if the 98% of Catholics using contraception are in great danger? what if what we said could help?
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Marinella
Guest
Sympto-thermal is the most effective in terms of having cross-checking signs of fertility.
The reality of Catholic married life is that if you use NFP, you will be abstaining during the time of your cycle when you likely will have interest. If you don’t abstain, you might conceive. If you conceive your pregnancy and nursing hormones will make it so that you don’t have much interest. Or you will be too tired from an ecological breastfeeding baby waking up 3 times a night to nurse while homeschooling the rest of your children to have much interest. So for the rest of your child bearing years you will rarely be able to enjoy the marital act and it will be at best a dutiful act of charity towards your husband. Then you will enter menopause where your interest will plummet even more and yet you will continue to be dutiful out of love. Sure you want to get married?
Just keeping it real…
The primary purpose of marriage is for the begetting and raising of children. Everything else is just Hollywood
The reality of Catholic married life is that if you use NFP, you will be abstaining during the time of your cycle when you likely will have interest. If you don’t abstain, you might conceive. If you conceive your pregnancy and nursing hormones will make it so that you don’t have much interest. Or you will be too tired from an ecological breastfeeding baby waking up 3 times a night to nurse while homeschooling the rest of your children to have much interest. So for the rest of your child bearing years you will rarely be able to enjoy the marital act and it will be at best a dutiful act of charity towards your husband. Then you will enter menopause where your interest will plummet even more and yet you will continue to be dutiful out of love. Sure you want to get married?
Just keeping it real…The primary purpose of marriage is for the begetting and raising of children. Everything else is just Hollywood
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Rence
Guest
Yeah…because my conversations were driven by a nursing perspective and even before I knew what NFP was, I knew contraceptives were bad for women. My conversations usually started with people telling me how awful they felt and that they were test driving various contraceptive methods — not meeting a total stranger with children at the zoo while taking my nephews to the zoo and asking about NFP while the giraffes were breeding…
I disagree. I think if more women not only knew about fertility awareness, and actually had any faith in it, they’d switch in a minute. It’s true that many women don’t suffer any side effects, but many actually do and even more develop risk factors (either on their own, or after ABC usage). But the truth is, NFP has a terrible reputation and women are more willing to deal with side effects rather than get pregnant. It’s a terrible crime against women that they’re not educated about NFP because at least they’d have the information, whether they use it or not.
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Rence
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And that’s coming from someone who knows about NFP and fertility awareness. So why is it so baffling that people don’t like it, don’t trust it and don’t want to use it? People not restricted by the rules of the Church will just use ABCs until they can’t, or continue to risk their health by taking it anyway. Half of the people here on CAF who use NFP said it was a detriment and they only used it because the Church told them to.The reality of Catholic married life is that if you use NFP, you will be abstaining during the time of your cycle when you likely will have interest. If you don’t abstain, you might conceive. If you conceive your pregnancy and nursing hormones will make it so that you don’t have much interest. Or you will be too tired from an ecological breastfeeding baby waking up 3 times a night to nurse while homeschooling the rest of your children to have much interest. So for the rest of your child bearing years you will rarely be able to enjoy the marital act and it will be at best a dutiful act of charity towards your husband. Then you will enter menopause where your interest will plummet even more and yet you will continue to be dutiful out of love. Sure you want to get married?
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Castello
Guest
I’m baffled the other way. When I hear Catholics say they were not taught that ABC was sinful. I was raised by very conservative evangelicals, preachers for generations, I did not even KNOW any Catholic. It was common knowledge that Catholics did not believe in birth control or sterilization. Like you know that Mormons don’t drink coffee and Amish don’t wear flashy clothes, it was just known by everyone.
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Rence
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Yeah, I think most Catholics know that the Church teaches against artificial contraception, that it’s against the rules of the Church, but it’s obvious they either don’t know the correct teaching or don’t care. They probably just disregard it. The need to avoid pregnancy speaks louder to them than a far-removed authority, and the fact is, there are no Inquistors and there are no 'marriage police" anymore. No one is going to go knocking on their door and ask why it’s been two years since their last one, etc.
One would think they’d know the correct teaching by the time they get into pre-canna classes though. But I wish the Church would make NFP information more available. But then I wish more doctors and nurses would too. My thought is that at least they have the information, regardles of whether they use it or not.
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Rita77
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Yeah…because my conversations were driven by a nursing perspective and even before I knew what NFP was, I knew contraceptives were bad for women. My conversations usually started with people telling me how awful they felt and that they were test driving various contraceptive methods — not meeting a total stranger with children at the zoo while taking my nephews to the zoo and asking about NFP while the giraffes were breeding…
it didn’t happen at the zoo. women do talk about there methods of bc etc have been for decades. women get together for coffee and the kids are in the back yard or school. “so what do you use it must not work very well (four kids).” that story about the zoo you made up was gross. thanks for judging me. we are on the same side ya know.
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Usige
Guest
Emmar, I am not judging them, but only doing as I am asked in relating our experiences from talking to the students. As part of the interview for NFP they are also asked if they have health issues, infertility, etc. so that any special needs can be taking into account. The intake form also asks if the couple is using artificial birth control and if they are trying to conceive or postponing temporarily or permanently. As both a marriage prep couple and NFP instructor we have been asked to note if there is any doubt by the diocese. If you are doing marriage prep and list “using ABC and postpone permanently” that seems to raise doubts about faithful adherence to the Church. It is up to the priest or deacon to have further conversations around those doubts. In the end it is up to the Church to decide if those concerns are founded.
We are not talking about a one off conversation, but 7 (or more) individual NFP sessions, or 3 or 4 sessions during marriage prep. Unfortunately many of the couples we meet with are poorly catechized with regard to marriage so we are asked to help ensure they are fully aware of what they are asking of the Church. If after 5 sessions of clients forgetting their charts (or scribbling them in when we are walking in), making zero effort to learn (“why do I care about learning these stupid rules”), and constantly asking when we will tell the parish they are done it becomes very obvious which people are trying to get their ticket stamped. We have tried to be accommodating to couples that start NFP 2 months before their wedding and provide a letter stating that the couple has promised to finish all their sessions only to never hear from them again after their wedding.
If doing as our bishop has specifically asked is being judgmental, then my apologies if you are offended. In the end I will side with my bishop and do what I can to protect the churches teaching on marriage.
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Castello
Guest
Cannot understand, why is it when anyone discusses rules and laws and requirements they are suddenly “judging” and that is evil. The Church determines who may enter the sacrament of marriage, there are rules. The sacraments are valuable, priceless, they must be guarded.
Of course, some people will be judged to be unable to enter a valid marriage.
Why is “judge” a bad word?
Without right judgement, we have anarchy.
Of course, some people will be judged to be unable to enter a valid marriage.
Why is “judge” a bad word?
Without right judgement, we have anarchy.
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Rence
Guest
Rence;8501292:
Well, sorry you found my zoo story gross. As a farmer, I didn’t think it was gross at all. Everything around me is constantly breeding. But why you think I was judging you is beyond me
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