A
alice24
Guest
Dear OP,
I greatly admire your strength.
I was in an abusive relationship myself for five years, starting with 18, but not married. But I think I can understand at least a bit of how you must feel now.
Don’t expect to feel free right now. I felt free after I signed my first own contact for a tiny flat after the break up, and a bit more after I payed the money back he messed up with from the time we shared a contract for an apartment to avoid further fear of people wanting money from me.
Sure, debt from a former apartment isn’t the same as filling for divorce, but I think a parallel here is that both is/was a point of insecurity and bad paperwork- emotions included- that naturally keeps one from feeling free, as you aren’t fully free yet. But you will. It took me a year and then I sat in a coffee house and drinking a cup while realising that everything is over, I was save, and life starts again with all the opportunities you have as a young women. This day will come for you, too.
You having a good support system and family is great. However, there are days you might want to walk a street without people who know your story. If you can afford it, maybe book a weekend trip (in a few weeks -when you are more stable alone) or simply go to mass in a different parish where you can be simply you in anonymity.
I greatly admire your strength.
I was in an abusive relationship myself for five years, starting with 18, but not married. But I think I can understand at least a bit of how you must feel now.
Don’t expect to feel free right now. I felt free after I signed my first own contact for a tiny flat after the break up, and a bit more after I payed the money back he messed up with from the time we shared a contract for an apartment to avoid further fear of people wanting money from me.
Sure, debt from a former apartment isn’t the same as filling for divorce, but I think a parallel here is that both is/was a point of insecurity and bad paperwork- emotions included- that naturally keeps one from feeling free, as you aren’t fully free yet. But you will. It took me a year and then I sat in a coffee house and drinking a cup while realising that everything is over, I was save, and life starts again with all the opportunities you have as a young women. This day will come for you, too.
You having a good support system and family is great. However, there are days you might want to walk a street without people who know your story. If you can afford it, maybe book a weekend trip (in a few weeks -when you are more stable alone) or simply go to mass in a different parish where you can be simply you in anonymity.
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