N
NewSeeker
Guest
Hi all –
This will likely be my final update until after Easter. To all those who have followed my journey and have kept me in their prayers – Thank You!! It has been a difficult, but rewarding journey and now, with only a few days left until my baptism at the Easter Vigil, it is so clear to me how God has had his hand in this from the very beginning. God spoke to me through promptings, proddings, pushings, and pullings, sometimes quietly and sometimes insistently. I had a lot of emotional baggage to wade through, but over the years God has shown me that he is patient and longsuffering, yet determined to have me. I denied those promptings for so long, but I have been led to see that my reluctance to place my trust in God and in his Son was the result of my own main weakness: fear of rejection, fear of alienating loved ones, fear of being alone and isolated – particularly from family, whose approval I have always sought. God has been there all along patiently waiting and leading me to full communion with the Church. God has been there and so have friends like you. The more I’ve learned, the clearer it is that only Catholicism has the doctrinal, historical, and theological evidence to support the claim that it truly is Christ’s own church - that he established. It is still difficult to do this without my family, and as my baptism approaches events have arranged themselves that make it even more difficult. I finally called my parents to tell them my plans. They were not pleased, though not angry, which is a blessing. My mom left the phone crying for a day, but she’s feeling better about things now. Please continue to pray for me and my family.
I’ll briefly fill you in on the rest of what’s happening; it’s become very surreal and ironic if you think about it. As I just said, I’ve struggled all my life with caving to family pressure due a desire to avoid alienating loves ones and being rejected by the people most important to me. My decision to become a Catholic has been hard on my wife, her family, and my family. It’s also been hard on me given what I believe about Mormonism and the fact that my wife and boys aren’t joining me and that one day I would have to face my son’s desire to be baptized as a Mormon. As you may know, Mormon dads baptize their own children with the extended family in attendance. For obvious reasons, that’s something I cannot and will not do. The final weeks of my RCIA formation process have included (and will include) key family events that confirm everyone in their Mormon faith, precisely at the time that I am becoming Catholic. I can only laugh at the irony, but this is most definitely the biggest test of my faith that I have ever faced. A few weeks ago my niece was baptized by her dad into the Mormon faith. At the same time, I was informed that a wedding has been scheduled for the same day as the Easter Vigil. A Mormon in-law’s ex-Catholic Mormon mom is marrying an ex-Catholic man recently converted to Mormonism by my wife’s brother. I will be the only family member not in attendance since I will be at the parish preparing for my Catholic baptism. And now, prompted by my niece’s own baptism, my wife has accelerated my son’s own Mormon baptism and my son wants my nephew to do it for him. Ironically, my nephew had already planned to visit us here in Austin this week to visit the UT campus, so my wife and her mom have scheduled my son’s baptism to coincide with his visit – and they’ve scheduled my son’s baptism for Easter Sunday. The Mormon missionaries have visited my house several times over the past week to interview my son and get him ready for his big day. So here I am – an ex-Mormon missionary about to become a Catholic with Mormon missionaries in my house working with my wife to prepare my son for a Mormon baptism, which will take place the day after my own baptism, which takes place on the same day as a big family wedding that I won’t be able to attend because I’ll be away at the parish preparing to become a Catholic. LOL! It’s so surreal and amazing, really. But it’s also exactly what I needed spiritually – I am willing to alienate my entire family to follow Christ. I pray that does not happen, but I must follow where God is leading. I must enter into full communion with him and join myself to Christ’s Body. I long to, at last, receive Christ in the Eucharist. But it is difficult. I wish my wife and sons were joining me. I am supported by my RCIA friends and by my CA friends on this forum. I am also supported by God. I attended my first Palm Sunday mass and was so moved by our participation in the Gospel reading. We spoke the words that the angry masses shouted at Christ’s trial: “Crucify him!” When we knelt to pray for a moment after hearing in the reading that Jesus had died, I was so moved I nearly wept. Last night I found out that I’m one of the twelve parishioners chosen to have our feet washed on Holy Thursday. My heart leapt into my throat when I heard that. I felt like Peter in a way: “You’re going to wash my feet?” Who am I to merit that kind of service? I’m just a lowly catechumen. I know that Christ set an example: the master must serve the lowliest of people, but it’s still humbling to say the least. It’s these kinds of experiences that are keeping me going, as well as the knowledge that in just a few days I will finally be able to receive Christ.
It’s been a wonderful journey and it’s only just beginning. Thanks for all of your prayers and support. I’ll update you again after I’ve crossed the Tiber!!!
NewSeeker
This will likely be my final update until after Easter. To all those who have followed my journey and have kept me in their prayers – Thank You!! It has been a difficult, but rewarding journey and now, with only a few days left until my baptism at the Easter Vigil, it is so clear to me how God has had his hand in this from the very beginning. God spoke to me through promptings, proddings, pushings, and pullings, sometimes quietly and sometimes insistently. I had a lot of emotional baggage to wade through, but over the years God has shown me that he is patient and longsuffering, yet determined to have me. I denied those promptings for so long, but I have been led to see that my reluctance to place my trust in God and in his Son was the result of my own main weakness: fear of rejection, fear of alienating loved ones, fear of being alone and isolated – particularly from family, whose approval I have always sought. God has been there all along patiently waiting and leading me to full communion with the Church. God has been there and so have friends like you. The more I’ve learned, the clearer it is that only Catholicism has the doctrinal, historical, and theological evidence to support the claim that it truly is Christ’s own church - that he established. It is still difficult to do this without my family, and as my baptism approaches events have arranged themselves that make it even more difficult. I finally called my parents to tell them my plans. They were not pleased, though not angry, which is a blessing. My mom left the phone crying for a day, but she’s feeling better about things now. Please continue to pray for me and my family.
I’ll briefly fill you in on the rest of what’s happening; it’s become very surreal and ironic if you think about it. As I just said, I’ve struggled all my life with caving to family pressure due a desire to avoid alienating loves ones and being rejected by the people most important to me. My decision to become a Catholic has been hard on my wife, her family, and my family. It’s also been hard on me given what I believe about Mormonism and the fact that my wife and boys aren’t joining me and that one day I would have to face my son’s desire to be baptized as a Mormon. As you may know, Mormon dads baptize their own children with the extended family in attendance. For obvious reasons, that’s something I cannot and will not do. The final weeks of my RCIA formation process have included (and will include) key family events that confirm everyone in their Mormon faith, precisely at the time that I am becoming Catholic. I can only laugh at the irony, but this is most definitely the biggest test of my faith that I have ever faced. A few weeks ago my niece was baptized by her dad into the Mormon faith. At the same time, I was informed that a wedding has been scheduled for the same day as the Easter Vigil. A Mormon in-law’s ex-Catholic Mormon mom is marrying an ex-Catholic man recently converted to Mormonism by my wife’s brother. I will be the only family member not in attendance since I will be at the parish preparing for my Catholic baptism. And now, prompted by my niece’s own baptism, my wife has accelerated my son’s own Mormon baptism and my son wants my nephew to do it for him. Ironically, my nephew had already planned to visit us here in Austin this week to visit the UT campus, so my wife and her mom have scheduled my son’s baptism to coincide with his visit – and they’ve scheduled my son’s baptism for Easter Sunday. The Mormon missionaries have visited my house several times over the past week to interview my son and get him ready for his big day. So here I am – an ex-Mormon missionary about to become a Catholic with Mormon missionaries in my house working with my wife to prepare my son for a Mormon baptism, which will take place the day after my own baptism, which takes place on the same day as a big family wedding that I won’t be able to attend because I’ll be away at the parish preparing to become a Catholic. LOL! It’s so surreal and amazing, really. But it’s also exactly what I needed spiritually – I am willing to alienate my entire family to follow Christ. I pray that does not happen, but I must follow where God is leading. I must enter into full communion with him and join myself to Christ’s Body. I long to, at last, receive Christ in the Eucharist. But it is difficult. I wish my wife and sons were joining me. I am supported by my RCIA friends and by my CA friends on this forum. I am also supported by God. I attended my first Palm Sunday mass and was so moved by our participation in the Gospel reading. We spoke the words that the angry masses shouted at Christ’s trial: “Crucify him!” When we knelt to pray for a moment after hearing in the reading that Jesus had died, I was so moved I nearly wept. Last night I found out that I’m one of the twelve parishioners chosen to have our feet washed on Holy Thursday. My heart leapt into my throat when I heard that. I felt like Peter in a way: “You’re going to wash my feet?” Who am I to merit that kind of service? I’m just a lowly catechumen. I know that Christ set an example: the master must serve the lowliest of people, but it’s still humbling to say the least. It’s these kinds of experiences that are keeping me going, as well as the knowledge that in just a few days I will finally be able to receive Christ.
It’s been a wonderful journey and it’s only just beginning. Thanks for all of your prayers and support. I’ll update you again after I’ve crossed the Tiber!!!
NewSeeker