Next meeting

[cominghomeCC]

I am waiting to hear back from Fr. Michael, for our next meeting to further proceed with the radical sanation. We need to reschedule as we have a few too many things. I need to remember to bring a calendar with me.

Now there is something that we need to discuss, something I really really don’t want to discuss. This is something that only the people who were around involved then…type thing would know.

It is a really unexpected question, and some how irrelevant IMO. I did ask another priest from another diocese, and they don’t have it on their forms, so he didn’t have any idea how it was relevant and asked me to keep him posted(lol)

However, I don’t want to have the radical sanation approved with false information on the forms, because I wouldn’t ever know if it were truly valid, I want it valid with no doubts, or I could never return to communion if I had doubts.

It is extremely difficult for me to talk about with out breaking down, even thinking about it is hard. I can make it through the most basic of facts but I simply state the very basic facts, it doesn’t present what really happened. It’s amazing how quickly life falls apart when you put your trust in the wrong person.

I really don’t want anyone else to know this. How can I give full disclosure, yet preserve privacy?

I thought I was ready for all of this. I don’t open up to people easily, nor do I trust readily. This would be a massive leap of faith that it won’t get repeated… I don’t know what to do.

This has been eating at me all weekend. I hope Fr. Michael is able to see me a little early tomorrow, rather than having to wait a week to address this.

 

[Joe_5859]

Would you be able to ask him about the relevance of that particular question and indicate your discomfort with answering it? That would lead him to either agree with you that the question isn’t necessary or else explain to you why the question needs to be asked.

I can only imagine how difficult it is for you. I would just like to reassure you that anything you tell the priest will not be broadcast to the world. Priests take people’s privacy very seriously.

I know that it would be easy for me to say “Just tell him and be done with it”, but much, much harder to actually do. I will pray for you that you will have peace about the whole thing.

 

[puzzleannie]

I am
I really don’t want anyone else to know this. How can I give full disclosure, yet preserve privacy?
.

the only one who needs to know this background, and he must know it to advise you properly is the priest. All marriage records are confidential, at the highest level of privacy. No one in the parish will have any general knowledge of anything you don’t chose to reveal, but don’t handicap the priest by being less than candid. Make sure he has enough background as well to understand why this is so painful for you so he can handle this in the most pastoral manner.

 

[cominghomeCC]

Would you be able to ask him about the relevance of that particular question and indicate your discomfort with answering it? That would lead him to either agree with you that the question isn’t necessary or else explain to you why the question needs to be asked.

I can only imagine how difficult it is for you. I would just like to reassure you that anything you tell the priest will not be broadcast to the world. Priests take people’s privacy very seriously.

I know that it would be easy for me to say “Just tell him and be done with it”, but much, much harder to actually do. I will pray for you that you will have peace about the whole thing.

Joe, thank you for that. Unfortunately, the question was asked and a knee jerk response, a blurted “no”. It was panic and stupid. stupid. stupid. Leave it to me to dig myself a hole. Now I have to go back to him, and explain myself. There really is no other option, I can’t leave it as it is.

I’ve been trying so hard, and then we hit this, and in a second…

 

[Kennywood]

Hello,

I’m sure I have no idea what your question is, but I can be yet another voice to tell you that you can trust a priest to be the model of confidentiality and discretion, at all times. It goes with the job.

It is hard enough to talk about certain subjects, in and of themselves. This doesn’t need to be another worry. Really.

I hope it works out well for you, and that when you get your schedules together, you sit down and have a good conversation.

 

[Joe_5859]

Joe, thank you for that. Unfortunately, the question was asked and a knee jerk response, a blurted “no”. It was panic and stupid. stupid. stupid. Leave it to me to dig myself a hole. Now I have to go back to him, and explain myself. There really is no other option, I can’t leave it as it is.

I’ve been trying so hard, and then we hit this, and in a second…

Ah. I understand how that can happen. I know that I have the tendency towards giving knee jerk “saving face” type responses when I am asked questions that catch me off guard and/or are uncomfortable for me to answer.

I’m sure the priest will understand that. You do need to go back and explain. I will pray for the Spirit to guide that conversation.

 

[cominghomeCC]

Ah. I understand how that can happen. I know that I have the tendency towards giving knee jerk “saving face” type responses when I am asked questions that catch me off guard and/or are uncomfortable for me to answer.

I’m sure the priest will understand that. You do need to go back and explain. I will pray for the Spirit to guide that conversation.

Thanks Joe!

I managed to get to the appointment tonight. I hesitated initially. We moved on to the next form. Before we started I had to be sworn in! He asked a few questions, since we’d gone over some of them, so we moved quickly. It came to the difficult one… and I simply answered! He didn’t even blink an eye. The next one I wasn’t really given time to answer and he moved on. So afterward, when he asked me to read it over, I asked HIM about it. I gave him the basic facts, he asked what he needed to, and I answered truthfully.

We ended up going back to the hard question… there were further questions, and it was upsetting to go through, but Fr. Michael was very gentle about it all. I don’t think he had to drag it from me, I answered fairly easily, despite some of the tears.

And I did apologize for not being forthcoming the last appointment, he told me not to worry, some things are simply hard to do and he understands that.

Afterward, he was asking me if there was anything else he could help me with, outside the scope of the paperwork we are working on. I’m not really sure what to say to that. He offered some counsel, made me cry a little more…( :blush:I’m such wimp sometimes) He gave some suggestions.

Anyway, I survived, and he knows most of the details of that period of my life. No one else does… that is a little scary, and little bit of a relief. Shockingly enough, I don’t feel judged, i didn’t even feel embarrassment. I guess I’ll be spending more time there than anticipated. Perhaps it is what is needed.

We’re nearly done with the paperwork, so he’ll be finishing it up in the new year, then it’s a wait and see game with the radical sanation.

 

[Kennywood]

Yay you! Yay Fr. Michael!

It is nice to hear the positive outcome, and this made me smile. Thank you for sharing your good news!

Enjoy what remains in Advent and have a Merry Christmas. It is a gift, to know you are right where you’re supposed to be.

 

[Joe_5859]

That’s great! See, you survived!

I will keep you in my prayers.

 

[cominghomeCC]

Thanks for the support, encouragement and prayers! I’m sure it helped!

Hopefully, I continue to find the strength to follow through on this journey. It’s hasn’t been an easy thing for me to do.

Going back to the catholic Church has been eye opening. It’s not what I grew up in, it’s so much more than I remember. I suppose it is the eyes of ‘maturity’ seeing it.

I truly wasn’t gone because I wanted to, but more so because i thought I wasn’t wanted. how sad is that?

Perhaps I simply found the right parish for my family and me. Perhaps it was a timing issue, I had to be ready.

How funny is it that in a large congregation, over 3000, that the Pastor, Associate pastor, nun and 3 seminarians all know me by name? How is that even possible? I’m a wall flower, I don’t go out of my way to be noticed or be memorable. In fact, I do the opposite. Yet, here, it isn’t working. I’m not sure how I feel about it, or why it is that way.

Is it odd that I smile when I see the parish number calling?

 

[Joe_5859]

Thanks for the support, encouragement and prayers! I’m sure it helped!

Hopefully, I continue to find the strength to follow through on this journey. It’s hasn’t been an easy thing for me to do.

Going back to the catholic Church has been eye opening. It’s not what I grew up in, it’s so much more than I remember. I suppose it is the eyes of ‘maturity’ seeing it.

I truly wasn’t gone because I wanted to, but more so because i thought I wasn’t wanted. how sad is that?

Perhaps I simply found the right parish for my family and me. Perhaps it was a timing issue, I had to be ready.

How funny is it that in a large congregation, over 3000, that the Pastor, Associate pastor, nun and 3 seminarians all know me by name? How is that even possible? I’m a wall flower, I don’t go out of my way to be noticed or be memorable. In fact, I do the opposite. Yet, here, it isn’t working. I’m not sure how I feel about it, or why it is that way.

Is it odd that I smile when I see the parish number calling?

Praise God! Sadly, there are many people out there who have felt that same unwantedness. Being the Church full of sinners that we are, even some of our priests and nuns can say or do things that lead a person to feel that way.

But of course, Jesus wants all of us. I am glad you have found your way back home to a great welcoming parish.