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Em_in_FL
Guest
No, people promote NFP as a method for avoiding conception (when necessary) that is in line with the church’s teachings.
It’s not the end all and be all of contraception… that’s not NFP at all.
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It’s not the end all and be all of contraception… that’s not NFP at all.
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PennitentMan
Guest
Thanks, that’s the honest truth.
This is the truth on NFP that needs to get out there.
K
kage_ar
Guest
I’ll take 99% effective and in line with Church teaching over 100% effective and putting me in danger of mortal sin any day of the week.
Z
Zelie_Louis
Guest
Let’s please stay on topic here. If you wish to debate the efficacy of NFP, start a new thread.
D
dove_of_peace
Guest
I have to say I was scratching my head a bit at your post…but it would be like desesitizing myself off of condom use so I ran it past my husband. He says only he will be in charge of the pins & condoms (translation: he won’t make the holes in them and be double-y protected
).I will start NFP charting and go from there. Perhaps with a lot of prayer I will be able to do as the Church teaches.
Thank you all for your comments and wise counsel.
H
Huiou_Theou
Guest
You’re welcome, and all is as I would expect.
I’ll add my chaplet of divine mercy to your prayers tonight, and hope.
I’ll add my chaplet of divine mercy to your prayers tonight, and hope.
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stadre
Guest
This sounds like the best option. It would be better if you take a class and even best if your husband can attend. Like most of us, he has probably been raised to believe that NFP simply doesn’t work. If he developes that understanding, it may improve things.
Perhaps, as you begin to understand more about your body, you can move away from using condoms during fertile times. This might be a good starting place. After all, condoms only fail when the woman is fertile (and in fact, as a teacher, I would expect a pregnancy to occur if this is a regular practice). As you both grow more comfortable with your fertility, hopefully you will be able to abandon the condoms altogether.
I realize that I didn’t acknowledge the immorality of the condoms. I am specifically thinking that if your husband insists on them, it may help him growing in the understanding.
The last thing I will suggest is that you look into Creighton/FertilityCare, because of your history. The doctors who work with the method and NaproTechnology can help you. If you go to www.popepaulvi.com, you can order a book called Women Healed. Some things the women talk about are depression and PPD (which, BTW, the doctors can treat–96% of the women treated feel 100% better by the next day).
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Greg72
Guest
What a great article!
It amazes me how many Catholics don’t see the avoidance of pregnancy as a bad thing, just the use of artificial contraception.
No matter how beautiful and loving a relationship is, it isn’t half as beautiful as the children that could result from it.
Our Lord makes it perfectly clear that marriage is solely for this world. The children produced from the union, however, will live forever. God actually allows the couple to be co-creators - through an act of will, they can contribute to eternal creation. Or they can plot to limit that creation. The Church is right in restricting the use of NFP to the most serious of situations. It’s a shame that that part is skipped over so often.
In this selfish, greedy, culture of death there’s nothing like seeing a family going to church and filling a whole pew
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Ray_Scheel
Guest
Just to point out, the guide is just “serious” reasons, not “the most serious”. That those criteria are inappropriately skipped over by some is not a justification for others to overstate. It is better to be consistent and “on target” to get the larger public to pay attention.
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Greg72
Guest
I didn’t mean to eggagerate. I simply meant to distinguish between the situation of the OP, who was actually suffering from anxiety / depression and someone who feels stressed / overwhelmed.
You’re right, though - I shouldn’t make the criteria sound more strict than they are, especially since this is such a hard teaching to accept in the first place.
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Ray_Scheel
Guest
Indeed it is, which is why I thought it was important to make the clarification, as I’ve seen it intentionally overstated around here almost as often as attempts to understate its importance.
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ElizabethAnne
Guest
Pennitent Man and Greg 72,
You both recommend the Crisis Magazine article, but frankly I find it insulting. I agree with the author on several points – I don’t think NFP should be sold on its effectiveness alone because it is more than that, I believe that our culture encourages people to limit their family size for frivilous reasons.
But in the article H. W. Crocker III doesn’t simply state his beliefs. Instead, he writes in a way that insults wives, husbands and marriage. He jokes that communication is not important in marriage (at least I hope he’s joking) and then presents an awful stereotype of lazy husbands who refer to their children as “brats.” He then writes, “Communication is, of course, the first step to divorce.” Again, I hope he is making some weird joke that I don’t understand.
I know that giving without counting is what marriage is about. It’s what following Jesus is about, for that matter. That doesn’t mean every Catholic should have a child every two years. Simply put, NFP is information. At any given time it can be used to conceive or to postpone pregnancy. And, of course, it’s not 100% reliable.
You both recommend the Crisis Magazine article, but frankly I find it insulting. I agree with the author on several points – I don’t think NFP should be sold on its effectiveness alone because it is more than that, I believe that our culture encourages people to limit their family size for frivilous reasons.
But in the article H. W. Crocker III doesn’t simply state his beliefs. Instead, he writes in a way that insults wives, husbands and marriage. He jokes that communication is not important in marriage (at least I hope he’s joking) and then presents an awful stereotype of lazy husbands who refer to their children as “brats.” He then writes, “Communication is, of course, the first step to divorce.” Again, I hope he is making some weird joke that I don’t understand.
I know that giving without counting is what marriage is about. It’s what following Jesus is about, for that matter. That doesn’t mean every Catholic should have a child every two years. Simply put, NFP is information. At any given time it can be used to conceive or to postpone pregnancy. And, of course, it’s not 100% reliable.
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ElizabethAnne
Guest
Agreed!
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Greg72
Guest
I believe so. It’s so over-the-top it has to be a joke. I don’t get most modern sitcoms, but I found a lot of the descriptions in the article hillarious.
The jokes may have been in poor taste and, despite how much I enjoyed them, they were unnecessary and weren’t why I would recommend the article.
A
apricot_yogurt
Guest
Yes, I was also upset by this article. It was a very secular, worldly and selfish portrayal of marriage for a catholic publication.
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rayne89
Guest
NFP can be used to permanantly prevent conception if there are grave reasons to do so. I am in heart failure and can not survive another pregnancy. (Our only child is now 12.) We will be using NFP indefinitely unless there is a medical advancement that would change my condition. Considering I’m almost 36 this is extremely unlikely.
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monicatholic
Guest
This is an important point. If a person has an absolutely iron clad reason to avoid pregnancy (like going off cancer treatment would kill them) then that person is called to total abstinance while the situation exists.
as for serious vs. most serious reason to avoid pregnancy. one poster made a distinction between anxiety disorder and stress. The Church, in its wisdom and mercy does not attempt to define what is a serious reason to avoid pregnancy. That is left for my husband and I to take to prayer. Not a matter to consider lightly.
What may be a serious reason for me, may be a small matter to you. Whereas my tiredness might feel to me like sheer exhaustion and overwhelm, it may be, for another woman, simply a challenge to tough it out.
Avoidance of pregnancy is a personal decission and God alone will judge the sincerity of our intentions and prayer. In the end, it’s a conscience thing. But we are entirely responsible to form our consciences according to Truth, which can be found in its fulness in Church teaching.
That’s the heart of NFP. That’s why NFP makes us a stronger couple and better parents. Because it requires us FIRST to discern together, THEN to act together, FINALLY to be open to God’s will for our family-- together. All of this together.
Using it as a presumptuous solution to avoid pregnancy is sure to inspire bitterness. But that’s how it is with all of God’s gifts-- misuse can turn a great blessing into a bitter pill.
My prayers for the OP. May obedience bring you peace.
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hasikelee
Guest
If they do not place hope and trust in effectively monitoring the woman’s body and fertility, then what are you proposing?
You mean that if they want to 100% prevent a chance of conception, then they must 100% adhere to total abstinence.
Right?
S
stayathomemommy
Guest
if you do chose to use a condom you should still learn NFP and practice it. Abstain during fertile times so you are not performing the marriage act while using a barrier method. No this is still not with in the churches teaching but i only say it because maybe you will love to learn and trust NFP and eventually stop using the condoms. You have a priest that gave you very bad council and you need to learn the churches teaching for yourself and then find a priest that is more orthodox.
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PennitentMan
Guest
Right.
That’s the harsh truth about the matter. That is what the Church teaches. Sucks don’t it? For people that absoutely cannot have another child…they have to abstain. No ands, if’s or buts.
Some folks proclaim that NFP is 100% effective and it will solve all your problems. But that’s not right. It’s not 100% effective and there is no other recourse for Catholics. It’s a heartless teaching and it’s potentially (and in some cases, actually) damaging famililes.
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