NFP and contraception

[sires6]

I have a friend (they always say that, don’t they), no but really, I have a friend who’s young and coming into the Catholic Church. She really loves St. Giovanna Molla (long story). She has serious medical conditions and is truly someone who should not get pregnant. At 20 she has such serious migraines they are afraid she will die of a stroke. And pregnance hormones aggravate her stroke scare and her migraines. The doctor (not a Catholic) suggested she get an IUD. She said no (abortaficant) and they were doing NFP… and she got pregnant. The meds she was on for migraines and the stroke… she’s off. She now must spend a certain amount of time sleeping, jsut to ward off the migraines.

Originally, I told her to stay away from the IUD but to call an OBGYN (neurologist, physiologist) at a Catholic Hospital and ask for some advice, but now it’s moot. What should I tell her when she has this baby and they are ready to put her back on the meds to keep her from getting a stroke and keep her migraines down to a dull roar, sometime like a year and half from now, since she also will breast feed the baby?

Any of you senior folks deal with this moral dilemna?

 

[marcadam]

Boiling down:

sires6:

I have a friend… She has serious medical conditions and is truly someone who should not get pregnant. …they were doing NFP… and she got pregnant.

What should I tell her when she has this baby and they are ready to put her back on the meds to keep her from getting a stroke and keep her migraines down to a dull roar, sometime like a year and half from now, since she also will breast feed the baby?

Any of you senior folks deal with this moral dilemna?

I’m not senior (yet) but almost…

The quick answer is: there is no “moral dilemma” here, since only one of the alternatives involves choosing a grave moral evil (contraception/sterilization) (I guarantee she will be pressured very soon after the birth for the latter, 'specially if she delivers Caesarian). Therefore, one avoids this.

Of course, this is a painful problem in a big way. My own wife suffers from an illness which doesn’t sound as risky as your friend’s (I don’t think there is a risk of sudden death) but which is nonetheless exacerbated by pregnancy and involves not a little pain. Our experience is, avoiding pregnancy with NFP works, despite what some (ironically) ignorant doctors may say. We want to have more children, but our decision will have to be carefully weighed. If she doesn’t feel as secure in the faith (you say she’s just “coming to” the church) the enormity of this may be overwhelming when the doctors are offering such a seemingly “easy” solution.

You advice to seek out a faithful OB/GYN is hardly moot; as she nears the end of her pregnancy, there will be more and more pressure from her doctors to consider what she’ll be “using” post-partum, and her answer of NFP could be met by incredulity and even derision. Coming from professionals, this kind of condescension and intimidation could wear her down and even away from the church. Her doctor needs to be in her corner in this decision in a big way.

All that being said, this part does worry me:

sometime like a year and half from now, since she also will breast feed the baby?

I know I don’t know the situation first-hand, but this seems as bad an idea as I can think of. Let’s just count the stressors here:

1. 
   *]Breastfeeding as a new mom.
   *]Postpartum hormones.
   *]Baby crying to be fed every 2-3 hours.
   *]Illness which requires regular sleep, moreso without medication.
   *]Illness which has a potential of stroke.
   
   This equation sums to BAD. I’m not sure what forces of which/whom she is under the influence, but rest assured there is no moral imperative to breast feed a baby. If she must, it may be okay for the first two weeks, since this will also get the most important mother’s milk to the child (colostrum). But given the situation as you have communicated it, she should avoid the pressure of doing this long term.

 

[Celeste88]

Since she is a Catholic an IUD or any other artificial BC is out of the question. There are a lot of different migraine medications and migraine preventative medications. I myself have a history of complicated migraines. While I was pregnant (years ago) my migraines increased but the neurologist I went to did give me some medication which helped. Not all medications are harmful to the baby and in this day and age the docs know which drugs pass or don’t pass through the placenta or to the baby during breastfeeding. I think she should work closely with a good neurologist to get the migraines under control.

 

[crohnie4life]

hi sires,

I have serious medical problems–had a stroke in 3/05 w/a blood clot & hemorrhage on my brain. My hemotologist just tested me recently to find out that I have a genetic blood clotting disorder which can cause serious health problems. Thus, I was told by all of my MDs–primary, GI, neurosurgeon, neurologist, and gyn that I would be a very high risk and could throw clots or even have a stroke.

My DH and I have been using NFP for 8 yrs… We have to be extremely careful to avoid a pregnancy. Since your friend is pregnant and high risk, I agree w/the other posters–seek an opinion from an other MD regarding taking safer meds while breastfeeding or even finding a prolife ob/gyn who doesn’t believe in birthcontrol pills & supports NFP, find a support group if possible for women who are high risk (it’s nice to talk to someone else who’s been in the same situation so you don’t feel alone), and if need be, switch doctors if they pressure your friend into taking birthcontrol or tying her tubes.

It’s her life and she deserves to be treated as a person w/respect to her health/well being. If her MD can’t do that, it’s time to find someone who will.


Lisa

 

[Black_Jaque]

Since she is a Catholic an IUD or any other artificial BC is out of the question.

I find statements like these comical. As if being non-catholic would make ABC acceptable.

I’m not so sure about Marc’s breastfeeding worries. Generally speaking the circumstances where breastfeeding would trully be bad are extremely rare. And there are a lot of benefits to the mother that could possibly mediate the migraine problem. And there’s also ways around the sleep issues even when breastfeeding.

 

[JMJ_Theresa]

It would be better for your friend not to breastfeed just for reading the signs. Often nursing obscures fertility signs. First of all, the thing that trips most people up is phase one. If you want to be very careful, then abstaining in phase one and phase two is most prudent. Phase three is easy to detect by physical signs alone. Phase three is very very safe. A NFP trained doctor can teach your friend to read the internal signs.

My sister had an aneurysm after her last baby and almost died. She is expecting again and they will do a C-section so the pressure of pushing will not have the same effect. Unfortunately, my sister uses contraception. I think if she was using NFP prudently, she would not have this unplanned pregnancy. However, she is doing fine so far–it’s a boy!! We are so excited to meet him.

 

[Superstar905]

wait a sec…using a contraceptive drug for medical reasons, as in the one mentioned here, is not a sin. I have always thought that is what the Church teaches.