NFP and Contraception

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Susansmum

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Hi,

My husband is open to some sort of use of NFP, although he insists on using contraception during the fertile times. I don’t conracept, but I wonder if I should refuse him during this period?? I am open to falling pregnant, but he isn’t really ready. I’m afraid that if I push the abstenance issue that he will refuse NFP altogether?

We have come a long way as originally he wouldn’t let me come off the pill, and then he would always contracept, now he is open to me using NFP, but wants to contracept during the fertile times.

I just want to know if it is ok on my part, as long as he knows how I feel?Or should I refuse him during the times he wants to contracept?

Prayer has been a big part of the changes in his atitude so far, and I will be doing a lot of that, I’m just not sure what to do in the mean time?

Thanks for your help.
 
I’m assuming he would be using condoms. I think eventually he’ll be sick of using condoms and rather wait. I wasn’t on the Pill, but we used condoms before going to NFP. But you have to consider this, if contraception is going to fail it will only fail when you are fertile. The failure rates of contraception is misleading because it calculates the phases of the cycle when you are infertile.
 
:confused: :eek:

I think you need to find one Priest to go to confession to and stick with one.

I just responded to another thread of yours and now I am feeling a bit confused about all this…
 
Wow, that question has my head spinning. I am interested to see the correct answer to this because I have no clue

Maybe you could just use the, I’ve got a headache excuse.

That is wonderful that he will at least lose the condom sometimes. Be thankful for at least that victory.
 
Sorry it is a bit confusing, I had originally thought that he was ready to go the whole NFP route, but it turns out that I was confused and he actually meant that he will not contracept at some times of the month and others he would…
 
Susansmum said:
Sorry it is a bit confusing, I had originally thought that he was ready to go the whole NFP route, but it turns out that I was confused and he actually meant that he will not contracept at some times of the month and others he would…
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Got it!

I hope it all works out. Ask Our Lady to help.
 
Hi Susansmum,

Check out this thread, too: Contraception - Passive v. Active?

The subject has actually been covered in the Ask an Apologist forum, and I posted some links to the related posts in the above thread.

I also went ahead and posted a new question on the AAA forum, which will hopefully be answered in the next few days. I have been curious whether or not a spouse in such a situation would be justified in refusing his/her spouse marital relations. I’ll pray for you!
 
Thankyou so much for your posts!

I have just spoken to him about it a little more. I was wondering if there were any audio books or pod casts on NFP and the catholic perspective for beginners??

I will also pray for guidance on how best to approach this with him further.
 
Well, I hate to be so blunt about this, but if your husband still uses contraception during the fertile times, then you all are not practicing NFP!

It’s great that he is willing to be open at some times of the fertility cycle, but letting go to God’s plan is the ultimate goal.

I suggest getting in touch with the Couple to Couple League. www.ccli.org

My wife and I learned NFP and then became NFP instructors. God Bless you and your husband!
 
Susansmum said:
Hi,

My husband is open to some sort of use of NFP, although he insists on using contraception during the fertile times. I don’t conracept, but I wonder if I should refuse him during this period?? I am open to falling pregnant, but he isn’t really ready. I’m afraid that if I push the abstenance issue that he will refuse NFP altogether?

We have come a long way as originally he wouldn’t let me come off the pill, and then he would always contracept, now he is open to me using NFP, but wants to contracept during the fertile times.

I just want to know if it is ok on my part, as long as he knows how I feel?Or should I refuse him during the times he wants to contracept?

Prayer has been a big part of the changes in his atitude so far, and I will be doing a lot of that, I’m just not sure what to do in the mean time?

Thanks for your help.
Click to expand...
One of you wants a baby and the other doesn’t. Natural versus artificial contraception is really a distraction from your real problem, though you are right that your husband’s use of condoms is not sanctioned by the Church.

You need to decide what marriage is for. It might be that your husband really needs a bit more time as a young and free man before he is ready to grow up and accept the responsiblities of fatherhood, assuming you to be childless. That’s not the worst thing in the world. Have a drink-fuelled indulgent Christmas, and hope he grows out of it.
 
I have to agree with Malcolm. If your husband isn’t ready for a child, why did he bother getting married?
However, since you are making progress into his secular mindset, keep praying and know that if you do not put the condom on, you aren’t really contracepting. I think since he’s come this far, he’s a good chance of coming around. Plus guys do hate condoms. While he is frustrating God’s creativity, at least he’s not pressuring you into the pill, which can kill your unborn babies. I know if he made that leap, he’ll come around.🙂
 
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