G
GraceMerrie
Guest
Question regarding using NFP when first married. My fiancé and I are newly engaged. We are trying to figure out a date for the wedding. A bit of relevant information, I am 23 and my fiancé is 26. We are both currently attending college.
Some of our relatives (my aunt, uncle, his mother, ect.) have been pushing us to wait until after college to get married. His mother is a bit of a cafeteria catholic and keeps pushing that even if we get married, we should on the pill for a while (which neither my fiancé or I consider an option EVER). We understand going into it that we won’t have a lot of money and are looking at a poor/simple life for a number of years and that with marriage (even with NFP) that there is the potential for life/children. We can understand how this could lead for an argument that we should wait until after college before getting married.
That being said, neither of us are “traditional” students. I was homeschooled, went to community college (which has slowed down/used up my electives for classes I don’t need), and have been at university for 3-years. I don’t like talking about it, but since this is relevant, I was raped the summer before starting university. I had PTSD for a while and then counseling which both dramatically affected my grades / course load. I still have a year and a half before I will earn my bachelors. I am on a pre-med track. I will have 2-years of school left for my Masters and then (assuming I got accepted right away) 4 years of medical school, plus residency. My fiancé has his master’s degree and is currently in the Phd program. The professor he was working under however was recently fired however. This was devastating to him as he will have to re-do all three years of research under a different professor for his thesis.
Basically, we both have a lot of schooling left. If we waited until we were finished with school to get married, I might be too old to have children at all. Also relevant, most of the woman in my family (my mom, one aunt, and my grandmother) all developed tumors on one of their ovaries in their late 20’s early 30’s and had to have it removed. This sped up the development of menopause.
I am sorry if this was a little scattered, my mind is all over the place as I consider it! Basically, understanding the above, what are your thoughts on getting married in college and at least attempting NFP for the first two years (being open to the fact that life could still occur, and if it does, perhaps God is blessing us with a gift we might have been able to have had we waited longer).
I also want to add, that I don’t believe any of this will be easy, but current life experiences mentioned above have taught me and my fiancé strength and to find joy no matter the circumstances. We know there will be good days and bad, but that’s life and that’s okay.
Thank you to all who took the time to read this! God bless.
Some of our relatives (my aunt, uncle, his mother, ect.) have been pushing us to wait until after college to get married. His mother is a bit of a cafeteria catholic and keeps pushing that even if we get married, we should on the pill for a while (which neither my fiancé or I consider an option EVER). We understand going into it that we won’t have a lot of money and are looking at a poor/simple life for a number of years and that with marriage (even with NFP) that there is the potential for life/children. We can understand how this could lead for an argument that we should wait until after college before getting married.
That being said, neither of us are “traditional” students. I was homeschooled, went to community college (which has slowed down/used up my electives for classes I don’t need), and have been at university for 3-years. I don’t like talking about it, but since this is relevant, I was raped the summer before starting university. I had PTSD for a while and then counseling which both dramatically affected my grades / course load. I still have a year and a half before I will earn my bachelors. I am on a pre-med track. I will have 2-years of school left for my Masters and then (assuming I got accepted right away) 4 years of medical school, plus residency. My fiancé has his master’s degree and is currently in the Phd program. The professor he was working under however was recently fired however. This was devastating to him as he will have to re-do all three years of research under a different professor for his thesis.
Basically, we both have a lot of schooling left. If we waited until we were finished with school to get married, I might be too old to have children at all. Also relevant, most of the woman in my family (my mom, one aunt, and my grandmother) all developed tumors on one of their ovaries in their late 20’s early 30’s and had to have it removed. This sped up the development of menopause.
I am sorry if this was a little scattered, my mind is all over the place as I consider it! Basically, understanding the above, what are your thoughts on getting married in college and at least attempting NFP for the first two years (being open to the fact that life could still occur, and if it does, perhaps God is blessing us with a gift we might have been able to have had we waited longer).
I also want to add, that I don’t believe any of this will be easy, but current life experiences mentioned above have taught me and my fiancé strength and to find joy no matter the circumstances. We know there will be good days and bad, but that’s life and that’s okay.
Thank you to all who took the time to read this! God bless.
