NFP as spiritual warfare?

[itsjustdave1988]

thanks dave–what would it mean for example, if my husband or I were not willing to follow NFP? (we both are, but just for the sake of discussion) Could you better explain?

It is up to each couple to discern the will of God by first informing their conscience, then following their certain conscience. If after prayerful discernment, a couple believes it is God’s will for them to have more children, but then they refuse to have conjugal relations during the fertile period, then I’d say that they are at least committing a venial sin.

If however, the couple has concluded it is God’s will that they already have what John Paul II called the “morally correct level” of children, then it may be contrary to God’s will to have sexual relations during one’s fertile period. For example, the woman has a heart condition to the extent that she would not likely survive another pregnancy. To engage in sexual relations during the fertile period may be rash or imprudent, contrary to “right reason” or the “greater good” of their family. In this instance, refusing periodic continence or even permanent continence may be at least a venial sin.

However, if there are no reasons why having more children would be imprudent or rash, then I can’t see that simply leaving whether one has further children up to the providence of God could be considered contrary to what Paul VI calls “responsible parenthood.”

Paul VI:

With regard to physical, economic, psychological and social conditions, responsible parenthood is exercised by those who prudently and generously decide to have more children, and by those who, for serious reasons and with due respect to moral precepts, decide not to have additional children for either a certain or an indefinite period of time.

Responsible parenthood, as we use the term here, has one further essential aspect of paramount importance. It concerns the objective moral order which was established by God, and of which a right conscience is the true interpreter. In a word, the exercise of responsible parenthood requires that husband and wife, keeping a right order of priorities, recognize their own duties toward God, themselves, their families and human society.

From this it follows that they are not free to act as they choose* in the service of transmitting life, as if it were wholly up to them to decide what is the right course to follow. *On the contrary, they are bound to ensure that what they do corresponds to the will of God the Creator. The very nature of marriage and its use makes His will clear, while the constant teaching of the Church spells it out.

[Humanae Vitae, 10]

 

[FLCathMom]

“the three conditions for the licit practice of [NFP] are mutual willingness, mutual ability, and sufficient reason.” [John Ford, S.J. and Gerald Kelly, S.J., *Contemporary Moral Theology, Vol II, Marriage Questions,

(Newman Press: 1964), p. 433].

Thank you for posting this. I don’t see this mentioned much, but abstinence may only be used upon mutual consent. The de facto position is that we will “accept children lovingly from God.” Unless both spouses agree to abstain, NFP may not be used.

I went through this in August w/ my dh. He was contracepting, and I wanted to use NFP. The thing is, I was the one who wanted to postpone because ds (our 4th) was still only 10 months old, and I was pretty run down w/ PPD, basically exhausted. There were (are) also financial concerns. Dh didn’t want to abstain- he is a non-practicing Catholic, and I really believed he is/was spiritually unprepared to handle abstinence. So, despite having good reason to use NFP, we don’t, because that other condition is not met: we do not both agree to abstain.

It is now almost February and I still have not gotten pregnant, but I have slowly been getting used to the idea. Now dh has put in an application to go to school at night. You all have no idea what a miracle that is. With the prospect of more children on the horizon, dh has decided on a career change.

 

[whatevergirl]

thanks dave for posting that–very helpful!