NFP & divorce

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natural family planning isn’t largely known due to attacks against it. however, I am curious if anyone knows of possible statistics about divorce rate within families that use nfp and even vs. those who don’t.

I have found physiciansforlife.org/content/view/193/36/
but do not have more. this link follows to “unofficial results” that will easily be dismissed by the … less impressive bunch. especially when it sounds like it doesn’t count for anything and has been made up.

can anyone help in my search desires?
 
Such a statistic is very difficult to document.

According to the National Center for Health Statistics between 2002 and 2006 1% of the married couples, 0.4% of the cohabiting couples and 0.2% of the single non cohabiting women used NFP. This means that the 1% married couple have special Catholic mindset (let my God bless them) which is also against the adultery and for the acceptance of the difficulties of the marriage. They also do not divorce as a principle.

It is very unlikely that the NFP in itself would save the marriage
 
NFP doesn’t prevent divorce. Healthy sexual union between spouses does. NFP is merely a tool to try to help maintain that healthy sexual union even when there is a serious reason not to get pregnant. Good tools don’t make a great mechanic. But then again, a you can’t be a great mechanic if you don’t have tools, either.

I’d try the Couple to Couple League if you really want the statistics. But instead of touting NFP as the ‘magic bullet’ I’d suggest touting healthy catholic sexual outlook and practice. Contraception always pushes couples towards an unhealthy sexuality, But NFP doesn’t guarantee a healthy sexuality. It just is a way of avoiding guaranteed damage. The couple still needs to work hard and sacrifice themselves for one another. NFP just supports that instead of working against it.
 
NFP has been the single biggest strain on my marriage. The fact that we’re both Catholics has kept us from divorcing, were openness to life forced upon us in the absence of our Catholic faith, it would have liekly led to a divorce.

Thankfully, we’re happily married now. NFP has not improved our marriage, however, and we have not enjoyed any of it’s supposed benefits. It has, for us, proven to be a sham in each of it’s promisses.
 
I, too, wish there were good statistics. I don’t really trust some of the numbers you cited. Too much hype, not really disinterested science. But I do know this: NFP–or just being open to fertility–changes the nature of the marital bed. Relations really mean something. Prior to the advent of artificial birth control, there was a natural economy or balance in relations. With birth control, there is a certain mechanical, pedestrian, casual aspect that enters marital relations. For dear wife and I, birth control led to divorce; openness to fertility was a necessary condition of our reconciliation. It has not been easy. I don’t have a lot of my personal wants met, such as a great car or superb musical instrument. But being a parent of a seven children has also forced me–a really selfish guy–to think of others first. I don’t trust NFP’s figures on effectiveness either. I think the CDC rates it as being 85% effective within a single year. That seems much more accurate to me. For one, dear wife and I have generally found that we have strong urges to have relations during fertile times and not so much during other occasions. This makes sense biologically, of course. Even so, NFP can be a good way of spacing children, especially ecological breastfeeding, if practiced diligently.
 
micahmike said:
NFP has been the single biggest strain on my marriage. The fact that we’re both Catholics has kept us from divorcing, were openness to life forced upon us in the absence of our Catholic faith, it would have liekly led to a divorce.

Thankfully, we’re happily married now. NFP has not improved our marriage, however, and we have not enjoyed any of it’s supposed benefits. It has, for us, proven to be a sham in each of it’s promisses.
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how so? both your husband and you work together to understand your body. sounds more like peace if you consider that peace is found within balance and control. especially if you and your husband are working together - comradeship is ideal in any relationship after all.

also, I’m guessing that you are or have been pregnant even with the use of fnp?
 
da_nolo said:
how so? both your husband and you work together to understand your body. sounds more like peace if you consider that peace is found within balance and control. especially if you and your husband are working together - comradeship is ideal in any relationship after all.

also, I’m guessing that you are or have been pregnant even with the use of fnp?
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We aren’t idiots. We understood basic biology before we practiced NFP. We are in love, and one of us grabbing a chart and handing the other a thermometer is hardly the sort of activity that would improve our marriage. We have fallen pregnant while using NFP 3-4 times (1 of them we were partly to blame for not being sufficiently conservative), resulting in 5 children in under 7 years.

If peace is found in ballance and control, that explaine why we have so little use for NFP. It gave us no control and resulted in a very unballanced sex life, where the only times we could consider having sex was when our bodies were least in the mood for the act. Oh well, there’s more to life than sex, and at least we got to have a good sex life for a little while.

“Dear husband”? “Dear wife”? “Realtions?” This language is kinda creepy. My spouse and I have relations every day. We don’t have sex very often these days…well, when she’s pregnant we do. Pregnancy is our birth control. While we have more children than we are prepared to care for, at least we get to have lots and lots and lots of good sex for 9 months, followed by 12 of relatively infrequent, unenjoyable, paranoid sex.
 
micahmike said:
We aren’t idiots. We understood basic biology before we practiced NFP. We are in love, and one of us grabbing a chart and handing the other a thermometer is hardly the sort of activity that would improve our marriage. We have fallen pregnant while using NFP 3-4 times (1 of them we were partly to blame for not being sufficiently conservative), resulting in 5 children in under 7 years.

If peace is found in ballance and control, that explaine why we have so little use for NFP. It gave us no control and resulted in a very unballanced sex life, where the only times we could consider having sex was when our bodies were least in the mood for the act. Oh well, there’s more to life than sex, and at least we got to have a good sex life for a little while.

“Dear husband”? “Dear wife”? “Realtions?” This language is kinda creepy. My spouse and I have relations every day. We don’t have sex very often these days…well, when she’s pregnant we do. Pregnancy is our birth control. While we have more children than we are prepared to care for, at least we get to have lots and lots and lots of good sex for 9 months, followed by 12 of relatively infrequent, unenjoyable, paranoid sex.
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Thank you for this honest post. It’s good to know that one is not alone in their feelings toward NFP. I am sorry it has caused you grief, and truly, I think it probably does for many. Too bad they don’t realize, that, IMO, they may as well just use ABC, especially if NFP is only being used as a method of birth control.

My wife and I have discussed, read, tried and gave serious prayer time to NFP over the past years. Our conclusion as a couple who has been very happily married for 22 years? It’s not worth the effort. We love each other. God knows that. He knows we have been open to life in the past, and he has graced us with beautiful children. We won’t use chemical or abortificant types of ABC, but I honestly, again, after MUCH time spent in prayer, believe he is telling me there is nothing wrong with barriers, or other similar methods to keep our intimacy alive.

I have seriously considered the Eastern Churches for some of the reasons I mention above regarding thought and prayer on the subject. I understand from close friends, we could actually discuss these feelings with our spiritual father, and circumstances would be considered. That actually makes sense to me.

I hope things are good for you now, and in the future.
 
Micahmike,
Ouch. Not a big fan of the word “creepy” either. But I do appreciate your criticism. I think William Strunk would have agreed, but for different reasons.
 
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