NFP Female Sexual Desire

[Leo7219]

I’ve been reading Humanae Vitae and many of the other threads on this forum about NFP, and it makes good sense to me all in all.

The Purpose: Spacing children or health is good, The Method: selective abstinence also good.

My only question/hesitation is that I heard that women’s most fertile days are also the days where they have the highest sexual desire. Can anyone confirm this for me? And if it is true, how do you deal with this?

Thanks!

 

[Corki]

I’ve been reading Humanae Vitae and many of the other threads on this forum about NFP, and it makes good sense to me all in all.

The Purpose: Spacing children or health is good, The Method: selective abstinence also good.

My only question/hesitation is that I heard that women’s most fertile days are also the days where they have the highest sexual desire. Can anyone confirm this for me? And if it is true, how do you deal with this?

Thanks!

Yes. A woman’s hormonal cycle is designed for fecundity. Fecundity is enhanced when high sexual desire coincides with high fertility.

I am not sure what you mean by “how do you deal with it”. Delaying a child is a sacrifice. Like other sacrifices, you offer it up.

 

[Allegra]

In my experience, one is more easily (ahem) “excited” when one is fertile, however, that doesn’t mean that one isn’t going to be game on other days as well. It’s not difficult to “deal” with this. It gives you something to look forward to.

 

[Rafaela]

I can confirm OP:s thinking.

In fact if I make the initiave then my husband is likely to say:’‘Honey, are you sure about this? I think we might get another baby in 9months from now.’’

 

[Becca3]

At what age group does this desire come about?

 

[Hat4]

The pill numbs a women’s drive all the time so that’s not perfect either. She may be more driven during the fertile time of the month but if you give her a few extra minutes of attention she’ll end up having the same “mood” the rest of the month anyway. She’s worth the extra effort. That being said when you decide to try for a child it’s usually a really good month or two .

 

[nodito]

At what age group does this desire come about?

I would assume that it generally begins around the same time that sexual desire in general begins (i.e., puberty).

I’ve heard it said often enough that I believe that many women do experience higher desire during the fertile periods. I’ve never noticed it myself. I’m pregnant now (and therefore, infertile) and I’d say my desire is comparable to my pre-pregnancy level.

 

[Becca3]

I would assume that it generally begins around the same time that sexual desire in general begins (i.e., puberty).

I’ve heard it said often enough that I believe that many women do experience higher desire during the fertile periods. I’ve never noticed it myself. I’m pregnant now (and therefore, infertile) and I’d say my desire is comparable to my pre-pregnancy level.

Yes, the desire would naturally come right before a woman’s period telling her she needs to procreate.

 

[nodito]

Yes, the desire would naturally come right before a woman’s period telling her she needs to procreate.

No, not right before her period, because the luteal phase (period after ovulation and before the next period) is usually about two weeks. She would feel stronger desire during the fertile period, which is the few days proceeding ovulation and a day or two after. This usually falls in the middle of the cycle if a woman has regular cycles that last around 28 days.

 

[Em_in_FL]

Yes, the desire would naturally come right before a woman’s period telling her she needs to procreate.

No, not right before her period, because the luteal phase (period after ovulation and before the next period) is usually about two weeks. She would feel stronger desire during the fertile period, which is the few days proceeding ovulation and a day or two after. This usually falls in the middle of the cycle if a woman has regular cycles that last around 28 days.

I believe Becca meant when during the lifetime of the female… not when during her cycle… as in, the sexual desires would kick in for a female when she started her cycle (around the age of 13, for example)…

But yes - within the woman’s cycle, ovulation is when libido is at it’s peak.

 

[maryjk]

My only question/hesitation is that I heard that women’s most fertile days are also the days where they have the highest sexual desire. Can anyone confirm this for me? And if it is true, how do you deal with this?

Thanks!

Yep, I can confirm. In fact, desire can be part of confirming fertile days.

Deal with it? It is part of life.

 

[CatholicRaven]

Leo7219,
For myself, I’ve found that there is not a very* large difference in desire between fertile and non-fertile periods, but there is a bit of a difference. It’s barely noticeable, not usually even strong enough to distract me from my regular routines (it’s not like I spend my day thinking about sex), but we’ve found that if my husband wants to “seduce” me, I can transition a little faster emotionally from “mom/homemaker” to “wife/lover” on the most fertile days of my cycle. But, as someone else mentioned, it really doesn’t take that *much more effort any other day, anyway.

My desire is generally strongest when I feel loved and emotionally close to my husband, regardless of the day of my cycle. So I generally find using NFP to avoid pregnancy no more difficult or easy than, say, offering up sacrifices during Lent. There may be some days when it can be a bit of a struggle, but it helps to avoid situations where I’ll (or we’ll) be “tempted.”

Since, when we use NFP, my husband is aware of the days we need to avoid sex, he takes the lead and doesn’t purposely try to arouse me on those days; I truly appreciate this–it makes me feel like he knows I’m worth the wait! We generally hold hands, snuggle, and he might brush my hair for me (which I find relaxing). We are affectionate and tender on those days, rather than flirty and sensual/sexual. I love that he shows restraint and self-control, similar to when we were dating.

So that’s how we “deal with it.” HTH!

 

[Em_in_FL]

I’ve been reading Humanae Vitae and many of the other threads on this forum about NFP, and it makes good sense to me all in all.

The Purpose: Spacing children or health is good, The Method: selective abstinence also good.

My only question/hesitation is that I heard that women’s most fertile days are also the days where they have the highest sexual desire. Can anyone confirm this for me? And if it is true, how do you deal with this?

Thanks!

My husband likes to joke about the fact that he tends to hide in the corner of a dark room with a rape whistle and a can of pepper spray…
… which is only partially true - he’ll do the same with the lights on too.

 

[Allegra]

Yes, the desire would naturally come right before a woman’s period telling her she needs to procreate.

A woman does not ovulate right before her period. It’s generally between 12 and 15 days prior.

 

[Allegra]

I believe Becca meant when during the lifetime of the female… not when during her cycle… as in, the sexual desires would kick in for a female when she started her cycle (around the age of 13, for example)…

But yes - within the woman’s cycle, ovulation is when libido is at it’s peak.

In that case, I disagree. Desire began for me a least a couple years after menstruation began. It might have to do with what age a girl is when she starts, by I don’t think my experience is atypical.