NFP for selfish reasons

[exarctly]

I can relate to those who are confused because sometimes you want to know for sure that your reasons are just. Is money enough? Especially when you know that God can and does provide. Even though it looks like we can not afford to raise a child, we see even poorer people do it and those couples that have like 10 children seem to be happy.
But at the same time I think that we are called to be prudential, and while somewhat open to taking risks, and that managing and living within a reasonable means is also something that we are called to do as opposed to putting God in a situation where he has to fix something that we should have thought through. I wouldn’t just buy a new house that I couldn’t pay the monthly payments on just because having a house is a good thing.
Still, I know that children are special and that God will provide, so the point is that we need to continue to pray and think and ask to please God in these decisions. And of course money is only one concern. Other issues may also further complicate things.
My point being, I am still learning how to discern this issue as well, and do want to avoid selfish use.

 

[Faith_at_Large]

It is a challenging issue. I do believe that NFP can be used for selfish reasons if it is being used to simply limit family size for the same reason as anyone using artificial birth control. But NFP is not the same as artificial birth control, and not all who use it are using it selfishly.

There are many reasons to want to space one’s children and it is not always a case where we can just put off marriage - stuff happens in the middle of married life that can make NFP very useful. And, while the first selling feature is its effectiveness in avoiding pregnancy, the second feature is its benefit in helping women to get pregnant and even to determine when a child will be born.

I have used NFP both ways. I had my first child nine and a half months after getting married, but after my second child, it was necessary to delay the third child - there were a number of issues both medical and financial (job loss) that made this necessary - but the delay was a temporary measure and an act of stewardship. I had two more children after that, and two miscarriages. NFP has been a Godsend to us.

We were never afraid of having a large family, but expect that we likely will not given that we did meet and marry later than ideal. If we had met when we were younger, I can only guess at how many children we might have had.

 

[yellow8yellowM]

This statement is absolutely false. If NFP does not deprive the marital act of the procreative meaning, then why is it used? Because NFP is advertised as being “99% effective in the avoidance of pregnancy - more effective than the pill or condoms”. Indeed, NFP denies the procreative meaning even more than gravely immoral “artificial” methods…just slightly less than homosexual acts, which are always intrinsically disordered.

Let me try to explain the difference from a biological/natural law point of view. Artificial birth control (ABC) and condoms create an unnatural physical barrier between the sperm and the egg (I won’t even get into abortifacients). Natural family planning (NFP) does not. Even if you have sex once a month, during the most infertile day of the month, the couple has not introduced any unnatural barrier to conception. The same is true for women after menopause. Having sex after menopause does not introduce any unnatural barrier to conception, therefore it does not violate the natural law.

I would agree in some fashion with amgp and the Magisterium (in full) that people who for no just/serious reason regulate conception using NFP. This would be sinful-whether venial or mortal would vary depending on the circumstances.

 

[fpt]

The acception of the concept of serious or grave reasons (here, serious is grave, no difference, even if some persons want to see a difference) for spacing the pregnancies of wife or for avoiding the babies seems to be very large.

All types of reasons are morally okay, according to the catholic church, if they are serious, fair, objective and realistic.

For instance:

Moral reasons of wife and / or of husband, mental reasons of wife and / or of husband;
Psychological reasons of wife and / or of husband, physical reasons of wife and / or of husband, physiological reasons of wife and / or of husband, sexual reasons of wife and / or of husband, medical reasons of wife and / or of husband, spiritual reasons of wife and / or of husband,
Economical and financial reasons of couple;
Social reasons of wife and / or of husband;
Legal reasons from the Civial State (see in China, Only one kid), even if this law is unfair, immoral and against the liberty of couple;
The reasons in link with the children of the family who are already here;
The fact of wanting to finish your education; wanting to save up for children’s future education; being tired; being stressed; being burdened by debt; having to move; having a small, crowded house; being depressed; feeling overwhelmed.

ETC…

By principle, in my opinion, with the NFP, there is no presumption of selfishness, and thus no presumption of being in the sinful way.