NFP for Young Newly Weds

[thewadegeek]

Ok…so the title might be a BIT misleading, because I’m not newly wed yet, but my girlfriend and I have started discussing it more in-depth recently! But anyways, my story and question!

I have a AMAZING relationship with a girl. As in, we aren’t in it for physical attraction, though it does exist, we are together because we honestly like each other and get along. We were best friends for a good while, and last fall we decided we had a deeper interest in each other and we wanted to see where that led us. Now she is not Catholic(though conversion for her is being discussed), but she is VERY open to Catholic ideas and teachings.

Well naturally NFP vs contraception came up, and we have had several talks about it. One of the concerns she voiced though is that she has VERY erratic cycles. Also her mother claims that she(the mother) was fertile essentially 100% of the time, and thus NFP will do nothing. My first thought was I didn’t even know that was possible, but I don’t claim to know everything!! So will NFP work with extreme fertility, and semi-random cycles? The bottom line is she understands where I and the Catholic church are coming from, but she is scared of having a baby right away once we are married, since we would be getting married pretty young.

Any help/prayers would be appreciated, God bless all!!

 

[maryjk]

Fertile 100% of the time. I guess it is possible, maybe.

No, I can’t think of how someone would be fertile 100% of the time.

Your girlfriend needs to do some research. See if there is someone at your parish that teaches NFP. There are some wonderful books out there. (Keep in mind some encourage barrier methods during fertile times.)

On another note…if you are not ready to be parents you may not be ready to get married. The only birth control method that is 100% is abstaining. Any other method, there is a chance.

When you get married you agree to accept any children God sends to you. If you are not ready to do that, are you really ready to be married???

 

[Moore11]

One cannot be fertile 100 percent of the time. An egg is released once a month. There are a finite number of eggs. If one was releasing enough eggs to be fertile 100 percent of the time they would be out of eggs by the time you get married. This sounds more like a case of her needing to be educated about her body. I would suggest couple to couple league.

 

[PaulGH]

My wife has irregular cycles, and NFP has worked for us. The only downside is that when she has an extra-long cycle, it can mean a longer time that we have to abstain.

 

[AthenaC]

If you cannot reliably predict when she is fertile, and you both want sex (which is not a bad thing!), then parenthood may be for you!

You don’t say in your info how old you are or where you are in life, but allow me to submit to you that parenthood in college is actually a great thing. You have more time for the kiddos when they are babies, and that is worth more than anything. Been there, done that - let me know if you want details. Plus, if at any point she gets pregnant, you have the better part of a year to lock down the logistics.

 

[Pink_Lemonade]

As other posters have pointed out, no woman is fertile 100% of the time. Your girlfriend would benefit from learning about NFP and should also begin charting. She will either discover that she can tell when she is fertile, or discover that she has underlying health problems that need to be addressed. Either way, the outcome is good.

Also, what does it mean that she is scared to have a child? If you mean she is nervous but ultimately prepared to accept a child whenever it happens, well ok. If you mean she is scared and wants to prevent it from happening, even though neither of you know whether you’ll have a serious enough reason to postpone a pregnancy when married, then you are not ready to be married.

 

[nfpandme]

I would wholeheartedly advise for her to start charting. I too have irregular cycles and having now been using NFP for 2+ years to postpone a pregnancy. Once she starts charting (and if you’re comfortable with it I’d advise you helping with the charting, it will add so much to the concept that fertility is a shared responsibility) she’ll start to be able to determine when she is and isn’t fertile. I’m not going to lie this can be incredibly intimidating at first and the best way to have faith in the system is to actually put it to work. Anyways, there’s a new site coming in May called iuseNFP.com and it’s going to have lots of details and testimonies from women all of ages, creeds, and stages of life that may be helpful to her.

I know it can be scary at first (trust me I was a nut case when we started) so I’ll be sending lots of prayers your way.

 

[HOPE1980]

Just like others have stated the women is not fertile 100% of the time (however, the man is).

I would recommend the both of you learn NFP. I highly recommend Creighton Method (& NaPro Technology). If she has irregular cycles, Creighton can help identify when she is fertile and help you two to know when to abstain. Very beneficial for the couple to attend the classes together and if you two decide to have a Catholic wedding, an NFP class may be required as part of Pre-Cana.

Here are a couple of links for Creighton:
creightonmodel.com/
simone-perseverance.blogspot.com/p/napro-faq.html

Link to commonly used NFP methods:
livingthesacrament.com/index.php/methods

 

[NFP1Kate]

No woman is fertile 100% of the time. This might be difficult for her to reconcile given her background and her parents’ lack of knowledge and support.

NFP is based on fertile signs and symptoms and she can take her temperature to verify when she ovulates. She can start practicing any time, and it ill be good for her to know it well. She should take a class because it is very confusing and someone should be available to help her learn.
Good luck

 

[thewadegeek]

Good morning all!!

Thanks for all the help, advice, prayers, and support! We both appreciate the thoughts, links and ideas! I’ll definitely do some more reading, and we’ll both continue to learn. Thanks for helping!

God bless!!!