NFP - How many safe days to you have ?

[SusanneT]

An alternative is using the fertile time to “desensitize”. It is really hard to suppress all sexual feelings during the fertile time and then all of a sudden flip the switch to allow arousal.

Judicious use of nakedness and togetherness during the fertile time can bring a couple together and help to smooth out the sexual part. We actually enjoy that there is no march to the “happy ending” and just togetherness for the sake of togetherness. Yes, you have to learn to control yourself, but, well, that’s sorta the point.

Just create some ground rules so you don’t go too far, remember to respect your spouse and not use your ability to arouse them to go too far, and this can be a useful tool to increase closeness and trust. It also helps remove the all-or-nothing aspect of a few days every month.

My husband says this would be a nightmare. He has no problem becoming aroused through our normal affection etc. But it is having to supress these feelings through most of the month, which makes it so difficult when we can be intimate.

 

[Raising3]

We only have 1-2 safe days, I really hate NFP. I felt we were lied to by all the NFP and pre-marriage prep. I guess for them they had cycles that had more than 1-2 days that are safe. I hope someday to return to NFP when we can afford more kids. Until then I trust God understands

I hope you don’t take this the wrong way because it is not meant to be judgemental.

It is my understanding that if your luteal phase is only 1-2 days, you would not be able to hold a pregnancy and therefore would not become pregnant. What method are you using?Or do you just have really long cycles? The normal luteal phase is about 10-14 days so once ovulation is confirmed, you are safe until your period arrives.

 

[emmar]

I hope you don’t take this the wrong way because it is not meant to be judgemental.

It is my understanding that if your luteal phase is only 1-2 days, you would not be able to hold a pregnancy and therefore would not become pregnant. What method are you using?Or do you just have really long cycles? The normal luteal phase is about 10-14 days so once ovulation is confirmed, you are safe until your period arrives.

We were using Billings. You would think I wouldn’t be able to keep a pregnancy with only 1-2 days, but here we are with a 5 month old. I wish I had a normal luteal phase, NFP instructors can’t figure it out either

The only thing NFP has done for me is make me hate my body and the way it works.

 

[Mary_Gail_36]

We were using Billings. You would think I wouldn’t be able to keep a pregnancy with only 1-2 days, but here we are with a 5 month old. I wish I had a normal luteal phase, NFP instructors can’t figure it out either

The only thing NFP has done for me is make me hate my body and the way it works.

Do you have the possibility to learn Creighton? It’s similar to Billings, but more precise when it comes to health problems.

 

[Charlotte1776]

We were using Billings. You would think I wouldn’t be able to keep a pregnancy with only 1-2 days, but here we are with a 5 month old. I wish I had a normal luteal phase, NFP instructors can’t figure it out either

The only thing NFP has done for me is make me hate my body and the way it works.

Do you mean you only have one or two safe days or that your entire luteal phase is just a couple days long? Both are short but dang, a 2 day luteal phase would probably mean your hormones are totally out of whack. Have you talked to a doctor about getting hormone levels tested, or thyroid function? Having a luteal phase so far out of the normal range indicates that there may be an underlying problem.

I’d also recommend reading Cycles, Fertility, and Nutrition. The nutritional advice made a big difference for me and it brought my crazy low temperatures (like 96.2) up to the normal range.

 

[emmar]

Do you mean you only have one or two safe days or that your entire luteal phase is just a couple days long? Both are short but dang, a 2 day luteal phase would probably mean your hormones are totally out of whack. Have you talked to a doctor about getting hormone levels tested, or thyroid function? Having a luteal phase so far out of the normal range indicates that there may be an underlying problem.

I’d also recommend reading Cycles, Fertility, and Nutrition. The nutritional advice made a big difference for me and it brought my crazy low temperatures (like 96.2) up to the normal range.

I only have 2 day safe days after waiting 4 days post peak. Thyroid has been corrected and still the same problems. Now I spot one day, slippery the next, will have 2 dry days, there is no pattern now…

 

[1inICXC]

I conceived at least twice in phase one, don’t know about the first pregnancy as I wasn’t charting, so that’s out for us as we need to space our 4th child a bit. That leave us about 8 days of phase 3 and for us that’s HEAVEN!!!

We had several periods of LOOOOOOOOOONG abstinence so having several days a month for us is amazing and we sure make each of them count. As a matter of fact, both DH and I would take the 8 days of mind blowing love making over the every day routine - type love making any day!!! The excitement and anticipation leading up to that period is part of the fun too, although sometimes it can also be frustrating.

 

[SusanneT]

I conceived at least twice in phase one, don’t know about the first pregnancy as I wasn’t charting, so that’s out for us as we need to space our 4th child a bit. That leave us about 8 days of phase 3 and for us that’s HEAVEN!!!

We had several periods of LOOOOOOOOOONG abstinence so having several days a month for us is amazing and we sure make each of them count. As a matter of fact, both DH and I would take the 8 days of mind blowing love making over the every day routine - type love making any day!!! The excitement and anticipation leading up to that period is part of the fun too, although sometimes it can also be frustrating.

I’m the same - at least twice in phase 1 at the time we wen’t using NFP so it was fine but lesson learnt now we are - especially as my cycle is 2 or 3 days shorter now.

Lucky you with your 8 days of great sex. The idea of looking forward to that time is great. But for us it just doesn’t really work.

 

[JacquesMaritain]

Originally Posted by 1inICXC View Post
I conceived at least twice in phase one, don’t know about the first pregnancy as I wasn’t charting, so that’s out for us as we need to space our 4th child a bit. That leave us about 8 days of phase 3 and for us that’s HEAVEN!!!

I’m the same - at least twice in phase 1 at the time we wen’t using NFP so it was fine but lesson learnt now we are - especially as my cycle is 2 or 3 days shorter now.

Lucky you with your 8 days of great sex. The idea of looking forward to that time is great. But for us it just doesn’t really work.

Hi Everyone:

I hope you don’t mind my saying here, that I’m sure that sometimes NFP is a tribulation. Maybe you cant always do what you want to, maybe you have to practice self-denial. But it is what God has in mind for us, really it is what He intended us to follow.

I wish I could tell you all how lucky you are, and how envious I sometimes feel. I suppose the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence (well, I tell myself that, anyway).

God bless you all.

Jacques

 

[SusanneT]

Thank you Jacques - may I say that however difficult we find it to practise NFP and whatever the problems it causes we do realise how very lucky we are to have a family.

We also accept the difficulties because we believe that it is the only option in terms of ‘family planning’. But although it does inevitably involve self sacrifice - I don’t think it’s wrong to seek the best possible way to practice it or advice on how to minimise the difficulties.

 

[Em_in_FL]

I have a 24-26 day cycle, its pretty regular and I’m pretty sure from experience (before using NFP) that any time before ovulation just isn’t safe so that really only leaves about a week absolute max 10 days. I’m interested to know how many safe days most couples have and how they cope with periodic abstinance for that long over a prelonged period.

You may want to consider finding ways to lengthen your luteal phase… thus giving you a longer window…
I haven’t personally read this book, but I’ve heard it’s wonderful… may be worth checking out!
amazon.com/Fertility-Cycles-Nutrition-Marilyn-Shannon/dp/0926412094/ref=cm_cr_pr_product_top

 

[Kathrin35]

I only have 2-4 safe days, I really hate NFP too.

 

[Robert789]

Noooo!!

I’m a 21 year old single virgin catholic. I have to admit, i’m looking forward with much eagerness to get married eventually - but things dont sound to be anywhere near as good as i hoped :’(

I was hoping that nfp may have caused you to abstain for one week in four or something. But it sounds to be a lot more than that. Oh God, help me to learn to control that monster of a sex drive - cause this is gonna kill me!! Haha.

Nothing’s easy with the chruch regarding sex - but thats a good indication that its right!! Jesus strengthen us!!!

P.s. Yes ladies, i imagine that it’s genuinely UNBELIEVABLY difficult for your husbands. But dont feel guilty - it’s not your fault! Your husbands love you!! just try to comfort them as best you can.

Tbh, i cant blame them for finishing early either! Theyve had all this tension pent up inside them…and theyre just soooo badly longing to unite with you!! Half the excitement is in the mind!! can you’s not just stick it in straight after and have another go??

Forgive me for my ignorance…i dont have a clue to be honest. Just longing to get married and have sex (the catholic way)

 

[JackieMom]

I bleed for about 7-8 days. I don’t like having sex during the first few heavy flow days, so we have no available days in phase one. We have about 8 days in phase three. So, 8 days total - but if we did not take any days off for menstruation we’d have more like 10-12.

It’s not fun, and to think about doing it for another 20 years is daunting, but we don’t really have a choice : ) If we threw caution to the wind as one poster suggested, I’d be pregnant the first cycle which would mean even less sex for us (I get hyperemesis with my pregnancies.) The hardest part for me is seeing how rough this all is on my husband, who asks for so little and works so hard. Many days I just wish I could give him what he wants. Hang in there, everyone!

 

[RedSparklyShoes]

If I count the days I bleed, I have about 7-8 safe days pre-ovulation, but we don’t like sex while I’m bleeding, so about 3-4 depending on how long that lasts. After ovulation, about 9 days I think, depends on the month.

We both seem to be happy with 2-3 times a week for sex, so there aren’t too too many times when we have to abstain when we really want it. Before we were married, we thought we’d want it 2-3 times a DAY based on how we felt before marriage, but now that we’re married, and can satisfy that urge, my sex drive is not what I thought it was. But that’s okay. I like what I’ve got.

 

[Robert789]

I thought nfp involved for example 3 weeks of NOTHING then one week of sex etc…

Because i’m apparently crammed with raging hormones at this stage of my life, a 3 week wait seemed like ETERNITY - like seriously!!

But someone’s mentioned 2-3 times a week? I think i could live with that when my body begins to wise up and cool off a bit. I think as long as the month is broken up into segments then it should be a lot easier than long abstenance periods.

Have i picked that up right???

Sorry for my ignorance, we learned NOTHING of this (or the workings of women) at my all boys school and i’m just curious. You’d be shocked at how little i know haha!- but i want to lead a truely catholic marriage some day so i’ll have to learn some day

 

[mommamaree]

Phase 1: 6 days
Phase 3: 8-10 days

For a total of 14 to 16 days.

 

[Slowride]

I have a 24-26 day cycle, its pretty regular and I’m pretty sure from experience (before using NFP) that any time before ovulation just isn’t safe so that really only leaves about a week absolute max 10 days. I’m interested to know how many safe days most couples have and how they cope with periodic abstinance for that long over a prelonged period.

Are you kidding me? This post is as bad as the Tiger Woods post! Who the heck care how your cycles are??? Don’t you have a girlfreind or mom, or somebody else besides posting **** like this!!! COMPLETELY out of ORDER!

 

[Slowride]

I CAN NOT believe the montorators didn’t remove this thread!! How irresponsible!! I am hot over this!!! Get this thread off now!!!

 

[mommamaree]

I thought nfp involved for example 3 weeks of NOTHING then one week of sex etc…

Because i’m apparently crammed with raging hormones at this stage of my life, a 3 week wait seemed like ETERNITY - like seriously!!

But someone’s mentioned 2-3 times a week? I think i could live with that when my body begins to wise up and cool off a bit. I think as long as the month is broken up into segments then it should be a lot easier than long abstenance periods.

Have i picked that up right???

Sorry for my ignorance, we learned NOTHING of this (or the workings of women) at my all boys school and i’m just curious. You’d be shocked at how little i know haha!- but i want to lead a truely catholic marriage some day so i’ll have to learn some day

Once you enter marriage and are able to enjoy the marital embrace, while your libido might still be quite high, it should be less intrusive. You are able to look forward to the next encounter, rather than struggle with an overwhelming unmet desire as in your single life.
Early in our marriage, frequency was higher, about every other day. After kids, frequency decreased due to physical exhaustion. But 2-3 times a week, sometimes more if we are taking advantage of an infertile time with Phase 2 and abstinence looming. Every couple is different, but quieting concupescence is part of the beauty of chaste marital relations. When you go through PreCana, pay attention during your NFP classes. Your wife will thank you! My husband remembers far more of the NFP rules than I do. I just tell him my temp and my fertility signs, and he charts and tells me when we are on safe days.