NFP is killing my marriage...help!

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May the good Lord bless you with children,
and your marriage prosper!

:blessyou:
 
What the OP is describing as to his wife’s cycles is NOT NORMAL. Kudos to the surprisingly very few of you who suggest that she be checked out by a doctor. THANK YOU!

The fact that there is apparently something medically wrong should be more than enough reason to avoid pregnancy at this time. I’m very saddened that a group who is allegedly “pro life” doesn’t seem to give a flying rat’s patootie about this woman’s health. 😦

(Again, this is excepting those of you who did suggest that she seek medical attention; that should have been the first sentence in everyone’s posts.)

Miz
 
This may not help at all, but here’s one thing to consider. If you, as you should be when you get married in the Catholic church, are open to receiving children from God, then it shouldn’t matter if your wife gets pregnant. If there is a medical condition she has where she absolutely CANNOT get pregnant, then maybe (but don’t quote me) you are allowed to use artificial contraception.

However, if that isn’t the case, and being newlywed, just have a baby! We were married for five months before we conceived our daughter and it is the best thing I’ve ever done. She’s 10 months now and I cannot describe to you the joy she gives me every day. Also, because I breastfeed her, it disrupts my cycles so I am not actually ovulating, so that again is an opportunity to space babies.

We use NFP, my husband and I, and can’t you have sex before the fertile window too? If your wife knows roughly the date she ovulates on, all you need to do is avoid the fertile window. If your wife’s cycles are less than 25 days, she may have a hormonal problem which needs sorting out, probably a too-short luteal phase.
 
bumby said:
This may not help at all, but here’s one thing to consider. If you, as you should be when you get married in the Catholic church, are open to receiving children from God, then it shouldn’t matter if your wife gets pregnant. If there is a medical condition she has where she absolutely CANNOT get pregnant, then maybe (but don’t quote me) you are allowed to use artificial contraception.

However, if that isn’t the case, and being newlywed, just have a baby! We were married for five months before we conceived our daughter and it is the best thing I’ve ever done. She’s 10 months now and I cannot describe to you the joy she gives me every day. Also, because I breastfeed her, it disrupts my cycles so I am not actually ovulating, so that again is an opportunity to space babies.

We use NFP, my husband and I, and can’t you have sex before the fertile window too? If your wife knows roughly the date she ovulates on, all you need to do is avoid the fertile window. If your wife’s cycles are less than 25 days, she may have a hormonal problem which needs sorting out, probably a too-short luteal phase.
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The bolded “don’t quote me” area above is not church teaching.

That said, we can’t know the extent of God’s mercy for everyone of us. We can pray only for guidance.

And for the OP:
I was told that the days from ovulation to start of period is a constant. And most charting for us seem to follow this, well. If the period is inconsistent, then it is can be an issue. Fact is, for some cycles, sex during the period can even result in a conception.

A period can vary, but sometimes in a cyclic way. Like one month may be 5 weeks followed by a 3 week cycle. The key to NFP is to listen to God. Secondarily, the NFP methods can, with time, give a couple great confidence about their bodies.

Sex should never be without concern about pregnancy. To do so reduces the act to “entertainment.” This seriousness is what increases the value of the act of love. It’s a hard concept for some of us to get our heads around, but even I caught on after reading up on TOB.
 
Miserys_Fence said:
The fact that there is apparently something medically wrong should be more than enough reason to avoid pregnancy at this time. I’m very saddened that a group who is allegedly “pro life” doesn’t seem to give a flying rat’s patootie about this woman’s health. 😦

Miz
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That’s very unfair. From the very beginning, posters have been suggesting a full medical evaluation and even giving resources to do so. :mad:
 
Miserys_Fence said:
What the OP is describing as to his wife’s cycles is NOT NORMAL. Kudos to the surprisingly very few of you who suggest that she be checked out by a doctor. THANK YOU!

The fact that there is apparently something medically wrong should be more than enough reason to avoid pregnancy at this time. I’m very saddened that a group who is allegedly “pro life” doesn’t seem to give a flying rat’s patootie about this woman’s health. 😦

(Again, this is excepting those of you who did suggest that she seek medical attention; that should have been the first sentence in everyone’s posts.)

Miz
Click to expand...
A lot of time when two, three, four posters write something I was going to write, I don’t feel it needs to be said again. And again. And again.
 
In regard to seeking medical attention, I would suggest that you contact the Pope Paul VI institute, where NaPro Technology was developed. (www.naprotechnology.com) The doctors using this method (I pray that there will soon be hundreds more!) are able to learn a great deal from your wife’s chart, used in conjunction with a physical evaluation. The information they can give you can also help you if she does indeed have a medical condition that would make conception difficult. I am surprised at how few pro-lifers are aware of NaPro Technology, which is far more effective than in vitro at helping couples conceive.

In the meantime, I hope you do get in touch with a local NFP instructor who can help ensure that you are charting correctly. The chart can only be helpful, naturally, if the method is being correctly applied.
 
Hello,
I do not think that anyone has a right to question your motives for NFP. It is allowed by the church, is between you and your wife, and I would recommend this article: theuniversityconcourse.com/VII,1,4-20-2002/vanSchaijik.htm
As far as your problem is concerned, your wife does not have a longer fertile time than usual. It is always 7 to 10 max. Sperm can live up to 5 days if fertile mucus is present and if she should ovulate twice you allow an extra day after ovulation, plus a buffer day on either end.
It sounds like the creighton model is not right for you two because your wife is probably having continuous egg white mucus. This is common with women who have given birth within the two years previous. I am not a doctor but what my NFP provider and doctor told me, it is because the cervix is irritated.
You have two options, your wife can have silver nitrate dabbed on her cervix (this helped in my case), or you can look into the sympto thermal method (I highly recommend Northwest family services). She may need to start going by temperature, it is way easier and consistent than I thought and I am waking at all hours of the night with two babies.
God luck and God bless you!
 
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