NFP question(s)

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RascalJones

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Currently, my wife and I practice kind of a “guess” the day calendar dating type method, and I think we might be overestimating “fertile” times. We’ve been doing this for about 6 years now, and have a good record, but my wife is going back to school and really wants to not get pregnant right now.

So, on with my questions…

Generally, how many days per normal cycle are fertile/infertile? Are the days of mestruation considered to be in any of those days? (Yes, I know it’s an icky thought, but I’m just curious.)

When you switched to NFP and were using it for the purpose of avoiding pregnancy, did you find yourself having more or less intimate encounters?

I’d like to follow the real methods/indicators more closely, and of course have my wife participate in the planning and execution of the practice. I know the best thing is to take a class, I’m just looking for some supporting information.
 
ccli.org/

Using a temperature crosscheck you can see whether or not the menstrual time is a true period or breakthrough bleeding. So one cannot presume “menstruation” is a safe time. But even with very conservative estimates, my old charts showed that there were up to 17 infertile days a cycle for me.

In a true menstrual cycle, those days can be considered infertile.

What you are doing is the old calendar rythmn, which is or isn’t reliable, depending on the woman. Sometimes outside interference can cause early or delayed ovulation, and that can make it very difficult to determine real times of infertility.
 
If I were you guys I’d look into taking an NFP class as soon as possible. Basically the more cycles you’ve charted, the better your chances of knowing when you are (or aren’t) fertile…and, consequently, the less days of abstinence.

And even before you have the NFP class, I’d start taking your wife’s temperature at a set time every morning and just scribbling it in a notepad. That way when you have more knowledge, you’ll have more background raw data to plug into the charts and give you a better idea of how your wife’s body works.
 
Yeah, I do know a LITTLE from what I’ve read online, and tried to keep that in mind. It’s usually around day 23 or 24 that we feel like we’re “safe enough”. I want to find out if there’s more than that. Sometimes, it feels like waiting that long makes us feel somewhat “separated” from each other, and with the guesswork, we always seem “scared”. I’ve always known we were kind of “risking” things, but we weren’t expecting the lifestyle changes we’ve got going on right now. We want to be more sure.

Thanks for your (name removed by moderator)ut…and to anyone else that continues to provide information.
 
Ya’ll are waiting until day 23 or 24? Trust me, you guys are going to love NFP…🙂
 
RascalJones said:
Generally, how many days per normal cycle are fertile/infertile?
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That question is unique to your wife and her cycle. You cannot compare other people’s experiences. You must chart her cycle and then you will know your number of fertile/infertile days.
RascalJones said:
Are the days of mestruation considered to be in any of those days? (Yes, I know it’s an icky thought, but I’m just curious.)
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Yes
 
You would do well to check out the CCL site there and learn about the Sympto Thermal method. Because there are other physical crosschecks, like cervical position and opening. Once the cervix is closed after ovulation, you are infertile. And there are other signs that you can check with the temps. You may find that once you really know your wife’s signs, you will have about the first 9 days of the cycle, plus the time from post-ovulatory temperature rise to the end of the cycle, which depending on the luteal phase, can be 6 to 14 days. It’s much more reliable than guessing on the calendar. Good luck! 👍

And make sure you get the proper thermometer for this. A regular fever thermometer won’t work. Try here:
automedix.biz/bd_digital_basal_thermometer.html
 
RascalJones said:
Generally, how many days per normal cycle are fertile/infertile? Since literally every cycle is different, I hesitate to answer this question with generalities. Sorry that’s not much help. :o Are the days of mestruation considered to be in any of those days? (Yes, I know it’s an icky thought, but I’m just curious.) Depends on when you ovulate. I know of someone on these boards who typically ovulates on day 7 or 8 of her cycle. In her case, yes, menstruation is a potentially fertile time. If you are trying to avoid pregnancy, these days must always be considered fertile, since you never know ahead of time when you’ll ovulate.

When you switched to NFP and were using it for the purpose of avoiding pregnancy, did you find yourself having more or less intimate encounters? Sorry, I can’t answer this question, either, because my DH and I started off married life practicing NFP, and since we weren’t intimate beforehand, I have nothing to compare it to. 😃

I can tell you, however, that when we abandoned family planning and gave it all to God, the marital embrace was more satisfying for both of us. The increase in frequency, I think, has more to do with my current hormonal status with this pregnancy.

I’d like to follow the real methods/indicators more closely, and of course have my wife participate in the planning and execution of the practice. I know the best thing is to take a class, I’m just looking for some supporting information.
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try www.nfpandmore.com just to read a bit about the Sympto-thermal method of NFP. It’s the cross-checking method and will give you more awareness of your wife’s fertile days. To get a better idea of it www.ccli.org sells you the home study course. You can also contact your diocese to see if there is a couple who teaches NFP close to your home. Most likely you won’t have to wait 23-24 days, and you’ll stop “guessing” and will know when she’s fertile or infertile.
 
I just wanted to agree with all the above posters about seeking true NFP training…
And you will not be disappointed… most likely you will be able to find more days to be intimate while still avoiding conception while it’s necessary…

Good luck!
 
kevinsgirl said:
Ya’ll are waiting until day 23 or 24? Trust me, you guys are going to love NFP…🙂
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I told you I thought we were being TOO careful…

Thanks to all for your answers. I don’t know if I’ll be able to talk my wife into going to a class, some things she’s not comfortable talking about with other people. Is the home-study course (and, of course, following what it tells us to do) enough to become really good practicioners?
 
RascalJones said:
I told you I thought we were being TOO careful…

Thanks to all for your answers. I don’t know if I’ll be able to talk my wife into going to a class, some things she’s not comfortable talking about with other people. Is the home-study course (and, of course, following what it tells us to do) enough to become really good practicioners?
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In the class she doesn’t have to share any personal information unless she wants to. My class was very lecture based, with power point presentations, etc. The students asked questions when necessary. The teachers are very respectful in that they don’t ask you personal questions. If she does want to speak privately to them, they should be willing to accomodate that request.

About the home study course, that really depends on you and how you learn/asorb information. For me, I have to hear information for it to stick, whereas just reading information from a book, I asorb maybe 10-15%.
 
ccli.org used to have their Daily Observation Charts available for download. I do not see that on their site now. Does anyone have a link?
 
I found another site that does…

irh.org/resources-SymptothermalMethod.htm

Anyway, I just spoke with my wife and she agrees that it’s something we REALLY need to look into, she wants to do the at-home version, and if it’s not getting through to us then to contact someone.
 
If it helps, I just got the home study course last week. I’ve just begun to teach myself NFP – my Husband To Be and I decided that it may be better for us to learn about NFP before we’re married, rather than afterwards (thinking that the excitement/stress about the wedding may make cycles odd 😊).

Since there are no relations going on, can’t really tell you about frequency of intimate encounters … but I can vouch that the home study kit is quite impressive in terms of information provided, the fact that I have access to counselors via email and phone, and the book is easy to read and understand.
 
webwomb.com/monthlycycle.htm
Or
ovusoft.com/products/
These sites give some interesting information where your wife can click and learn and get a basic sense of this method. You can also order their online interactive charting systems here, which if you like bells and whistles, these seem interesting.

Good luck!
 
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