NFP Question

[TheHolyTrinity9]

I’m gonna make a scenario here and just want to hear people’s views on how to tackle this issue.

Two Catholics living in accordance with canon law are getting married in let’s say 4 months and are wanting to practice NFP since they don’t have the economic situation to foster a child at this point in time. In four months time the couple will be married and going on their honeymoon, planning to consummate the marriage then. However they need to pre book it in advance and want to use NFP during their honeymoon. Is there any way to find the fertile and infertile periods four months into the future for their honeymoon?

 

[pensmama87]

No, because environmental factors can affect fertility. Nothing like wedding stress to mess with ovulation.

Book the honeymoon anyway, and discuss what you will do. We intended on postponing kids, then I was fertile, and we decided to chance it (and we have a five year old). But even if we didn’t, our honeymoon would have been lots of fun.

I’d also warn the engaged couple that sex is a learned art, and to not expect to spend all their time in bed. Sometimes there’s troubleshooting to be done, and that’s okay. Don’t put too much performance anxiety on yourself or your spouse.

 

[SusanneT]

Would I be over zealous in saying that if the couple do not feel ready to accept children for whatever reason that they might think about delaying the wedding until their circumstances are such that the can ?

 

[Xantippe]

Would I be over zealous in saying that if the couple do not feel ready to accept children for whatever reason that they might think about delaying the wedding until their circumstances are such that the can ?

Why yes, I think you might be overzealous.

That might be prudent advice (there are a lot of beginner NFP babies), but it’s not morally obligatory.

Also, practically speaking, if they ever have really dire circumstances for practicing NFP (and it’s really a question of “when” rather than “if”), it will be helpful to have had practice under non-life-and-death circumstances.

NFP is not easy to learn and it is unwise to expect to be able to learn it effectively during a crisis. And it is particularly difficult postpartum and during breastfeeding or pre-menopause. So better to figure it out in a low-stress, low-stakes situation where there isn’t huge temptation to use contraception and sterilization instead.

Also, for their future reference, it’s helpful to know how well NFP works for this particular couple. If it doesn’t work at all for them, that’s worth knowing NOW.

Best wishes, OP!

 

[1ke]

Is there any way to find the fertile and infertile periods four months into the future for their honeymoon?

Nope.

Make the plans, and don’t worry about it. If you are in a period where you need to abstain, then you abstain.

 

[UbiCaritas]

Nope.

Make the plans, and don’t worry about it. If you are in a period where you need to abstain, then you abstain.

Agreed.

Also, make sure that your honeymoon is geared towards doing something fun besides ahem marital activities. Even if it is a time when you don’t need to abstain, you simply aren’t going to spend a full week doing nothing but that. DH and I, for example, planned a hiking/sightseeing/skiing trip for our honeymoon. We didn’t need to avoid babies at that point, but if we had, we’d have had plenty to keep us busy, happy, and distracted–not to mention tired at the end of the day!

 

[Mary_Gail_36]

I’m gonna make a scenario here and just want to hear people’s views on how to tackle this issue.

Two Catholics living in accordance with canon law are getting married in let’s say 4 months and are wanting to practice NFP since they don’t have the economic situation to foster a child at this point in time. In four months time the couple will be married and going on their honeymoon, planning to consummate the marriage then. However they need to pre book it in advance and want to use NFP during their honeymoon. Is there any way to find the fertile and infertile periods four months into the future for their honeymoon?

No. And wedding stress can throw off the most regular cycle.

I would advise to go on the honeymoon anyway, and see what happens.

 

[Mary_Gail_36]

Would I be over zealous in saying that if the couple do not feel ready to accept children for whatever reason that they might think about delaying the wedding until their circumstances are such that the can ?

I don’t see that they won’t accept children. I see that they aren’t going to be trying to conceive.

NFP is avoiding sex, by avoiding sex the couple avoids pregnancy.

 

[PatrickSebast]

Would I be over zealous in saying that if the couple do not feel ready to accept children for whatever reason that they might think about delaying the wedding until their circumstances are such that the can ?

Considering that time spent in marriage is likely to increase their economic stability (shared bills, chores, healthcare benefits, etc) this wouldn’t just be over zealous, but somewhat narrowly scoped advice.

 

[Dandelion_Wine]

I would suggest they learn about NFP and start charting (or whatever their method calls for) NOW.

One could guess about a future cycle based on the present cycle - but I concur, the stress of a wedding might throw everything off kilter.

TMI warning

As life would have it, my wife started her menses during our gift opening. So we started our honeymoon without the marital act. While the marital act is a bonus, that’s not why we married one another and enjoyed our honeymoon immensely.

 

[Hoosier_Daddy]

I’m gonna make a scenario here and just want to hear people’s views on how to tackle this issue.

Two Catholics living in accordance with canon law are getting married in let’s say 4 months and are wanting to practice NFP since they don’t have the economic situation to foster a child at this point in time. In four months time the couple will be married and going on their honeymoon, planning to consummate the marriage then. However they need to pre book it in advance and want to use NFP during their honeymoon. Is there any way to find the fertile and infertile periods four months into the future for their honeymoon?

1. In your hypothetical, there are several issues.
   It is certainly a first world problem when a couple says they can’t financially have kids but are pre booking a honeymoon. One can assume for western civ Catholics that this includes a wedding in the thousands or ten thousands. College and career paths etc.

Personally though I don’t think it mortally sinful, I think a couple is acting selfishly and materialisticly in having this issue. In a perfect world they would understand marriage and procreation and have these priorities given in a holy frame.

1. This issue is one that I think the nfp movement struggles with. In logical moral theology you can’t have different rules for the rich and the poor. Take a young poor couple from povertystan they just want to get married and have a child and live and love. Why does thier wedding night and the one in your hypothetical have to exist in seperate moral realms of the church.

The money spent on the prebooked honeymoon could feed an entire family for years in povertystan.

Nfp has a real issue here.

 

[Xantippe]

1. In your hypothetical, there are several issues.
   **It is certainly a first world problem when a couple says they can’t financially have kids but are pre booking a honeymoon. ** One can assume for western civ Catholics that this includes a wedding in the thousands or ten thousands. College and career paths etc.

Personally though I don’t think it mortally sinful, I think a couple is acting selfishly and materialisticly in having this issue. In a perfect world they would understand marriage and procreation and have these priorities given in a holy frame.

1. This issue is one that I think the nfp movement struggles with. In logical moral theology you can’t have different rules for the rich and the poor. Take a young poor couple from povertystan they just want to get married and have a child and live and love. Why does thier wedding night and the one in your hypothetical have to exist in seperate moral realms of the church.

The money spent on the prebooked honeymoon could feed an entire family for years in povertystan.

Nfp has a real issue here.

Not really. You’re making a lot of assumptions about the cost. It could be 2-3 nights away within driving distance–it could easily be in the $500-$1,000 range.

Also, even if it were a $5,000 honeymoon (which is unlikely for a struggling young couple), that amount is quite likely dwarfed by the cost to the couple of losing one income for several years if they had a SAHP.

 

[pianistclare]

To the OP:
Charting can be done in advance. Yes. See a Dr. For advice.
Your reasons are your own.

 

[Xantippe]

1. This issue is one that I think the nfp movement struggles with. In logical moral theology you can’t have different rules for the rich and the poor. Take a young poor couple from povertystan they just want to get married and have a child and live and love. Why does thier wedding night and the one in your hypothetical have to exist in seperate moral realms of the church.

**The money spent on the prebooked honeymoon could feed an entire family for years in povertystan. **

Nfp has a real issue here.

Some more issues:

1. There aren’t “different rules for the rich and the poor.” Either couple is free to abstain or not abstain.
2. Cost of living is different in different places.
3. In traditional cultures, people often spend vast sums on weddings.