NFP...Serious enough reason?

[Convert_in_99]

We are new to NFP. We never in our life thought we’d use it, but alas, sadly, here we are. I say sadly because we have welcomed children as God sent them for 8 years now. We had no idea that would mean only one sweet angel (now in heaven) that we lost in January of this year. We were previously infertile until this miracle!

A bit of background is that I have severe mental health issues. They go up and down in severity and functionality, but since the miscarriage in January, I have been steadily worse. My grief, as well as my husband’s has been very intense as this was our one and only child so far. On top of it, my husband says its all he can handle helping and taking care of me and my mental health issues. We are taking a Billings Method class through our diocese.

I have been told by a holy priest that my mental health issues alone are enough of a reason to use NFP. However, considering we have no living children, are we not doing our marital duty in being fruitful and multiplying by at least being open to another blessing should God will it. Not through contraception!..but through careful use of NFP.

And how long can we use NFP, for the rest of our reproductive lives if these conditions persist? Is that wrong since we have no living children?

 

[EasterJoy]

You are talking about abstinence, not sterilization. Make your decision for your situation now: that is, knowing what resources you have now and, if you two decide, realizing that you may never be more fertile than you are now. If you are avoiding because of mental health issues, then be diligent about addressing those mental health issues (something you would do whether or not you were married).

Do not extrapolate this decision out for the rest of your life. It is certainly unlikely that your grief will continue at its present intensity for the rest of your life. The decision can and ought to be revisited on an ongoing basis. One day at a time is a much more sane way to live.

 

[Allegra]

I concur with Easterjoy. Take it as it comes.

 

[CatholicRaven]

First, I am so sorry for your loss. My heart goes out to you.

And how long can we use NFP, for the rest of our reproductive lives if these conditions persist? Is that wrong since we have no living children?

No, it is not wrong, and yes, you can use NFP for as long as you have serious reason to do so, even if that happens to mean avoiding pregnancy through the rest of your reproductive lives (though I wouldn’t assume that it will happen that way, I realize that it could).

Through NFP, you are still being open to life and open to God’s Will, which is what we, as married couples, are called to do. So I’m not sure what you meant by, “However, considering we have no living children, are we not doing our marital duty…” If you mean are married couples called to have as many children as physically possible, then no; that would be taking the verse out of context.

EasterJoy said it well. Take it a day at a time. We don’t know what the future holds.

Will for you.

 

[underacloud]

Your miscarriage was only back in January. That is not long ago, and the miscarriage of your only child must be very hard. So please be gentle with yourself and not worry about the future for now.

Your priest has already told you that you have just reasons to use NFP. So use NFP and make sure you get the appropriate help with your mental health. If you mental health improves, then you and you husband can reevaluate your circumstances, but worry about that later.

God bless.

 

[runningdude]

We are new to NFP. We never in our life thought we’d use it, but alas, sadly, here we are. I say sadly because we have welcomed children as God sent them for 8 years now. We had no idea that would mean only one sweet angel (now in heaven) that we lost in January of this year. We were previously infertile until this miracle!

I am so sorry for your loss

A bit of background is that I have severe mental health issues. …

I have been told by a holy priest that my mental health issues alone are enough of a reason to use NFP. However, considering we have no living children, are we not doing our marital duty in being fruitful and multiplying by at least being open to another blessing should God will it. Not through contraception!..but through careful use of NFP. …

Your priest is the one to speak to regarding this issue. He knows you, your husband, and your lost child better than any of us here.

 

[manualman]

NFP need not be a permanent, right now decision. Go ahead and use it for this month. Take it month by month. Don’t let people tell you you need to have the rest of your life planned out today.

That’s the beauty of NFP: it maintains the body/soul feedback and self regulating mechanisms God built into human sexuality. If your reasons aren’t serious, that will become clear to you over time. For now, you have a plenty serious reason for this month.

God bless you and give you the Grace to go on.