NFP Using Couples: Days of Abstinence Poll

[Good_Daughter]

That’s what I thought I could do until my intro session last month. They told me absolutely no internal cks… but I still do temps and I also do OPKs. It’s sad I cannot do internal cks because they are very helpful in determining when I am to ovulate, but I need CrMS for fertility issues. So, I have to abide by the rules

I recently started doing internal checks and, despite my initial squeamishness, I was surprised at how quickly I “needed” that information to feel like I’d done a thorough cross check. I feel for you having to give it up. Hopefully it will be well worth it in the long run!

I’ve been doing NFP for a while now, and I feel silly having to ask, but what are OPKs?

 

[Tinajo]

Hi - congratulations on your forthcoming marriage!

This is my first post on these forums, having been hanging around browsing for a while but I finally feel I have something specific to offer.

I got married almost 3 months ago (hurray!), similarly intending to avoid pregnancy originally, having been charting using the Billings method for a few months to get used to how it all worked. My husband and I were originally disappointed with a month or so to go to find that we were going to be fertile on the wedding day.

However, we talked about it and agreed that whether or not we had sex on the wedding night simply was not that important when compared to the rest of our lives together and we ended up waiting until pretty much the end of our 3 week honeymoon before consummating our marriage. [It was, however, slightly odd to go to mass the morning after the wedding, knowing that everyone probably thought we’d consummated the night before!]

But while it was quite difficult to wait (after waiting so long!) it didn’t in any way diminish how special the honeymoon was - we moved in together and spent 3 weeks focusing completely on each other, on what had changed between us when we got married, on how we were feeling apprehensive about having sex for the first time. Just lots and lots of real talking which made us really really close

I hope that’s helpful, anyway - I know you didn’t really ask for other people’s experiences, but I just wanted to let you know that abstaining on the honeymoon doesn’t spoil anything!

In terms of my answer to the poll, I plumped for the 3rd option as when I added it all up it probably works out about 15-18 days on average (I was actually surprised to find it was that long!). My cycles are usually about 28 days long and using the Billings method we usually have 3-6 days ‘unavailable’ for lovemaking during my period, then a few ‘available’, then 10-14 days ‘unavailable’ while I’m fertile before about 7 days of infertility before my next period. So we usually have more days of abstaining than not at the moment, but we’re enjoying it when we can

 

[yessisan]

I recently started doing internal checks and, despite my initial squeamishness, I was surprised at how quickly I “needed” that information to feel like I’d done a thorough cross check. I feel for you having to give it up. Hopefully it will be well worth it in the long run!

I’ve been doing NFP for a while now, and I feel silly having to ask, but what are OPKs?

Don’t you just love the cross checking? I don’t know how I’m going to do w/o those signs…

anywho, OPKs are ovulation predictor kits. They are just like HPTs but they detect the LH hormone surge and you usually ovulate w/in 12-36 hrs after a positive.

 

[Rach620]

Thanks for all the posts–it’s great to hear from people and to see how this poll is turning out. I’m looking forward to hearing more!

Thanks for the reassurance Rach! I’m just a bit confused because internally is when I would find my fertile CM. I could never rely on external CM observations… and I cheated yesterday, I did an internal ck and I had very fertile CM (stretchy, clear and lubricative) and externally it was sticky and gummy

Yessi, I know what you’re saying, but I think it’s important to keep in mind that the CrMS was standardized based on what is observable on the tissue. My instructor has told me again and again that the other checks which are used in the other methods aren’t wrong, but they just aren’t part of the CrMS. You could actually be confusing your Creighton observations by adding in the others. In the end, though, I think it is important to talk to your FCP about all of your concerns. Maybe they can tell you more about how CrMS has helped infertile couples in the past and soothe your concerns with it all.

 

[yessisan]

Hi Rach, actually today I am very happy with CrMS since I was able to find 10kl CM!!! And the OPKs confirm I’m about to ovulate so I guess I can just give it a try w/o “cheating”

Can I ask you something? Are you using the yellow stickers yet? How many white baby stickers are you using during the fertile period? So far I’ve had too many compared to the 6 days of phase 2 in STM…

 

[Rach620]

Hi - congratulations on your forthcoming marriage!

This is my first post on these forums, having been hanging around browsing for a while but I finally feel I have something specific to offer.

I got married almost 3 months ago (hurray!), similarly intending to avoid pregnancy originally, having been charting using the Billings method for a few months to get used to how it all worked. My husband and I were originally disappointed with a month or so to go to find that we were going to be fertile on the wedding day.

However, we talked about it and agreed that whether or not we had sex on the wedding night simply was not that important when compared to the rest of our lives together and we ended up waiting until pretty much the end of our 3 week honeymoon before consummating our marriage. [It was, however, slightly odd to go to mass the morning after the wedding, knowing that everyone probably thought we’d consummated the night before!]

But while it was quite difficult to wait (after waiting so long!) it didn’t in any way diminish how special the honeymoon was - we moved in together and spent 3 weeks focusing completely on each other, on what had changed between us when we got married, on how we were feeling apprehensive about having sex for the first time. Just lots and lots of real talking which made us really really close

I hope that’s helpful, anyway - I know you didn’t really ask for other people’s experiences, but I just wanted to let you know that abstaining on the honeymoon doesn’t spoil anything!

In terms of my answer to the poll, I plumped for the 3rd option as when I added it all up it probably works out about 15-18 days on average (I was actually surprised to find it was that long!). My cycles are usually about 28 days long and using the Billings method we usually have 3-6 days ‘unavailable’ for lovemaking during my period, then a few ‘available’, then 10-14 days ‘unavailable’ while I’m fertile before about 7 days of infertility before my next period. So we usually have more days of abstaining than not at the moment, but we’re enjoying it when we can

Tinajo,

Thank you SO much for sharing your experience! I know I didn’t ask for it, but it’s so helpful to hear different perspectives

My fiance and I have been talking about the honeymoon a lot, and I think that God is gently opening us up to His will. For so long (we’ve been engaged for a year and a half) we have imagined our wedding night and honeymoon in a certain way, and it was sort of hard for the reality of NFP to hit. But now we are realizing that this is a lesson we are supposed to learn as married people, and that we should trust that it is God’s will for our marriage and will be good for us. The best things in life require sacrifices, don’t they?

It’s really still up in the air as to how my cycle will be at the beginning of our marriage. We’ll cross that bridge when we come to it…but for now it is good to hear your reassuring words! We have been talking about just how wonderful it will be to just be married and to make our life together…the rest can come when the time is right.

God bless you and your new husband!

 

[Rach620]

Hi Rach, actually today I am very happy with CrMS since I was able to find 10kl CM!!! And the OPKs confirm I’m about to ovulate so I guess I can just give it a try w/o “cheating”

Can I ask you something? Are you using the yellow stickers yet? How many white baby stickers are you using during the fertile period? So far I’ve had too many compared to the 6 days of phase 2 in STM…

Glad to hear it. Just trust the method, yessi!

I don’t want to go into the realm of medical advice (I’m not sure how those rules exactly work on this forum), but yes, I am using yellow stickers. My instructor said that I had to wait until 3 full cycles of charting w/o them before starting them, so I’ve been using them for awhile now to chart post-peak non-peak type CM. I’d have to go check my chart for the number of white baby stickers I use in a given cycle…it’s a lot, though. FAR outnumbers my green stickers! I want to say something like 15/cycle…

 

[reganq]

Glad to hear it. Just trust the method, yessi!

I don’t want to go into the realm of medical advice (I’m not sure how those rules exactly work on this forum), but yes, I am using yellow stickers. My instructor said that I had to wait until 3 full cycles of charting w/o them before starting them, so I’ve been using them for awhile now to chart post-peak non-peak type CM. I’d have to go check my chart for the number of white baby stickers I use in a given cycle…it’s a lot, though. FAR outnumbers my green stickers! I want to say something like 15/cycle…

I remember yellow stamp instruction days. When I had to use them, I was ALL yellow except for the white babies, of course. Even then, I went straight into yellow babies.

Needless to say, when I started seeing green stickers on my chart again, I did a happy dance! :dancing:

 

[Rach620]

Needless to say, when I started seeing green stickers on my chart again, I did a happy dance! :dancing:

LOL, my poor green stickers are so under-used that I do a happy dance every time one goes on my chart! I know exactly what you mean…and I’m not even married yet!

 

[Tinajo]

Tinajo,

Thank you SO much for sharing your experience! I know I didn’t ask for it, but it’s so helpful to hear different perspectives

Phew - I’m off the hook Thanks for the reassurance - I’m glad you found it helpful.

For so long (we’ve been engaged for a year and a half) we have imagined our wedding night and honeymoon in a certain way, and it was sort of hard for the reality of NFP to hit. The best things in life require sacrifices, don’t they?

Indeed they do, and all that thinking and imagining you did for the wedding night - well, I don’t see why you can’t just move those plans to apply to another night!

We have been talking about just how wonderful it will be to just be married and to make our life together…the rest can come when the time is right.

That’s exactly how we felt - it was the start of our new life together, which we’re very much enjoying