NFP: what would change hearts?

[ManOnFire]

Absence (Abstinence) and Anticipation make the heart grow fonder. Most people want what feels good. Sell the positive. Tell them they can have “Honeymoon Sex” every month, even after years of marriage. Life is long. Lets pace ourselves, people.

 

[Incomplete]

Maybe I should ask this:
If you have “converted” to NFP (from either not caring or from other choices in family planning), what brought about that change of attitude and of heart? What did you read or hear that made logical and/or spiritual sense?

At one time I had the opinion that there was no real difference morally between NFP and ABC. I didn’t really explore church teachings; I just held that opinion. So for starters, understanding what a loving sexual relationship really asks of us might help some people understand.

My “conversion” was an act of God. Part of it I can’t really get into (it betrays another’s confidence if I do) but it started with a conversation that happened before Mass. It was a discussion with somebody who had used the old rhythm method and wished he hadn’t, though they only had one “accident”.

I had no problems at that time with ABC, so I understood.

I went to Mass that day (I go daily…and yes, I did even using ABC, and yes, I received Eucharist. As silly as this sounds, I had no idea it was considered a mortal sin, I only know that the Church was “against” ABC. I wouldn’t have believed the Church even if I had known the teaching. But I have changed a great deal since then. Daily Mass is a wonderful thing. And yes, I have been to confession since that time. But I bring it up because I suspect it was no coincidence that Mass was the center of all of this.)

Anyway, back to the story…

On the way home, I was thinking about that conversation. I was realizing, if my parents had not been faithful to Church teachings, I would not be here.

And that means my wonderful, wonderful daughter would not exist.

I cried. Then I thought about her potential children, and theirs, and realized that children my husband and I had not conceived meant future generations not conceived.

I prayed, and because I was scared, I argued with God about it. My husband, relatively new to the faith and obviously also having no problems with ABC, I knew he would not take kindly to a change.

So I finally told God, “Ok, I’ll do it, but YOU will have to take care of changing my husband’s mind. And I’m not gonna lift a finger to help.”

(Yes, I know how bad all of that sounds, but I was pretty emotional, and I’ll say it again, I was scared.)

Within 24 hours he brought it up himself. We ended ABC that day.

I know you can’t use most of this, but do consider…when we, without good reason, decide against children, we are deciding against future generations as well.

 

[aloe]

What first got my attention were the direct health benefits. Using ABC, especially over years without end really comes with a lot of significant health risks which are never really talked about much. Researching that really opened my eyes. To get to know my body was really empowering, I wondered how I missed learning all of that before. The moral part of it I learned in a book and it really opened my eyes compare.ebay.com/like/230731388282?var=lv&ltyp=AllFixedPriceItemTypes&var=sbar

I was also impressed to learn how well it can work when the couple is both fully committed. People complain about the rhythm method but NFP is not that method. At all.

And then I started to think even more, thank God my parents didn’t rely on ABC the whole time. If they did I might not have one of my favorite people on the planet as that particular child was not “planned” but that child turned out to be exactly what our family needed. And not only did that child make their life better, and my life better, but kids dh and I have benefit too. That child is an amazing adult person now and will be a fantastic parent and makes a positive and empowering difference in many children’s lives every single day.
The implications of our choices are far reaching and impact more than just a generation or two. I started to wonder if such big decisions like that are best left up to God or at the very least should be prayed about a lot and not taken lightly.

 

[Eowyn86]

I’m a NFP “convert.” What changed my heart was learning what it means to be in a Catholic marriage. To learn that Catholic marriages are open to life, and are about mutual self-giving rather than mutual taking. The church’s teaching on sexuality within a marriage is very beautiful. When I changed from my contraceptive mentality to viewing my marriage within what the Church requires of married couples, I gained a joy that I never imagined was possible.

I would make sure to explain to these new couples what it really means to be in a Catholic marriage. It’s not just a contract. Love isn’t a feeling. Love is what we do. We are called to always act lovingly, even when we don’t feel like it.