NFP with a contraceptive mentality?

[Jen7]

So I’m reading Bishop Schneider’s new book & he talks about using NFP with a contraceptive mentality. Can someone explain? I don’t see that as possible. He cited selfishness several times. But do people really abstain from marital relations for long periods of time just so they can do something unnecessary like buy a yacht or go on a fancy vacation? Maybe I’m misunderstanding him?? I’m my experience we don’t enjoy abstaining & are frequently re-evaluating if we REALLY need to skip the fertile time. For us, NFP encourages us to stretch ourselves to be more generous. I have a hard time seeing someone being able to chastely skip marital union for long periods for some reason that ISNT serious…

 

[Jen7]

Yes. There are some out there, but more likely it’s because they feel their family is complete with 2 children and they enjoy the life they have without realizing that God may be calling them to have more children. That is what a contraceptive mindset is. While most wouldn’t be saving for an expensive yacht or a 3 month long trip around the world, they get caught up in their middle or upper-middle class lives and aren’t comfortable considering room for another child or two. But, they strive to be good Catholics otherwise and hence, use NFP with the contraceptive mindset. To them, they either don’t understand the reasons behind NFP or they are justifying any changes to their present lifestyle as serious reasons . I bolded that, because “serious” reasons are to be discerned as the reason for using NFP, not “grave reasons” as some like to think and then quote on CAF. And as a reminder, what is serious for one couple may not be for another. That’s why reasons must be decided between the couple, with prayer and possible guidance from their priest, but not by others making a determination for them based on their own beliefs or own circumstances

Thank you for explaining this to me. I guess I’m just surprised a couple would abstain during all fertile phases for years and years just to maintain a certain lifestyle. I have to think MOST couples usingNFP have truly serious reasons to do so, though. NFP isn’t exactly easy.

 

[IdaCatholic]

I used nfp with a contraceptive mentality. And some of our friends have used it because of a future vacation. It can happen. But we can only decide for ourselves. So it shouldnt matter that you dont understand how it could be, I guess that means you cant fathom using it with a “contraception mentality.” It is contraception. It is licit to use. You have to form your own conscious on how you use it.

 

[Jen7]

Thank you. I appreciate these replies. I was sad when I read bishop Schneider’s remarks about it, but it is good to understand what he may have meant.

 

[PatK63]

It doesn’t sound like you have a contraceptive mentality!