Nice girls move to the end of the line?

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CountrySinger said:
Granted, this was in Cosmo (so not a Catholic magazine, but I don’t see any religious magazines aimed at single women, wait, what was I talking about?), men prefer blondes because they are rarer than the other hair colors. I’m a dark brunette, and I resent that finding. I get compliments on my hair. 🙂
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I find that eye color is more attractive than hair color. Though I must say the blonde hair & blues eyes combo for guys is not attractive to me (due to a bad experience). I find red heads or rangers as they say in Australia to be much better than blonde dudes. I know that some cultures view blonde’s only as prostitutes made to be used and thrown away, this of course is uncalled for, ignorant and disgusting.
 
:“it does seem that a lot of men would rather get some and put up with being treated badly or used rather then dating a nice girl or person who would treat them better.”

I think you already know how men are. They will put up with a lot, in order to “get some.”
 
Sierrah said:
This is sort of a sequel to the nice guys finish last thread. I’m not venting or complaining really just going by what I see and lately it does seem that a lot of men would rather get some and put up with being treated badly or used rather then dating a nice girl or person who would treat them better. Defies logic but there you go! Maybe I just know bad examples. Women let themselves be treated badly too…that I’ll never understand but to each his own. What do you think!
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Begging pardon in advance for jaded tones. Please note this is a relatively emotional post, not a reasoned judgement.

The way I see it, one trait associated with being a nice guy, in the sense of acting nicely, is boringness (no matter your IQ etc.), meaning you end up friend-zoned. You just fail to provide the thrill and mystery. Matters not how handsome, smart, imperious, conquering, whatever else you are, you be nice and considerate, you be a friend, end of story. Including with women you’d call nice girls. That or you don’t have the opportunities to pass through defence lines the same way the bad guys do (who won’t care so much about hurting the girl’s feelings, being polite etc.).

I’m no fan of being treated badly, let me assure you. To no end have I heard what smart a match or hot item I supposedly am (to my utter amazement at times, even though I’m not your iconic humble person to say the least), I’ve pulled off stuff like happens only in movies (sometimes without active participation), but I still end up being friend-zoned anyway. 🙂 Not enough thrill or mystery or whatever, in the long run. You just don’t beat the rugged dark rebel at the end of the day, no matter what else you do before the day ends.
 
*Here’s a bright spot:)…there is a vast sea of men and women in the world. Some of you act as though you have dated every single person (who is single) on the planet, and the outcome is always negative…or you are friend zoned. You have probably dated .00000000001% of the people (and I’m being conservative with that percentage lol) in your sphere of the world. A few people ‘‘friend zoning’’ you, or not wanting to date you further is not the end of the world. People, come on…don’t analyze so much.

I have often said this…but I’ll repeat it…some of you make dating out to be a very complicated puzzle wherby you think you are responsible for fitting each and every piece together, perfectly. I have a feeling if some of you let yourselves go a bit more, you’d probably not be friend zoned. :o

Sierrah, this comment wasn’t for you. I think that you haven’t met the right guys yet, but for some others…just my two cents. 🤓*
 
chevalier said:
Begging pardon in advance for jaded tones. Please note this is a relatively emotional post, not a reasoned judgement.

The way I see it, one trait associated with being a nice guy, in the sense of acting nicely, is boringness (no matter your IQ etc.), meaning you end up friend-zoned. You just fail to provide the thrill and mystery. Matters not how handsome, smart, imperious, conquering, whatever else you are, you be nice and considerate, you be a friend, end of story. Including with women you’d call nice girls. That or you don’t have the opportunities to pass through defence lines the same way the bad guys do (who won’t care so much about hurting the girl’s feelings, being polite etc.).

I’m no fan of being treated badly, let me assure you. To no end have I heard what smart a match or hot item I supposedly am (to my utter amazement at times, even though I’m not your iconic humble person to say the least), I’ve pulled off stuff like happens only in movies (sometimes without active participation), but I still end up being friend-zoned anyway. 🙂 Not enough thrill or mystery or whatever, in the long run. You just don’t beat the rugged dark rebel at the end of the day, no matter what else you do before the day ends.
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*My dh is dirty blond-ish…blows your theory. ;)😛

That’s the problem with theories surrounding dating…dating is not a science. It’s just a way for two people to see if they would be good together…to forge a relationship. That’s about it. It’s not meant to be dissected like a frog, like I did back in 8th grade. The problem some of you have with dating, is that you treat it like it can be controlled, like an experiment. Let yourselves go and enjoy a little…don’t read into every sentence someone utters…and what must THAT mean…or THIS mean? Be yourself…pray…and know that at the right time, if you are not obsessing…the right situation will happen. I truly believe in praying for your future mate, too. I prayed for God to enligthen me to who He wanted for me to have as a husband…and He did. :o*
 
whatevergirl said:
Here’s a bright spot:)…there is a vast sea of men and women in the world. Some of you act as though you have dated every single person (who is single) on the planet, and the outcome is always negative…or you are friend zoned. You have probably dated .00000000001% of the people (and I’m being conservative with that percentage lol) in your sphere of the world. A few people ‘‘friend zoning’’ you, or not wanting to date you further is not the end of the world. People, come on…don’t analyze so much.
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**
Actually, if you take the number of people times rate of the right gender times rate of your age range, times rate of religiously compatible, times rate of psychologically agreeable, times rate of attractive to you etc. etc., you end up with a number that isn’t too indimidating for a single life time. I think I arrived at 2000 per the whole developed world, not including the factor of being attracted to me in return, the last time I did the calcs. Plus, well, I guess I’ve had like 40 or more failures by now, at 27. It generally does seem to me that being kind and considerate instead of keeping a woman uncertain, not knowing what will happen, unsure of anything, gets you friend-zoned. You just fail to provide the thrill. This is not to whine, though, or to criticise anyone’s preferences, choices etc., but it’s just the impression that certain things generally result in not being attractive or, while being attractive, not being the ultimate choice anyway.
 
whatevergirl said:
*My dh is dirty blond-ish…blows your theory. ;)😛 *
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Different films were on the TV. 😛
That’s the problem with theories surrounding dating…dating is not a science.
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True, but a heckload of soft science applies, not to mention logic (sometimes).
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*
Be yourself…pray…and know that at the right time, if you are not obsessing…the right situation will happen. I truly believe in praying for your future mate, too. I prayed for God to enligthen me to who He wanted for me to have as a husband…and He did. :o
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Let’s skip that one. Don’t wanna sound too jaded. 😉
 
*Seems like your calcs could be way off, chev. lol No way there are only 2000 women in your age range, that you might be compatible with…who are Catholic…in the entire world. I have dated quite a few men…some eh, some great, some bad boys, some nice guys…it took quite a few to stop trying to do it on my own, and then ask God what He wants for me…for my future mate. My husband was a super nice guy, very social, handsome, etc…but doubtful I would have chosen him because he was very conservative. I liked mystery back then, I admit. :cool: I am grateful that I let God do the choosing, though. I get the sense that some of you listen to the modern world’s ‘‘version’’ of romance, dating, and love should ‘‘look’’ and ‘‘seem’’ like instead of tuning into what God wants for you.

Think I’ll bow out for now… :o No one listens to my advice anyways. sigh lol*
 
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chevalier:
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Different films were on the TV. 😛

:confused: *Are you implying something? *
 
whatevergirl said:
That’s the problem with theories surrounding dating…dating is not a science. It’s just a way for two people to see if they would be good together…to forge a relationship. That’s about it. It’s not meant to be dissected like a frog, like I did back in 8th grade. The problem some of you have with dating, is that you treat it like it can be controlled, like an experiment. Let yourselves go and enjoy a little…don’t read into every sentence someone utters…and what must THAT mean…or THIS mean? Be yourself…pray…and know that at the right time, if you are not obsessing…the right situation will happen. I truly believe in praying for your future mate, too. I prayed for God to enligthen me to who He wanted for me to have as a husband…and He did. :o*
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Very well said. I think that is good advice.
 
whatevergirl said:
Seems like your calcs could be way off, chev. lol
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Nah, not really. 😉 Basically, just a couple of factors expressed in fractions can shoot down a large number to really few, e.g. consider that the right age and sex is nowhere near the great total number of people on earth, consider that Catholics are .17 and out of the .17 about .3 are practicing, consider a couple of psychological factors etc. and you really don’t need to be very creative or picky to be left with like 2000 people out of the whole developed world! (In reality, probably a couple times more as people are willing to settle.)
Think I’ll bow out for now… :o No one listens to my advice anyways. sigh lol
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Not true! 😉
 
*Maybe you should consider looking at life on different planets… :rotfl:

Sorry, could not resist. *
 
*I’m sorry that some of you are struggling with certain aspects of dating…😦

I don’t know what else to say…just makes me sad when I read these threads, sometimes…you all seem like worthwhile, devout Catholics. I don’t get it. *
 
whatevergirl said:
*I’m sorry that some of you are struggling with certain aspects of dating…😦

I don’t know what else to say…just makes me sad when I read these threads, sometimes…you all seem like worthwhile, devout Catholics. I don’t get it. *
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Exhibit A: See my signiture. Guys don’t like girls who like Monty Python and rugby. Plus I have what ex-boyfriends call “spunk”, which most guys don’t like in a girlfriend. They like women who will shut up and have sex with them with no strings attached.
 
kelleyclip said:
Do guys really rate girls on hair color? Are blonde’s really that much better? I don’t resent blonde’s or anything, but I’m curious if that’s true.
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This is one of the things I’ve noticed about girls that really confuses me… most of them seem to have picked up the idea that men prefer blondes, but the reality is that the vast majority of men don’t even care about hair color at all. I have no idea where this urban myth first sprang up but the only time I hear it come up is when I overhear women talking amongst themselves “oh, if only I was blond like her!.. etc…”, but it’s really nothing more than a projection. In real life men almost never bring it up themselves when talking about women they’re attracted to, and the few times they do it’s understood just to be an arbitrary personal preference and it’s just as likely to be a preference for different hair colors at it might happen to be for blondes.
 
CountrySinger said:
Exhibit A: See my signiture. Guys don’t like girls who like Monty Python and rugby. Plus I have what ex-boyfriends call “spunk”, which most guys don’t like in a girlfriend. They like women who will shut up and have sex with them with no strings attached.
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Gaaaaa stoppit, stoppit! Any man who is not an idiot will like a girl with spunk. :banghead:

Whatevergirl: you sound suspiciously like you are trying to trick us single ppl into trusting God or something like that. :eek: Not sure if I can go that far…
 
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