No absolution at confession?

[dmp]

I finished RCIA this year and still have lots of questions. I went to confession for the second time yesterday. The priest did not give absolution and did not say anything about being forgiven although he did give a penance and ask me to say the act of contrition. I don’t know if he forgot or if I did something wrong or if I am forgiven or not. None of this makes much sense to me and it is leading to debilitating anxiety for me and I am not sure what to do next.

 

[puzzleannie]

please call the priest, or preferably to back to the same priest in the confessional, and ask him. simply tell him you are new to this sacrament, and wish insttruction, and had expected to hear him say the actual words of absolution. If he did not say them, no, your sins were not absolved. There has to be a reason. Most likely, he recited the formula to himself while you were saying your act of contrition. Another possibility for someone in RCIA is that either there is an ongoing condition that must be remedied before you can be absolved–an invalid marriage for instance. Or you are not yet baptized and went to confession with others in the class who are, and will make your “real” first confession after baptism. You need to talk more with the actual priest who you saw the first time and find out. It is your right to have an answer.

 

[dmp]

thanks for the advice. I went back to the priest in the confessional and sat down face to face with him. I thought he was very defensive but he said he had given me the absolution. That does make me feel better but the whole confession thing is just very odd.

 

[Hellisreal]

thanks for the advice. I went back to the priest in the confessional and sat down face to face with him. I thought he was very defensive but he said he had given me the absolution. That does make me feel better but the whole confession thing is just very odd.

What makes you feel uncomfortable about it?

 

[dmp]

I don’t feel uncomfortable confessing actual serious sins, it’s just that I don’t know what has to be confessed and what does not. Then after confession, I’ll do something that I think needs to be confessed again, so actually I never should really take the eucharist. If I do take the eucharist, I have sinned again, and if I don’t my husband will look at me with a puzzled look and say “Did you take eucharist ?” and wonder if I’m doing something behind his back, if you know what I mean. Since I’m 35, I guess old habits are hard to break. For example, I have habits of saying GD , using the Lord’s name in vain. I do it without even thinking. Technicaly speaking , I guess it’s not a mortal sin since I’m not really thinking abut it, it just comes out of my mouth before I can stop it. However , I still feel bad and guity about it. Also, I sometimes tell lies without really thinking or feel envious of my neighbor, gossiping, etc, etc, etc. this is all so confusing for me and I suppose maybe I’m thinking about it too much… or maybe I’m not thinking about it enough… I really don’t know.
Maybe the advice of the good people on this forum would be helpful.

 

[dmp]

Also, I have been to confession 3 times now. It was totally different each time the way the priest responded. The first time, the priest when on and on about " I absolve you, etc. etc. " The next 2 times the priest (I think) just said some stuff about father son holy ghost made sign of cross, then said good night or go in peace , so I didn’t actually hear the “forgive” or “absolve” words.

 

[Margita]

dmp, I think your problem is you are too scrupolous. You see, it is nearly impossible to keep our consciences squeaky clean. You have to accept the fact that small errors and habitual shortcomings will plage you until the end of your life.

I have heard a good saying for this, actually from a priest: “The problem with you is, your God is not omnipotent.” Think about this: if you don’t believe that God will freely and willingly forgive you for everyday stumbles if you ask Him in prayer, you will have a tough time going to confession. He is omnipotent and it is in his power to forgive you.

Do not have doubts about God’s mercy. You should confess mortal sins about which you are certain (grave matter - full awareness - full intent). Do not let each “slip of the tongue and foot” keep you from the Eucharist. It is the very medicine to keep you on the right path!

1John 3:20: “For if our heart reprehend us, God is greater than our heart, and knoweth all things.”

Hebrews 4:15-16: “For we have not a high priest, who can not have compassion on our infirmities: but one tempted in all things like as we are, without sin. - - Let us go therefore with confidence to the throne of grace: that we may obtain mercy, and find grace in seasonable aid.”

 

[Hellisreal]

sorry, I just got back home and checked in. I hope the last poster cleared things up for you a lot!

May God bless you for taking your faith seriously! Happy Mothers Day