No advice during confession?

[JoeFreedom]

I honestly wish our priests would not provide advice. I go for absolution. But honestly with a once only per week 45 minute sacrament, when the priest gets wordy I sometimes don’t get in when there is even a small line. Go in, confess, be absolved, leave. Those who haven’t confessed in decades and have long confessions and those who want counciling should set up a special time with the priest.

Since I’ve been “denied” confession a few times because of this I’ve found another parish which offers it more often where the members understand the purpose so even though the line is long each person is in and out in a couple of minutes.

 

[CoeurRempli]

I understand where you are coming from. I always get nervous waiting in the confession line, wondering if I’ll make it in time.
But confessing for the first time in decades is a nerve wracking thing, and it would probably be more intimidating for some to make an appointment. Maybe it is better for us regulars to make an appointment if we really need to go to confession, and remember that if we didn’t make it, maybe the person in the confessional needed it even more than we do.
Of course, what would be more ideal - more priests so confession could be offered more than once a week for 45 minutes.

 

[phil19034]

When my confession is very direct and to the point, as if I know what I did wrong and not stressing about it… I might not get advice. Honestly, sometimes when my confession is direct, father asks me if I’m sorry for my sins, just to make sure.

But if my confession sounds like I’m sad that I sinned, then I often get advise or words of encouragement.

 

[casslean]

I just had this same experience. There had been a bit of a queue as it was the last scheduled confession before Divine Mercy Sunday.

I just assumed maybe the Holy Spirit wasn’t offering any particular inspiration for me.

 

[JoeFreedom]

There is a great article in the Jan/Feb Catholic Answers magazine about this very thing called The Heresy of Low Expectations. It talks about how reducing the availability of the sacrament of confession only serves to lessen the amount of people willing to go. I won’t get into details here since typing on a phone long responses is difficult but if you don’t get the magazine look for the article online in July when it gets posted for free.

 

[casslean]

What do you mean by “reducing the availability”? Our priests have set hours (about 1.5 hours a week) when they are in the confessional waiting, but they are generally available by request whenever you ask. For our parish, this seems much more practical, as you will never find times that suit everyone, and I hate to think of the priests’ time being wasted with no one showing up for confession (which does happen) when I know how busy they are.

 

[Maximilian75]

Spiritual direction, perhaps

 

[CoeurRempli]

I think I found it; is it this? https://www.catholic.com/magazine/online-edition/the-heresy-of-low-expectations

A very interesting read, and so true. Unfortunately I find it to be the case when it comes to my personal experience with confession as well. At my former parish, confession was offered before every single Mass celebrated, and so I went biweekly. Now it is really hard for me to go even once a month.

I love the article’s point about having great expectations. We should have great expectations, because after all, it is God who is in charge, and He can do anything
However, I always wondered why 45 minutes or an hour a week on Saturdays has become the norm. Is it because they think no one will come, or is it because we do not have enough priests, and they are just so busy?

 

[JoeFreedom]

That’s the one! According to the article it is the former. They think no one will come. So they reduce hours. People come less because they can’t make it so they think no one wants to go so they reduce more.

My parish offers adoration once a month for 12 hours. Most of that time I’m at work. Thus my opportunity to go is like once every six months due to other commitments (e.g. kids…)

 

[CoeurRempli]

What do you mean by “reducing the availability”? Our priests have set hours (about 1.5 hours a week) when they are in the confessional waiting, but they are generally available by request whenever you ask. For our parish, this seems much more practical, as you will never find times that suit everyone, and I hate to think of the priests’ time being wasted with no one showing up for confession (which does happen) when I know how busy they are.

I completely appreciate how much our priests do and how busy they are. I am not saying that they shoud waste their time, but perhaps on those days when no one goes in, they are planting seeds. Maybe it causes someone to contemplate the idea and know that it is available. And just being present in the confessional, perhaps they will encourage someone who might otherwise not think to go to confess. It is less intimidating than going up to a priest and asking. Confession becomes more visible, and more parishioners seeing others going and consider going themselves.

That’s the one! According to the article it is the former. They think no one will come. So they reduce hours. People come less because they can’t make it so they think no one wants to go so they reduce more.

My parish offers adoration once a month for 12 hours. Most of that time I’m at work. Thus my opportunity to go is like once every six months due to other commitments (e.g. kids…)

We have one or two Holy Hours a month… something always comes up. Another commitment, bad weather… so I also end up going maybe once every few months.
I used to live near an adoration chapel open all day and I really miss being able to go talk to Jesus pretty much whenever I wanted to. Maybe though, this is how God is teaching me to be more intentional in setting aside time for Him?

 

[Trickypixie]

When advice is lacking, just remember what Jesus told the woman who had committed adultery, go and sin no more.

 

[babochka]

I honestly wish our priests would not provide advice. I go for absolution. But honestly with a once only per week 45 minute sacrament, when the priest gets wordy I sometimes don’t get in when there is even a small line. Go in, confess, be absolved, leave. Those who haven’t confessed in decades and have long confessions and those who want counciling should set up a special time with the priest.

Since I’ve been “denied” confession a few times because of this I’ve found another parish which offers it more often where the members understand the purpose so even though the line is long each person is in and out in a couple of minutes.

Ideally, those who know that they might take a long time would make an appointment. Reality often falls short of the ideal, for many reasons. I only want to share the words of St. Alphonsus Ligouri, patron saint of confessors on this very subject:

“But some will say, ‘If we treat sinners in this manner a great deal of our time will be taken up, and others who are waiting cannot be heard.’ But in answer I say, that it is better to hear one confession well than to hear a great number imperfectly. But the most appropriate answer is, that the confessor has not to give an account to God of the persons who are waiting, but only of the person whose confession he has begun to hear.”

 

[babochka]

When my confession is very direct and to the point, as if I know what I did wrong and not stressing about it… I might not get advice. Honestly, sometimes when my confession is direct, father asks me if I’m sorry for my sins, just to make sure.

But if my confession sounds like I’m sad that I sinned, then I often get advise or words of encouragement.

I find that the more (appropriate) detail I give, the more likely I am to get good advice. If I’m too vague with my confession, the priest doesn’t have a lot to go on.

 

[babochka]

Agree…advice or even direction might be a better term than counselling.

Several people viamently objected to my claim that the Sacrament is not for counseling, but for absolution, and that counseling should be done outside the confessional.

Counselling perhaps denotes a much wider form of consultation which would be probably better done outside of Confession.

Agree…advice or even direction might be a better term than counselling.

I’ve always wondered what exactly people mean when they say that the confessional is not the place for “counseling”. Counseling is defined as “the provision of assistance and guidance in resolving personal, social, or psychological problems and difficulties, especially by a professional.” I would agree that confession is an inappropriate venue for counseling, but I don’t think very many people seek counseling in confession. It often seems that people conflate “counseling” with “give counsel”, which is to give advice. Confession is absolutely the time for giving good spiritual counsel and brief spiritual direction and especially for helping a penitent better form his or her conscience. That is often why one seeks out a regular confessor.

In 2011, the Congregation for the Clergy published a manual for Confessors and Spiritual Directors. http://www.clerus.org/clerus/dati/2011-05/20-13/Sussidio_per_Confessori_en.pdf (Note that these two very closely related topics were covered in the same document.)The entire document is worth reading, but I’d especially like to draw attention to the following:

“It is necessary to return to the confessional as a place in which to
celebrate the Sacrament of Reconciliation, but also as a place in which
“to dwell” more often, so that the faithful may find compassion, advice
> and comfort, feel that they are loved and understood by God and
experience the presence of Divine Mercy beside the Real Presence in
the Eucharist”.

1. In many dioceses, and especially in minor basilicas, in cathedrals,
   in sanctuaries and in large urban parishes, the faithful have responded
   positively to the efforts of pastors to provide opportunities
   to approach the Sacrament of Penance. Since “through the Sacrament
   of Penance (the ministers) reconcile sinners with God and with the
   Church”,14 this penitential celebration can also provide an opportunity
   for spiritual direction or counsel.

While it is not strictly necessary to the celebration of the sacrament, it is entirely appropriate for the priest to offer such spiritual direction or counseling within the sacrament and also appropriate for the faithful to ask for it. Yes, prudence calls for a quicker approach if there is a line and danger of confessions not getting heard, but those who insist that the time for confession is only for the listing of sins and absolution are simply not in harmony with the mind of the Church on this.

 

[Jump4Joy]

That’s his personal style I suppose

 

[Reuben_J]

As I said I am not a priest. I can only say what I observe. Personally I had been both given advice and without. To me the latter is not a big deal especially if my Confession is very simple.

 

[JoeFreedom]

Yes. It is true that if those in line have mortal sins and the priest takes the entire 45 minutes to hear one confession when there is a line of 20 people.

 

[casslean]

I am not saying that they shoud waste their time, but perhaps on those days when no one goes in, they are planting seeds. Maybe it causes someone to contemplate the idea and know that it is available. And just being present in the confessional, perhaps they will encourage someone who might otherwise not think to go to confess. It is less intimidating than going up to a priest and asking. Confession becomes more visible, and more parishioners seeing others going and consider going themselves.

I can see your point. I think I have been very lucky to come into the church under the guidance of priests who made confession a very normal and positive experience, so it isn’t intimidating to walk up to a priest and say, “Do you have a few minutes to hear my Confession?” At a recent prayer service, as the event was ending and we were heading into a social following, one parishioner lamented that she hadn’t realized during the service that there was opportunity for confession, because she wanted to attend. The priest immediately stopped and invited her back to the confessional. But that is very much a cultural phenomenon.

 

[Gorgias]

I’ve found that most priests stop repeating the advice after about the 100th time I confess the same sin. Now I just say “It’s the usual stuff, Father.”

Does he respond, “ok… the usual penance, then”…?

 

[TheOldColonel]

Generally, we discuss our next golf date and then he finishes the rite.