No annlument = no Eucahrist?

[ecila]

I went to confession after 34 yrs hoping to be able to receive the Eucharist at Mass. I’m told that my first Catholic marriage must be annulled and present civil marriage blessed before I can receive Holy Communion.

I asked if this means that despite having been absolved of my sins, I’m still in the state of mortal sin? Answer was vague, “more of a technicality than a sin.”

I’m very disheartened. Can anyone shed some light?

 

[LilyM]

ecila:

I went to confession after 34 yrs hoping to be able to receive the Eucharist at Mass. I’m told that my first Catholic marriage must be annulled and present civil marriage blessed before I can receive Holy Communion.

I asked if this means that despite having been absolved of my sins, I’m still in the state of mortal sin? Answer was vague, “more of a technicality than a sin.”

I’m very disheartened. Can anyone shed some light?

I’m sorry that it seems you weren’t terribly well informed by your Confessor. The state of your marriage is far from being a mere technicality - marriage is a sacrament and a serious commitment in the eyes of God and the Church, any irregularity is a serious matter that should be rectified as quickly as possible.

First of all (I hope) he would have asked what your intentions were in regards to continuing relations with your husband prior to having the marriage blessed in Church.

If you intend to do anything more than live with him as brother and sister until the marriage is blessed then it shows that you’re not even trying to amend the present state of your life. In the eyes of God and the Church, sex without a validly blessed marriage is basically either premarital or adulterous - and a serious mortal sin.

Of course you can’t be and shouldn’t be absolved of a sin that you fully intend to go and keep on committing - remember Christ’s condition to the adulterous woman, which was ‘go and sin no more’. If you are in a state of mortal sin and receive the Eucharist then you are committing further mortal sin by receving the body and blood of Christ unworthily. Communion is a privilege, not an automatic right for everyone.

Go and discuss this further with your husband and if necessary your confessor. My humble opinion is that your soul and your peace of mind is worth the sacrifice (difficult as it may be) of temporarily abstaining from sex.

 

[palmas85]

ecila:

I went to confession after 34 yrs hoping to be able to receive the Eucharist at Mass. I’m told that my first Catholic marriage must be annulled and present civil marriage blessed before I can receive Holy Communion.

I asked if this means that despite having been absolved of my sins, I’m still in the state of mortal sin? Answer was vague, “more of a technicality than a sin.”

I’m very disheartened. Can anyone shed some light?

I would reccomend that you speak with the local Priest or the Tribunal in your diocese and get clarification. It does appear to me, just based on the facts as stated that you need to get the annulment. The church is pretty strict on that issue.

Good luck

 

[Seatuck]

vatican.va/roman_curia/congregations/cfaith/documents/rc_con_cfaith_doc_14091994_rec-holy-comm-by-divorced_en.html

Yes you do need to pursue an annulment . I pray that one is granted. Call the marriage tribunal of your diocese to get help in filling out the paperwork.

ewtn.com/expert/answers/communion_of_divorced_and_remarr.htm

 

[armyfamily]

ecila,

There are probably some details we don’t know to give a complete reply. If you were a baptized Catholic/Christian and were married in the Catholic church and your ex-husband is still alive, then yes, you need to get an annulment and have your current marriage blessed before receiving the Eucharist. Depending on the circumstances of your first marriage/divorce the paperwork may be easier than you think. It does take time to go through the process though, so I encourage you to get started soon. I just walked with a friend of mine through this process and it was emotionally difficult for her but her first marriage was annulled and she was able to come into the church last November. I hope these answers don’t sound harsh via the web. Please remember that the Church is trying to protect your soul. A good article on annulments can be found here at catholic.com/thisrock/1999/9909fea2.asp

Peace…

 

[mjdonnelly]

Sounds right, need annulment, get current marriage blessed, then can recieve eucharist. Otherwise, just a blessing.

 

[kayla]

I was in your shoes 2 years ago, and yes you must obtain an annulment from your first Catholic marriage, and after that have your current marraige convalidated before you are in communion with the Church.
You can however choose to live as brother and sister with your current spouse (refraining from any sexual relations) until the annulment process is complete…providing you go to confession, before recieving the Eucharist.
Talk to a priest about this, as it is a little more complicated life style and some people find it difficult to do.
Best of luck

 

[kleary]

ecila:

I went to confession after 34 yrs hoping to be able to receive the Eucharist at Mass. I’m told that my first Catholic marriage must be annulled and present civil marriage blessed before I can receive Holy Communion.

I asked if this means that despite having been absolved of my sins, I’m still in the state of mortal sin? Answer was vague, “more of a technicality than a sin.”

I’m very disheartened. Can anyone shed some light?

The priest was absolutely wrong in giving you absolution. Your first marriage, in the eyes of the Church was valid and your current marriage is null and void unless the Church finds that your first one was invalid.

You cannot even go to confession in the state you are in because you will continue to be in it.

Ken

 

[ecila]

Thank all above for feedback, though it’s most discouraging. I will pursue the annulment and marriage blessing. Till then I guess I will remain in the state of mortal sin and hope I don’t get hit by a truck!

 

[thistle]

ecila:

Thank all above for feedback, though it’s most discouraging. I will pursue the annulment and marriage blessing. Till then I guess I will remain in the state of mortal sin and hope I don’t get hit by a truck!

Why would you intend to remain in a state of mortal sin if you love God?

I have a similar situation to you. To cut a long story short my wife was a widow but I am divorced from my first wife who is still alive. My current marriage was a civil one because we are not able to get married in the Church.
To be able to once again receive Communion we had a simple choice. Annulment of my first marriage or perpetual abstenance from a sexual relationship. As I am almost 58 getting an annulment would be highly impractical. I can hardly remember who was even at my first marriage never mind produce witnesses etc. My wife is also in her 50’s but anyway we realised we love God more than sex so we have privately vowed to God to refrain from all sexual activity forever. We not only sleep in separate beds but we also have separate bedrooms and do you know our (non-sexual)relationship has actually greatly improved as has our relationship with God. We have had no sex for a long time and daily prayer has made it easy for us and we do not miss it. We of course went to Confession and we are very happy receiving our Lord in the Eucharist.
When it came to the crunch we had to choose between God and our own selfish desires. We chose God.

 

[MGEISING]

ecila:

Thank all above for feedback, though it’s most discouraging. I will pursue the annulment and marriage blessing. Till then I guess I will remain in the state of mortal sin and hope I don’t get hit by a truck!

Be very careful Ecila - this is the most dangerous sin — to know that you are sinning and continue doing it and just hope for the best.

Our prayers are with you … truly - I will personally keep you in my prayers this week.

God Bless,

Mgeising

 

[LilyM]

thistle:

Why would you intend to remain in a state of mortal sin if you love God?

I have a similar situation to you. To cut a long story short my wife was a widow but I am divorced from my first wife who is still alive. My current marriage was a civil one because we are not able to get married in the Church.
To be able to once again receive Communion we had a simple choice. Annulment of my first marriage or perpetual abstenance from a sexual relationship. As I am almost 58 getting an annulment would be highly impractical. I can hardly remember who was even at my first marriage never mind produce witnesses etc. My wife is also in her 50’s but anyway we realised we love God more than sex so we have privately vowed to God to refrain from all sexual activity forever. We not only sleep in separate beds but we also have separate bedrooms and do you know our (non-sexual)relationship has actually greatly improved as has our relationship with God. We have had no sex for a long time and daily prayer has made it easy for us and we do not miss it. We of course went to Confession and we are very happy receiving our Lord in the Eucharist.
When it came to the crunch we had to choose between God and our own selfish desires. We chose God.

What an amazing story! I’m glad to see that with God’s help you’ve been able to find a solution that works for you, albeit a slightly unusual one, and stick with it too. Best of luck to you.

 

[campion]

Change the discussion for a minute:

What if the poster’s first marriage wasn’t a “Catholic” marriage, still the need for an annullment? I would think so.

 

[armyfamily]

If the original poster was a baptized Catholic, not married in the church the first marriage would not be sacramental…there still is a need to fill out the paperwork for the tribunal but I believe it’s called a Pauline privilege (?) instead of an annulment.

Peace

 

[SMHW]

armyfamily:

If the original poster was a baptized Catholic, not married in the church the first marriage would not be sacramental…there still is a need to fill out the paperwork for the tribunal but I believe it’s called a Pauline privilege (?) instead of an annulment.

Peace

Actually what you are describing sounds like a defect of form. A Pauline privelege involves a divorced, unbaptized person who enters the Church…

While a defect of form must go before the tribunal it is not truly an annulment.

 

[Jesusismylord]

LilyM:

If you intend to do anything more than live with him as brother and sister until the marriage is blessed then it shows that you’re not even trying to amend the present state of your life. In the eyes of God and the Church, sex without a validly blessed marriage is basically either premarital or adulterous - and a serious mortal sin.

I am in your same situation. I am living with my 2nd husband, but for the past 3 years, after a major “re-conversion” confession and surely the infusion of God’s grace, my husband and I have become celibate. My husband of 20 years , who is not Catholic and would not have understood, just “lost” his sexual urge at the same time that I felt ready to surrender this. I can only say it is the Holy Spriit. God is a God of order and when you truly ask for this grace, it will be peaceful in every way. My husband and I feel closer now, even without the sexual intimacy-- it just happened so naturally and the best thing is that I can actually receive His Holy Eucharist every day and it such a fulfilment of such a deep longing.

In the meantime, I am starting my annulment proceedings, which is a bit more complicated than usual, because I have just been told by the tribunal that I have to do this in another country where my first husband and I were married. I am working on this annulment because I saw the incredible grace of God that anointed my purified relationship with my husband now-- so I am looking forward to be married in the Catholic Church after I receive the annulment ( I was told that I have very good grounds so I am very hopeful) – for more of His incredible anointing and blessings on my family.
God bless you!
Teresa

 

[thistle]

Jesusismylord:

LilyM:

If you intend to do anything more than live with him as brother and sister until the marriage is blessed then it shows that you’re not even trying to amend the present state of your life. In the eyes of God and the Church, sex without a validly blessed marriage is basically either premarital or adulterous - and a serious mortal sin.

I am in your same situation. I am living with my 2nd husband, but for the past 3 years, after a major “re-conversion” confession and surely the infusion of God’s grace, my husband and I have become celibate. My husband of 20 years , who is not Catholic and would not have understood, just “lost” his sexual urge at the same time that I felt ready to surrender this. I can only say it is the Holy Spriit. God is a God of order and when you truly ask for this grace, it will be peaceful in every way. My husband and I feel closer now, even without the sexual intimacy-- it just happened so naturally and the best thing is that I can actually receive His Holy Eucharist every day and it such a fulfilment of such a deep longing.

In the meantime, I am starting my annulment proceedings, which is a bit more complicated than usual, because I have just been told by the tribunal that I have to do this in another country where my first husband and I were married. I am working on this annulment because I saw the incredible grace of God that anointed my purified relationship with my husband now-- so I am looking forward to be married in the Catholic Church after I receive the annulment ( I was told that I have very good grounds so I am very hopeful) – for more of His incredible anointing and blessings on my family.
God bless you!
Teresa

God bless you.