No baptism godparent?

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Ms_Manners

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Is it possible to avoid godparents at baptism?

We moved here recently, I don’t know anyone (literally, not even one person) at our new parish. Our families are not Catholic.
We literally don’t have one single person who would be suitable for that role.
 
Ms_Manners said:
Is it possible to avoid godparents at baptism?

We moved here recently, I don’t know anyone (literally, not even one person) at our new parish. Our families are not Catholic.
We literally don’t have one single person who would be suitable for that role.
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While godparents are not required for Baptism to be valid, it is certainly tradition to have a sponsor. Why not ask your priest to suggest one of the parishioners? It would be a great way to get to know someone. Who knows, they might become some of the best friends you’ll have in this new town.
 
I would rather have no one than a stranger, if it is possible.
 
Ms_Manners said:
I would rather have no one than a stranger, if it is possible.
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This is very sad to me. We are baptized into a community of believers.
As Phemie said, this would be a wonderful way to meet some people in your new parish.
Please consider talking to your priest, I am sure that something can be worked out, and who knows, you just may make a life-long friend.
 
Could you provide a source, in case the priest doesn’t agree to do it without a godparent?
 
The Canon says this, my emphases added.
Can. 872 Insofar as possible, a person to be baptized is to be given a sponsor who assists an adult in Christian initiation or together with the parents presents an infant for baptism. A sponsor also helps the baptized person to lead a Christian life in keeping with baptism and to fulfill faithfully the obligations inherent in it.
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I would not see your situation as “impossible” in finding a sponsor. Please, talk to your priest about this. If you are new to your community, finding friends can be difficult. What better way to meet people that through the Church?
 
OP, I gather that you may have some social anxieties, but please reconsider your attitude. You need to make some Catholic friends.
 
Ms_Manners said:
Is it possible to avoid godparents at baptism?

We moved here recently, I don’t know anyone (literally, not even one person) at our new parish. Our families are not Catholic.
We literally don’t have one single person who would be suitable for that role.
Click to expand...
The priest can a be a sponsor.
 
Ms_Manners said:
Is it possible to avoid godparents at baptism?

We moved here recently, I don’t know anyone (literally, not even one person) at our new parish. Our families are not Catholic.
We literally don’t have one single person who would be suitable for that role.
Click to expand...
Do you know any Catholics who live in your previous location? It is possible to have them be godparents even if they are not able to travel for the baptism. You can have proxies stand in for them. And you only need one.
 
Oneofthewomen said:
The Canon says this, my emphases added.

I would not see your situation as “impossible” in finding a sponsor. Please, talk to your priest about this. If you are new to your community, finding friends can be difficult. What better way to meet people that through the Church?
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Yes. Many RCIA candidates have a sponsor assigned to them.
The prayers of a person who is briefly a stranger to you are just as effective as the prayers of a relative…
Perhaps during the Baptism class that you will be asked to attend, your concerns will be relieved.
Congratulations on your child’s Baptism!
I for one, will pray for your child.
 
PaulfromIowa said:
OP, I gather that you may have some social anxieties, but please reconsider your attitude. You need to make some Catholic friends.
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While I do appreciate the intention behind your advice, I do not need to make friends at all, and for people with social anxieties it is like telling an anorexic to just go eat something.
thistle said:
The priest can a be a sponsor.
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Thank you, I will see if this is an option.
babochka said:
Do you know any Catholics who live in your previous location? It is possible to have them be godparents even if they are not able to travel for the baptism. You can have proxies stand in for them. And you only need one.
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No, no one I know is actually Catholic.
They all fail the gay marriage test, if nothing else.
pianistclare said:
Perhaps during the Baptism class that you will be asked to attend, your concerns will be relieved.
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There is no baptism class requirement.
 
Honestly, this text only confirms my suspicions, we do not have a Catholic who will be present in her life. The priest is of course free to force someone upon us, but I strongly wish to avoid additional people in my life now and that person would be a false sponsor.
It only leaves me wondering if I can even get her baptised validly.

It is not surprising that there is no baptism class, in our Church marriage prep is symbolic only, one hour a day for five days and there isn’t even the requirement that both actually attend.
 
Marriage prep is “symbolic”. If you just moved to this parish, how can do you know this? 🤷

I’m sorry that you struggle, but it sounds as if you have made up your mind to self isolate. There are no “perfect” Catholics, and it seems to me that is what you are looking for. Good luck with that.

I do suggest that you contact a priest,and maybe get some spiritual direction. The Church can and must have a “community” element. Please, talk to someone. What you are proposing and some of your comments strike me as very unhealthy, spiritually & mentally.
Ms_Manners said:
Honestly, this text only confirms my suspicions, we do not have a Catholic who will be present in her life. The priest is of course free to force someone upon us, but I strongly wish to avoid additional people in my life now and that person would be a false sponsor.
It only leaves me wondering if I can even get her baptised validly.

It is not surprising that there is no baptism class, in our Church marriage prep is symbolic only, one hour a day for five days and there isn’t even the requirement that both actually attend.
Click to expand...
 
Oneofthewomen said:
Marriage prep is “symbolic”. If you just moved to this parish, how can do you know this? 🤷

I’m sorry that you struggle, but it sounds as if you have made up your mind to self isolate. There are no “perfect” Catholics, and it seems to me that is what you are looking for. Good luck with that.

I do suggest that you contact a priest,and maybe get some spiritual direction. The Church can and must have a “community” element. Please, talk to someone. What you are proposing and some of your comments strike me as very unhealthy, spiritually & mentally.
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I would second this.
Be assured of our prayers.
 
Ms_Manners said:
Honestly, this text only confirms my suspicions, we do not have a Catholic who will be present in her life. The priest is of course free to force someone upon us, but I strongly wish to avoid additional people in my life now and that person would be a false sponsor.
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Canon law requires a sponsor, if at all possible. “Force” seems a strong word, if the priest assigns a sponsor to your child, in order to comply with canon law. It would not be a false sponsor. That person can fulfill his or her obligations as a godparent through prayer for your child, even if you never allow a relationship to develop.
It only leaves me wondering if I can even get her baptised validly.
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You would deny your child baptism over this?

I can’t image what has occurred in your life to bring you to this point, but I encourage you to open yourself up to holy friendship with other Christians. We are created for community. God himself is a community of love and as Christians, we are called to become like God. As an introvert with some degree of social anxiety, I have difficulty with this myself, but I see it as a goal to work toward.

I will keep you in my prayers.
 
Oneofthewomen said:
Marriage prep is “symbolic”. If you just moved to this parish, how can do you know this? 🤷
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It’s our national mission in this country, the procedures are the same.

I am not looking for perfection, the fact that I do not socialize has nothing to do with what I’m looking for (or not). Social anxiety isn’t about that.
But even with that, the fact remains that the people I know who claim to be Catholic disagree on basic issues, such as abortion (acceptable in certain circumstances), homosexuality (Church should lighten up) and chastity (how can you know if you don’t have a taste), only to name a few.
 
babochka said:
Canon law requires a sponsor, if at all possible. “Force” seems a strong word, if the priest assigns a sponsor to your child, in order to comply with canon law. It would not be a false sponsor. That person can fulfill his or her obligations as a godparent through prayer for your child, even if you never allow a relationship to develop.

You would deny your child baptism over this?
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Any new person in my life now would be forced.
If we can only see them that one time, it is possible, but if I had to include anyone for a longer period of time, I would be lying to say it could happen.
 
Ms_Manners said:
It’s our national mission in this country, the procedures are the same.

I am not looking for perfection, the fact that I do not socialize has nothing to do with what I’m looking for (or not). Social anxiety isn’t about that.
But even with that, the fact remains that the people I know who claim to be Catholic disagree on basic issues, such as abortion (acceptable in certain circumstances), homosexuality (Church should lighten up) and chastity (how can you know if you don’t have a taste), only to name a few.
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All the more reason why you need to align yourself with practicing Catholics. Having your pastor introduce you to some would be a blessing,
 
pianistclare said:
All the more reason why you need to align yourself with practicing Catholics. Having your pastor introduce you to some would be a blessing,
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No, any kind of social interaction is a curse.
Just going to work is enough for me, and she’ll have day care.
 
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