No children, no rights in the catholic church?

[truthquester]

A friend of mine can’t naturally have children due to turners syndrome and her local church told her that she is no longer welcome there because of it, they won’t even let her have her wedding in the church. Is it common practice amongst catholics to kick someone out of the church because they can’t have children???

 

[Saints_Alive]

No it’s not true.

/thread

 

[Jerok]

From what I understand you have to be able to have sex to be married in the Catholic Church, or to become a priest. So in some way, we discriminate against those who are born unable to have intercourse by making sure they never love another human through marriage.

Marriage - must be able to have sex!
Priest - must be able to have sex!

How they determine if a priest is able to have sex, I’ll never know

 

[truthquester]

Maybe you misunderstood my question. This is actually happening, this poor woman is being denied services from her parish and the priest told her it was because she can’t conceive.

 

[truthquester]

From what I understand you have to be able to have sex to be married in the Catholic Church, or to become a priest. So in some way, we discriminate against those who are born unable to have intercourse by making sure they never love another human through marriage.

Marriage - must be able to have sex!
Priest - must be able to have sex!

How they determine if a priest is able to have sex, I’ll never know

Good question, how do you determine if a priest is able to have sex lol.

 

[JReducation]

A friend of mine can’t naturally have children due to turners syndrome and her local church told her that she is no longer welcome there because of it, they won’t even let her have her wedding in the church. Is it common practice amongst catholics to kick someone out of the church because they can’t have children???

She should speak to another priest at another parish or maybe to the Family Life Office in her diocese. Maybe the priest does not understand the medical problem. I’ve never heard of infertility as an obstacle to marriage. There is a misunderstanding some place.

 

[3DOCTORS]

Maybe you misunderstood my question. This is actually happening, this poor woman is being denied services from her parish and the priest told her it was because she can’t conceive.

1. 
   *]What do you mean specifically by “services”? Is she wanting to get married to a specific person at this time?
   *]If she is truly being denied sacraments and is a Catholic in good standing, then the Bishop should be informed.
   
   It seems like there is probably more to the story, because I don’t think Canon Law supports what it sounds like the OP is describing. I know about the being able to have intercourse rule but there’s just not enough information in this case to figure out what’s going on.

 

[paperwight66]

There’s something strange about this. Someone I know with Turner’s syndrome got married in a Catholic church only last year.

 

[LilyM]

I wouldn’t think her infertility per se is the issue.

Possibly she informed her priest that she is planning to use assisted reproduction of a kind which is contrary to Church teaching (eg IVF) in an effort to conceive or something. That might throw a spanner in the works.

 

[Dakota_Roberts]

From what I understand you have to be able to have sex to be married in the Catholic Church, or to become a priest. So in some way, we discriminate against those who are born unable to have intercourse by making sure they never love another human through marriage.

Marriage - must be able to have sex!
**Priest - must be able to have sex! **

How they determine if a priest is able to have sex, I’ll never know

I don’t recall impotence being a thing that prevents ordination.

I think people especially in America either forget or do not know that celibacy is better than marriage (which is not to say marriage is bad per se)

 

[catholicguy123]

A friend of mine can’t naturally have children due to turners syndrome and her local church told her that she is no longer welcome there because of it, they won’t even let her have her wedding in the church. Is it common practice amongst catholics to kick someone out of the church because they can’t have children???

No, this is not a Catholic practice. That sounds like a priest that is doing his own thing (and very wrongly). She just can’t marry. If she is being denied The Eucharist or something similar to that, then there must be something more in the situation. Specifically if shes doing something immoral. But based upon the information you have given us, this is my answer.

 

[VeritasLuxMea]

From what I understand you have to be able to have sex to be married in the Catholic Church, or to become a priest. So in some way, we discriminate against those who are born unable to have intercourse by making sure they never love another human through marriage.

Marriage - must be able to have sex!
Priest - must be able to have sex!

Wait, what?

What if you can’t have sex? What do you do then?

 

[jesus4ever]

I had a uncle and aunty who never had children because they couldn’t and they where married

 

[jesus4ever]

tell your friend to go to the bishop. Maybe you dont know all the facts. Maybe she told the priest that she will try to have a child someother way and the priest denied her of marrage because of that

 

[quiet52]

A friend of mine can’t naturally have children due to turners syndrome and her local church told her that she is no longer welcome there because of it, they won’t even let her have her wedding in the church. Is it common practice amongst catholics to kick someone out of the church because they can’t have children???

Hard to believe this happened, and questions.

1. 
   *]A “local church” isn’t like a “committee”; it doesn’t tell a person anything. Does your friend mean a priest told her that she is not welcome?
   *]The Catholic Church welcomes every single person in the world. I have never heard of a priest telling anyone that they are not welcome at the parish, for any reason. Pastors don’t “kick people out.” Does your friend tend to twist other people’s words when she is emotional?
   *]If she is sterile because of her medical condition, sterility is not an impediment to marriage. Is she claiming that the priest told her that this is the reason she cannot marry?
   *]Or did the priest give her another reason why they cannot be married in the Catholic Church? There are some valid reasons why a priest would either delay or disallow a marriage. One reason would be if the couple plans to use contraception to avoid children. Another reason is one or both spouses are impotent (incapable of having sexual intercourse). Of course at least one partner has to be Catholic, and both partners need to participate in the required marriage preparation. The priest might have information about your friend or your friend’s fiance, that you don’t have, and there might be impediments to marriage that you don’t know anything about.
   
   Long ago, a friend of mine told me she believed her niece when her niece told her she left the Catholic Church because the priest wouldn’t marry her and her fiance, that they weren’t Catholic enough, and told them not to return to the Church. Several years later the niece told the truth. She and her fiance planned to contracept, were not practicing Catholics and just wanted the pretty church for their wedding (without intending to practice the faith afterwards), and they were never told not to return. Because of her bitterness about not getting what she wanted, she had decided to slam the priest and the Church.
   
   If your friend truly believes what you posted, then she should speak with a different priest.

 

[St_Francis]

From what I understand you have to be able to have sex to be married in the Catholic Church, or to become a priest. So in some way, we discriminate against those who are born unable to have intercourse by making sure they never love another human through marriage.

Marriage - must be able to have sex!
Priest - must be able to have sex!

How they determine if a priest is able to have sex, I’ll never know

If the priest is known to be impotent, say, through lacking the physical necessities or having been married and incapable, then he would not be able to be ordained. They don’t require proof that they are able to.

 

[Joannm]

If the priest is known to be impotent, say, through lacking the physical necessities or having been married and incapable, then he would not be able to be ordained. They don’t require proof that they are able to.

I have never heard this. Can you show documentation that proves this is true?

 

[hannajomar]

A friend of mine can’t naturally have children due to turners syndrome and her local church told her that she is no longer welcome there because of it, they won’t even let her have her wedding in the church. Is it common practice amongst catholics to kick someone out of the church because they can’t have children???

I’m sure there are many puzzle pieces missing in this thread.
Being sterile is not an impediment to marriage. However, people who get married must be physically able to have intercourse. Does she plan to conceive a baby in another way besides intercourse, such as in-vitro fertilization? That is against Church teaching, and the priest would be right to refuse to conduct her marriage if she told him that.

As far as being “kicked out of the church,” there is more than meets the eye here. That simply doesn’t happen in the Catholic Church. Even if someone is officially excommunicated (which is rare), there is an avenue for them to return. There is a huge misunderstanding somewhere in this picture.

 

[GEddie]

Wait, what?

What if you can’t have sex? What do you do then?

Marriage is about the bodily union of a man and woman through sexuality. It’s almost the definition.

So if there can be no consummation, there can be no marriage. It’s not unfair, it’s just the way human life works.

I would like to see a source, however, for the earlier claim that sexual ability is needed to be ordained, given that priesthood, unlike marriage, in no way involves sexual activity.

ICXC NIKA.

 

[GEddie]

I don’t recall impotence being a thing that prevents ordination.

I think people especially in America either forget or do not know that celibacy is better than marriage (which is not to say marriage is bad per se)

Or rather, marriage is very good, but celibacy for the sake of Christ is better.

There is no virtue in remaining unmarried just because one never got around to it.

And yes, in NA, the sexual idol is alive and well.

ICXC NIKA