No confession til after convalidation?

[BlossomingFaith]

I was hoping to go to confession soon after over 20 years of not going. Now I just read somewhere that I cant go unless I get my marriage convalidated! Now, I would love to do that, but I am not sure my husband would. I asked him and his answer was “find a different Church.” He didnt outright refuse. I guess. Anyway, this is a huge problem. Does anyone know if this is true?

Also, has anyone been in this situation? It is hard because my husband just finished treatment and the waiting period after treatment for cancer and we can finally have marital relations again. If we have to stop for I am not sure how long, not only will that hurt our marriage but I may never have children.

I was looking forward to confession and now I feel a little hopeless.

 

[agnes_therese]

I was hoping to go to confession soon after over 20 years of not going. Now I just read somewhere that I cant go unless I get my marriage convalidated! Now, I would love to do that, but I am not sure my husband would. I asked him and his answer was “find a different Church.” He didnt outright refuse. I guess. Anyway, this is a huge problem. Does anyone know if this is true?

Also, has anyone been in this situation? It is hard because my husband just finished treatment and the waiting period after treatment for cancer and we can finally have marital relations again. If we have to stop for I am not sure how long, not only will that hurt our marriage but I may never have children.

I was looking forward to confession and now I feel a little hopeless.

What you “read somewhere” may or may not apply to you, you need to speak with a priest. In addition, if your marriage does need to be convalidated, it may not be as much of a process as your husband thinks. If he does refuse to cooperate, talk to your priest about radical sanation.

 

[pianistclare]

The church is there to help you, not drive you away.
Go see a priest. Together.
Having the facts is best. Since we don’t know all the details of your lives, meeting with the Pastor or one of your priests is the best way.

Go talk to the Pastor. He’ll help you both.
And Congratulations on your husband’s healing.
God is good.

 

[SuscipeMeDomine]

Listen to Clare. If your husband won’t participate in a convalidation, ask your pastor about a radical sanation. There are ways to solve problems, so don’t give up!

 

[Blue_Horizon]

I was hoping to go to confession soon after over 20 years of not going. Now I just read somewhere that I cant go unless I get my marriage convalidated! Now, I would love to do that, but I am not sure my husband would. I asked him and his answer was “find a different Church.” He didnt outright refuse. I guess. Anyway, this is a huge problem. Does anyone know if this is true?

Also, has anyone been in this situation? It is hard because my husband just finished treatment and the waiting period after treatment for cancer and we can finally have marital relations again. If we have to stop for I am not sure how long, not only will that hurt our marriage but I may never have children.

I was looking forward to confession and now I feel a little hopeless.

BF a “Rad San” type con-validation is designed for people just like you.
Your husband doesn’t even need to know about your con-validation if that would put excessive strain on your relationship.

Talk with your priest privately on this matter.

 

[BlossomingFaith]

Thank you for all the advice. I will have to talk to my parish priest.

I already asked my husband, so I wouldnt need to keep it from him but I have to admit I prefer the idea of the convalidation.

 

[BlossomingFaith]

The church is there to help you, not drive you away.
Go see a priest. Together.
Having the facts is best. Since we don’t know all the details of your lives, meeting with the Pastor or one of your priests is the best way.

Go talk to the Pastor. He’ll help you both.
And Congratulations on your husband’s healing.
God is good.

Thanks for the kind words. It was the day he was diagnosed that I feel my conversion began, strangely enough.