No difference in my penance and my children's?

[whatevergirl]

Hi everyone…hope you are immersed in the Advent spirit…soon to give way to the joy of Christ’s birth.

I went to confession with my kids on Saturday. I confessed that my husband and I have not always followed the sexual morals that the RCC teaches, within a marriage. (procreative and unitive) Ok…so, my penance was 5 Our Fathers, and to do one act of charity this week.

You may find this odd, but my kids always ask me what my penance was…lol Come to find out, that we all had the same penance. I was curious as to your thoughts on this, because I consider my sins to be “worse” if you were to compare them. My son wondered why we all received the same penance? Any thoughts on this, or should we not focus on this?

 

[beckers]

My first reaction is awesome that you are taking your kids to confession.

Second reaction- I see nothing wrong with getting the same penance.Kind of shows to your son that all sins is equal in the eyes of God and that he is held accountable just like the adults in the church.

 

[whatevergirl]

hi beckers;

That is a great way of looking at it. My son’s conscience as a newly confirmed young man, is just taking shape( He was confirmed this past spring, when he was 14) I told him that he may start grappling with impure thoughts, and looking at girls in a way that is not pleasing to our Lord, as he grows older. He just looked at me, with a look of confusion, but I just want to plant seeds, because I know that our youth today is bombarded with sexualized messages, and to know what is right and wrong, is often blurred by the media. I don’t ask them what they confess, of course…but I’m hoping that if he has thought an impure thought or two…he confessed it. Thanks for your post!

 

[Sr_Sally]

You may certainly choose to tell your children what your penance was, but please don’t ever ask them what they confessed or what penance they received.

Many priests give the same or similar penance to every confession. As the previous poster said, all sins are equal in the eyes of God and our penance would never equal the gravity of our sin as the wages of sin is death. The very fact that we have been absolved means that our sins in whatever kind or number they were are no longer weighting us down. Do your penance with a joyful heart knowing that you have been forgiven and make it a reminder to your firm purpose of amendment.

And happy Advent to you too!

 

[uwwhitewater84]

Also, don’t think of penance as a punishment. Think of it as an offering to God to make things right.

 

[whatevergirl]

You may certainly choose to tell your children what your penance was, but please don’t ever ask them what they confessed or what penance they received.

I specifically stated that I don’t ask them.

Many priests give the same or similar penance to every confession. As the previous poster said, all sins are equal in the eyes of God and our penance would never equal the gravity of our sin as the wages of sin is death. The very fact that we have been absolved means that our sins in whatever kind or number they were are no longer weighting us down. Do your penance with a joyful heart knowing that you have been forgiven and make it a reminder to your firm purpose of amendment.

And happy Advent to you too!

THANK YOU FOR YOUR POST!

 

[whatevergirl]

Also, don’t think of penance as a punishment. Think of it as an offering to God to make things right.

Agreed. I heard recently from a priest on a talk show, that we are to seek ‘the remedy’ for our sinful natures, through Confession. I thought that was a great way of explaining penance. (as a remedy as medicine)

 

[SuscipeMeDomine]

Last week my parish had a communal Reconciliation service and we were given our penance as a group before any of us had gone to confession. So if a parent came with a child, they both got the same penance.

And has been mentioned, the key thing is that our penance can’t possibly “make up” for our sins. If anything it’s a reminder of the immense mercy we receive. One little “Our Father” is nothing. It’s purely a matter of God’s grace.

 

[whatevergirl]

Last week my parish had a communal Reconciliation service and we were given our penance as a group before any of us had gone to confession. So if a parent came with a child, they both got the same penance.

And has been mentioned, the key thing is that our penance can’t possibly “make up” for our sins. If anything it’s a reminder of the immense mercy we receive. One little “Our Father” is nothing. It’s purely a matter of God’s grace.

I love this description of it–thank you! Yes…I have often thought…sheesh, this seems so light for all that I’ve done But, I have also asked for God’s mercy before Confession, often times. In really being prepared for Confession, it is a good idea to really prepare your heart for it. Wise words though you have here–thanks again!

 

[dulcissima]

Last week my parish had a communal Reconciliation service and we were given our penance as a group before any of us had gone to confession. So if a parent came with a child, they both got the same penance.

And has been mentioned, the key thing is that our penance can’t possibly “make up” for our sins. If anything it’s a reminder of the immense mercy we receive. One little “Our Father” is nothing. It’s purely a matter of God’s grace.

That is an interesting way to look at it. I have been finding that the priest who tells me that my penance is to pray to God and let him know that I accpet his mercy is giving me a more challenging penance than the one who has me pray one Hail Mary. Although, I have stopped going to the priest who always tells me that my life is penance enough.

 

[puzzleannie]

the penance does not necessarily have much to do with the number or kind of sins confessed, so there is nothing to be concerned about. I am a little disturbed that you would share your confession here, and that you would question your kids about their confessions. there needs to be a lot more confidentiality here.

 

[TweetyBird]

the penance does not necessarily have much to do with the number or kind of sins confessed, so there is nothing to be concerned about. I am a little disturbed that you would share your confession here, and that you would question your kids about their confessions. there needs to be a lot more confidentiality here.

Whatevergirl has shared her struggles with marital chastity on CAF. There is nothing uncouth about her stating, in general, the nature of her confession. She already said a bunch of times that she doesn’t question her kids about their confessions. They asked her what her penance was. The penitent is free to share whatever they please about their own confession with whomever they choose (whether that is with her kids or on a message board). “Mom, what was your penance?” “5 Our Fathers and an act of charity this week.” “Hey, me too!” is hardly a disturbing scenario. So I heartily disagree with you. Nothing at all inappropriate about the OP’s post, and no breech of confidentiality.

 

[leonie]

Also, you can choose to do voluntary penance if you desire.

I’m really bad at doing voluntary penance, I have to admit.

Also I’ve heard a offering of Masses is a good idea–go to a Mass for every year of your life and offer that year at Communion time.

I’ve asked God to let me do my penance in this life for my sins of unchastity. Whenever things are difficult, I sometimes feel a little reminder from God. He’s just answer my prayer.

 

[jssaxon]

Hi everyone…hope you are immersed in the Advent spirit…soon to give way to the joy of Christ’s birth.

I went to confession with my kids on Saturday. I confessed that my husband and I have not always followed the sexual morals that the RCC teaches, within a marriage. (procreative and unitive) Ok…so, my penance was 5 Our Fathers, and to do one act of charity this week.

You may find this odd, but my kids always ask me what my penance was…lol Come to find out, that we all had the same penance. I was curious as to your thoughts on this, because I consider my sins to be “worse” if you were to compare them. My son wondered why we all received the same penance? Any thoughts on this, or should we not focus on this?

Thanks for telling us your sins, would you care to elaborate?

 

[tmango]

First - I would like to say that I, for one, do not find the remark of jssaxon at all funny.

Secondly - whatever girl…all you need to remember is that God’s name is mercy. It does not matter if you have to say one Hail Mary, or a thousand Hail Mary’s. What does matter is that you say your penance with a contrite heart and try your best not to sin in that way again.

Confession of your sins will open you up to the flow of grace from God, if you are open to receive those graces. As others have said, I too am happy to hear that you are giving your children exposure to the sacraments of the catholic faith.

 

[JMMK]

Just because the actions are the same doesn’t mean that the penance was the same. For example.

A half hour of adoration or a rosary or something to that effect might seem long and tedious to a child and that is their gift to God. The same thing done to a well cathecized adult would not only take time but would have a deeper meaning as you reflect on the gift God gave to you and his sufferings and so on.

As the saying goes: Shallow enough for a baby to play in, deep enough to drown an elephant.

 

[whatevergirl]

Just because the actions are the same doesn’t mean that the penance was the same. For example.

A half hour of adoration or a rosary or something to that effect might seem long and tedious to a child and that is their gift to God. The same thing done to a well cathecized adult would not only take time but would have a deeper meaning as you reflect on the gift God gave to you and his sufferings and so on.

As the saying goes: Shallow enough for a baby to play in, deep enough to drown an elephant.

Absolutely brilliant! Thank you for this insight. My daughter emptied the dish washer last night, and cleaned the kitchen without being asked. She said…‘charity isn’t all that bad, really. It kinda feels good when you’re done.’ ha My son…he is still working on what his act of charity is going to be.

 

[whatevergirl]

That is an interesting way to look at it. I have been finding that the priest who tells me that my penance is to pray to God and let him know that I accpet his mercy is giving me a more challenging penance than the one who has me pray one Hail Mary. Although, I have stopped going to the priest who always tells me that my life is penance enough.

what did he mean by that???