No idea what to do when we receive the sacraments

[Cecilia2017]

Please tell me she’s not making those sorts of comments about the Pope actually during the RCIA classes? There could be a bigger problem than just her lack of knowledge around marriages!

 

[Baho]

@Cecilia2017

In the classroom setting but when engaging in 1 on 1 discussion only, as far as I’ve seen. Again, she has been a massive help to me and my family. She even taught us at her house for most of the year to make our toddlers easier to manage. She is a great person. She’s just at odds with certain things and since my wife and I are aware of it we take certain comments with a grain of salt and fact check when something seems off. Ive provided the feedback to my deacon, for what it’s worth. Even though my wife and I are validly baptized, for example, she was insisting that we needed to be re-baptized because she personally doesn’t believe any non-Catholic baptism is valid. I’m aware of it so I quietly appealed to my deacon who is sorting it out. My concern was that I would receive first communion in a state of mortal sin because the baptism I was receiving that day wouldn’t be valid. So now I go to confession with the deacon and orders approval and I just don’t talk to her about the issue at all.

 

[Cecilia2017]

I’m speechless I’m afraid…well, nearly! I’m sure she’s a lovely person but she sounds completely unsuitable to be the first point of catechesis for new Catholics. There’s such a risk she could actually drive people away with misinformation. I so want to fill the rest of this comment with ‘horrified’ emojis! It sounds like it’s about time one of the clergy sat in on this course for a little quality control.

 

[JulianN]

Even though my wife and I are validly baptized, for example, she was insisting that we needed to be re-baptized because she personally doesn’t believe any non-Catholic baptism is valid.

I’m sure she’s lovely, but this kind of thing is really a problem for someone teaching RCIA. This is being a ‘cafeteria Catholic’ as much as someone who holds the liberal points of view of which I’m sure she disapproves.

I think the pastor should be made aware that she’s teaching fairly substantial errors about at least two sacraments of the Church – baptism and marriage.

And as others have said as well, from what you’ve shared, your marriage is both valid from the time you were married at the justice of the peace and sacramental from the time you got baptized. There is no need for any other thing to be done in the Church regarding it.

 

[Kaliaa]

Just a thought, perhaps you’ve like to renew your vows to each other in the Catholic church. That is not an uncommon thing, and something you might talk to your priest about. Obviously it’s not required, but maybe it’s something that you would like to do. It’s totally your choice and it can be done at any convenient time. Doesn’t have to be within the time frame of joining the church. If it’s of interest to you, just talk to your priest about it.

 

[Baho]

I absolutely do want to do that some day but it would be cool to do it back home near family.

 

[Usige]

So my RCIA coordinator said that since our marriage wasn’t done in the church that if we aren’t married by the church once we enter into it then we will be committing adultery every time we do it, basically.

Nope we were both baptized as protestants. My wife ~14 years ago and myself in 2018.

My wife and I went through a similar situation except I was baptized and she wasn’t when we married. About 8 years later she entered the Church and they kept pushing for us to get our marriage “blessed”. The same thing happened when I went through RCIA 3 years after her. It took nearly 10 years of badgering the parishes to actually record our marriage (“we only record Catholic marriages” - no you record valid marriages). If not for talking to the chancellor of the diocese I don’t know if it would have ever been correctly recorded.

I suspect part of the issue is that many, if not most, times people are not used to a married person entering the Church when one of the spouses was not already Catholic. Because of that they use a shorthand checklist and say “Where you married in the Church? If no it must be invalid.” In charity I think it’s a lack of education on various scenarios, but in some cases I think it’s a matter of laziness. If you can convince a couple to get their marriage “blessed” it is just easier than investigating if the marriage was valid.

As a hardcore trad, I’d just chalk it up to lack of education.

To be fair, most “hardcore” traditionalists I know are well versed in Church teaching (even those teachings they disagree with). On the whole I find that cradle catholics tend to be less educated about the faith. They may know the traditions, but often have little or no clue what underlies those traditions. Because they grew up with the traditions they never learned about the edge cases and have a mental shorthand that their experience of the Church encompasses the fullness of Her teaching.

Now before anyone jumps on me, I’m not saying all cradle catholics are uninformed, but rather that my experience is that converts by percentage tend to have a better grasp of the teachings.

 

[otjm]

I’m not sure what you mean by the first question since, if you’re already married you wouldn’t need to get married again just because you’re becoming Catholic.

It is called “convalidation”.

 

[Baho]

Hey folks, I wanted to post an update. I spoke with my deacon tonight and they’re going to use a video of my baptism as evidence that I was baptized and my wife’s baptismal certificate for hers. We’re going to have a brief moment to have our marriage blessed within the church when we’re confirmed and receiving first communion, which should be next month. Our kids will be baptized right after. I’m pretty happy about it and don’t have any qualms at this time.

 

[whatistrue]

It is called “convalidation”.

Yes, and it is only necessary to do so in order to make an invalid marriage valid.

 

[Bluebright]

I see you are getting a lot if advice and help on here. I just wanted to add that a good person to follow in YouTube is Fr Mike Schmidt as hes a priest so knows his stuff. He gives really simple basics short talks on the faith (5-10mins) on all topics. He’s great to get the basics us cradle catholic know down pat. Then of course ask the finer points here and welcome.

 

[Shasta-Rose]

Well. that’s good news.

Also, remember that your sponsor is probably a good source of information. If you didn’t have somebody in the church to sponsor you, they would have appointed somebody.

I went with my sponsor to a neighboring church for a Rosary service around the time I was being confirmed in the church, where my sponsor mentioned to me: You really can’t cross yourself too often, and you can’t splash around too much holy water. And I thought, Finally–info I can use! (You are so right. RCIA leaves out a lot that would help newbies.)

 

[InThePew]

Glad to hear you finally got it sorted! It sounds like you have a very strange co-ordinator who undoubtedly means well but needs some serious correction when it comes to the basics of sacraments.