No longer have any joy in the Catholic faith

[JackVk]

I intend on remaining a faithful Catholic for my whole life. But lately I have had a strained relationship with the idea of Catholicism. Here are my problems:

First, despite all these claims to “unity” of doctrine, I see the precise opposite in Catholic internet subculture. It seems like different apologists and “professional Catholic” figures, along with their fanboys, are constantly feuding and accusing each other of heresy. There’s also an attitude of “being Catholic means never having to say you’re sorry”. The problem is always with some external force.

Second, there is so much groupthink, and what atheist author H.P. Lovecraft called an “artificial conformity”. Independent thought of any kind has become synonymous with heterodoxy. This is not to say that syncretism or religious relativism are acceptable, but that the Church seems to demand the organizational culture of a termite colony.

For me, the Faith no longer feels like the Pearl of Great Price I once had; now it feels like a laundry list of doctrines that I must walk on eggshells to assent to without ever questioning, on pain of thought-crime. Despite all the apologetics, the faith seems so arbitrary. It’s like Ayn Rand’s dismissal of religious people in Atlas Shrugged: “a mystic is a man who chose the opinions of others over his own intellect. At the crossroads of ‘I know’ and ‘they say’, he chose to believe rather than to think’”.

Third, I am unable to evangelize. I can’t bring myself to do it after so many failures. Almost all my attempts to witness to Jesus are met not with hostility, but with an indifferent “cool story, bro.” It seems not like giving new life to others, but like intruding and micromanaging their lives.

Is there any solution to this? Why do I feel so disillusioned? What happened?

 

[Bonnie]

First, you say there is a lack of unity. Your second point is that there’s too much unity!

Neither one has anything to do with the teachings of the Church, which remain true whether or not there is unity in the ranks.

Your third issue, witnessing, is also a non-starter. Most of us are called to witness with a faithful life, not preaching. There have been some other threads on more productive methods of witnessing. We shouldn’t be copying the worst of the Protestant methods.

Becoming disillusioned is a good thing, I think. We have to lose our illusions before we can see the truth.

 

[Medical_Student]

Try reddit.com/r/catholicism.

The Eastern Catholicism sub forum on here is solid.

 

[AKDee]

Well, as to evangelizing- I forget which saint said this but it was something along the lines of “Preach the gospel always…use words when necessary.” In other words, live the gospel in your every day life and let other people be witnesses to that. There’s great power in living a true Christian life, and other people DO notice.

 

[Agu_Dalibi]

1st point: People in the Catholic internet sub-culture are… well… not the entirety of Catholicism. Go to Ireland or somewhere. Surround yourself with 'em.

2nd point: Not remotely. The Vatican recently approved GM crops. People think. People talk. People, similarly guided, agree.

I can’t think of a single “doctrine” that feels particularly useless, or badly thought-out. Think about what is actually doctrine, and what is tradition.

With regard to evangelisation: same here, but we get better with practice. The apostles had a lot.

“Let not your heart be troubled: believe in God, believe also in me.”
-John 14:1

Get sum fya back in yo heart.

“If He asks much of you, it is because He knows you can give much.”
“I plead with you–never, ever give up on hope, never doubt, never tire, and never become discouraged. Be not afraid.”

• St Pope John Paul II

 

[tawny]

Praying to the Holy Spirit to give you guidance, direction, strength, fortitude & wisdom in your time of need.

 

[tamedlion]

Well, you tried the intellect and didn’t work, now try humility and see where it will lead you.

 

[casey_cates]

I really like that even though you “feel” disillusioned you have made a commitment and will stick to it.

I think everyone goes though what you are. Maybe not as articulately. (Is that a word?)

I think the one Poster that said we must become disillusioned is right on. In the Bible, Jesus said, “How long must I be with you?”

I love the quote, “The world would be so much better if there weren’t people in it.”

One other fave quote “You say the church is **full **of sinners and hypocrites. Don’t worry, we have room for one more.” hehe

I know what you mean though. You’re like "How are the people at Church any better than those outside of it. All I can say, is thank God I go to church to worship Him and not them.

Keep your eye on the prize and keep truckin’!

 

[JD1789]

Have you tried talking to a spiritual director?

 

[TemperanceOfGod]

I’m too new and still so much to learn about the Catholic Faith and Church to give you any advice.
All I can say is Keep Your Eyes On Christ in All Things.

Just know I have added you to my prayers and will pray a rosary for you tonight. Be blessed in Our Lord.

 

[mh2007]

Yes, we must all make a conscious decision regarding our faith, and beliefs, and whether we will continue. Ayn Rand put forth all sorts of objectivist philosophies, which are in the rational / obective reasoning camp. She was an atheist, after all.

 

[Robyn_p]

I intend on remaining a faithful Catholic for my whole life. But lately I have had a strained relationship with the idea of Catholicism. Here are my problems:

First, despite all these claims to “unity” of doctrine, I see the precise opposite in Catholic internet subculture. It seems like different apologists and “professional Catholic” figures, along with their fanboys, are constantly feuding and accusing each other of heresy. There’s also an attitude of “being Catholic means never having to say you’re sorry”. The problem is always with some external force.

Second, there is so much groupthink, and what atheist author H.P. Lovecraft called an “artificial conformity”. Independent thought of any kind has become synonymous with heterodoxy. This is not to say that syncretism or religious relativism are acceptable, but that the Church seems to demand the organizational culture of a termite colony.

For me, the Faith no longer feels like the Pearl of Great Price I once had; now it feels like a laundry list of doctrines that I must walk on eggshells to assent to without ever questioning, on pain of thought-crime. Despite all the apologetics, the faith seems so arbitrary. It’s like Ayn Rand’s dismissal of religious people in Atlas Shrugged: “a mystic is a man who chose the opinions of others over his own intellect. At the crossroads of ‘I know’ and ‘they say’, he chose to believe rather than to think’”.

Third, I am unable to evangelize. I can’t bring myself to do it after so many failures. Almost all my attempts to witness to Jesus are met not with hostility, but with an indifferent “cool story, bro.” It seems not like giving new life to others, but like intruding and micromanaging their lives.

Is there any solution to this? Why do I feel so disillusioned? What happened?

I know exactly what you are feeling. I went through this not long ago. I never found any teaching of the Church to be wrong, but there was no more excitement, no more joy. It all just felt like a burden. Like it didn’t really make a difference.

I eventually figured out what the problem was for me. I had lost my focus on Christ, and instead overloaded on apologetics. When I first started getting serious about my faith, I ate, drank, and breathed apologetics. I loved it. There were actual answers to all those objections I had heard. There were good reasons. They made sense. I was so excited. I loved being Catholic.

The problem is, apologetics is limited. It has it’s place, but it’s not what our faith is about. I had focused almost exclusively on arguments and reason, which are necessary, but eventually I burned out. All the arguments just wore me down. I forgot what the faith was actually for: a living relationship with Christ. I have found that only in that context do the teachings make sense and aren’t felt as a burden. If we forget that though, and start just focusing in on the teachings without Christ, then they are empty and lifeless.

So that’s my recommendation to you. Take a break from apologetics and those authors who are causing you to struggle. They aren’t Catholicism. If you are confused about what is or isn’t required for Catholics to believe, that’s what the Catechism is for. But definitely focus more on your relationship with God. That’s what we exist for after all. Adoration is a good place to start, and reading Scripture. For me, books like the Fulfillment of All Desire by Ralph Martin and Forming Intentional Disciples by Sherry Weddell also helped get my perspective back. I still like apologetics, but I had to take a few months to detox. I’m actually thankful I went through this now, because I feel like my faith is deeper and stronger than it was when I was first discovering apologetics. It was painful, but worth it.

That’s another thing I want to say. This disillusionment you are feeling isn’t necessarily a bad thing. I think of it like falling in love. After you’ve been with someone for a long time, you might find that those little peculiar things she does that seemed exciting at first and made you feel like this person was the greatest treasure on earth don’t look as spectacular anymore. They don’t make you feel like you used to when you thought of her. They might even annoy you now. That might make you think at first that it was all just in your head, and there was really nothing there to be excited about. But the thing is, those little quirks were never HER. They might have been what attracted you at first, but there was more to her. Now that the ‘‘illusion’’ is gone (even though technically the only thing that’s changed is your perspective) you have a chance to go deeper and get to know her for who she is.

That’s pretty much analogous to our faith journey. Some of the things that might have excited you about the faith at first, like apologetics, now seem so dry and empty. Some of the things you may not have noticed before (like arguing Catholics) now are annoying you. But those things were never the essence of our faith anyways, some of that even is just due to human weakness and pettiness. Jesus is the real reason. You have an opportunity. God’s calling you to go deeper. That’s what happened for me at least.

Anyways, don’t know if that helped at all. Just wanted you to know I’ve been where you are at, and it doesn’t stay like this forever. Well, I shouldn’t say that, I still don’t have any faith in the human element of the Church. But we were never supposed to anyway.

 

[7_Sorrows]

I have found we go through our dry spells in the desert. They can happen more than once. Just keep praying and perservering.

 

[SAVINGRACE]

I don’t take the internet subculture too seriously.

I read/interact but don’t take too much on board or personally.

My parish life is very active and nourishing, if I really want to know what the Catholic Church teaches I will go to www.vatican.va or catholic.com or speak to my Priest.

Discussion/debate/questioning is healthy and the Church has a long tradition of this. I have never been admonished for asking questions and I have asked hundreds of questions as a new convert, except once and it was here on CAF, I posted a thread on chapel veils and it was deleted without explanation. I’m sure the admins had a reason.

Just as an example: when I read other Catholics calling others heretics I understand that persons statement is theirs to own and defend. It has no bearing on me or the Church. Although I have always found on CAF other posters who will take that head on.

Majority of Catholics don’t have the time to spend hours on the internet.

I don’t actively evangelise. I have a wide diversity of friends atheist/prots/muslim/hindu/buddhist/gay etc If they ask me about the faith and they do, I inform them.

My suggestion: it might be time stay away from the internet for a while. It’s affecting you personally and now it’s affecting your faith. It’s a virtual world of Catholicism, concentrate on your reality of Catholicism in your parish, your community, read books on Catholicism and talk to your priest.

 

[fred_conty]

JackVk,

It may be that you have been too long on CAF. Maybe take a rest and read some solid spiritual books with some good positive ideas without the argumentation.

And once in a while visit CAF to help those who seem to be in true need.

May God bless and keep you. May God’s face shine on you. May God be kind to you and give you peace.

 

[ptisme]

I intend on remaining a faithful Catholic for my whole life. But lately I have had a strained relationship with the idea of Catholicism. Here are my problems:

First, despite all these claims to “unity” of doctrine, I see the precise opposite in Catholic internet subculture. It seems like different apologists and “professional Catholic” figures, along with their fanboys, are constantly feuding and accusing each other of heresy. There’s also an attitude of “being Catholic means never having to say you’re sorry”. The problem is always with some external force.

Second, there is so much groupthink, and what atheist author H.P. Lovecraft called an “artificial conformity”. Independent thought of any kind has become synonymous with heterodoxy. This is not to say that syncretism or religious relativism are acceptable, but that the Church seems to demand the organizational culture of a termite colony.

For me, the Faith no longer feels like the Pearl of Great Price I once had; now it feels like a laundry list of doctrines that I must walk on eggshells to assent to without ever questioning, on pain of thought-crime. Despite all the apologetics, the faith seems so arbitrary. It’s like Ayn Rand’s dismissal of religious people in Atlas Shrugged: “a mystic is a man who chose the opinions of others over his own intellect. At the crossroads of ‘I know’ and ‘they say’, he chose to believe rather than to think’”.

Third, I am unable to evangelize. I can’t bring myself to do it after so many failures. Almost all my attempts to witness to Jesus are met not with hostility, but with an indifferent “cool story, bro.” It seems not like giving new life to others, but like intruding and micromanaging their lives.

Is there any solution to this? Why do I feel so disillusioned? What happened?

God doesn’t expect you to personally bring someone back into the fold. All He expects you to do is plant the seed… Spread the good Word and then let the Holy Spirit work on them. Pray for them. YOU personally can never “save” anyone. So stop taking on the weight of the worlds souls. Also, enjoy the gifts God has given you and be happy. Where there is Joy there is God.

 

[ptisme]

I intend on remaining a faithful Catholic for my whole life. But lately I have had a strained relationship with the idea of Catholicism. Here are my problems:

First, despite all these claims to “unity” of doctrine, I see the precise opposite in Catholic internet subculture. It seems like different apologists and “professional Catholic” figures, along with their fanboys, are constantly feuding and accusing each other of heresy. There’s also an attitude of “being Catholic means never having to say you’re sorry”. The problem is always with some external force.

Second, there is so much groupthink, and what atheist author H.P. Lovecraft called an “artificial conformity”. Independent thought of any kind has become synonymous with heterodoxy. This is not to say that syncretism or religious relativism are acceptable, but that the Church seems to demand the organizational culture of a termite colony.

For me, the Faith no longer feels like the Pearl of Great Price I once had; now it feels like a laundry list of doctrines that I must walk on eggshells to assent to without ever questioning, on pain of thought-crime. Despite all the apologetics, the faith seems so arbitrary. It’s like Ayn Rand’s dismissal of religious people in Atlas Shrugged: “a mystic is a man who chose the opinions of others over his own intellect. At the crossroads of ‘I know’ and ‘they say’, he chose to believe rather than to think’”.

Third, I am unable to evangelize. I can’t bring myself to do it after so many failures. Almost all my attempts to witness to Jesus are met not with hostility, but with an indifferent “cool story, bro.” It seems not like giving new life to others, but like intruding and micromanaging their lives.

Is there any solution to this? Why do I feel so disillusioned? What happened?

I had the pleasure of speaking at a Protestant men’s conference a few months back. One of the speakers was a Pastor named Pete Briscoe who went through a similar period of spiritual darkness as the one you described. I think his speech would be quite useful and perhaps just what the doctor ordered for you:
youtube.com/watch?v=XKb4b38lJDo

 

[Casilda]

JackVk,

It may be that you have been too long on CAF. Maybe take a rest and read some solid spiritual books with some good positive ideas without the argumentation.

And once in a while visit CAF to help those who seem to be in true need.

May God bless and keep you. May God’s face shine on you. May God be kind to you and give you peace.

Best advice! I was off of here for 6 months, came back for more book recommendations.

 

[the_phoenix]

Acknowledge God.
Take the next right step.
Be a sign of hope to those around you.