Friend, there is a huge difference between being a perpetual outcast type in this world, and being forever separated from God in the next. Like you, I am always alone, even in the middle of a crowd. That is a personality type, maybe even a personality defect, but not a sign of damnation!
You *are *part of this community the Church speaks of. Scanning through your old posts, I see a young man who has striven to serve God, to correct error, to speak truthfully and to do what is right. I don’t want to tempt you to spiritual pride, but come on! You ought to have some hope of salvation. Not a presumption of salvation, but a trust and a cooperation with God Who wills that you will live and grow holy through this life into the next.
The community that the Church speaks of is the Communion of the Saints. Happy, comfortable feelings of belonging *ought *to be part of belonging to the Church, but we are at present imperfect people in an imperfect world, and can’t count on having such feelings.
Maybe taking a step back from some of the online battles will help you cultivate peace of heart, but I hope you don’t disappear entirely and permanently from Catholic Answers.
Whatever you do, don’t cut yourself off from the sacraments. They will help you to live the moral life you aspire to.
