No Love for some people, hatred for others

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invisiblewitnes

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I am in a state of soul now where I have no love for certain people, and hatred for others, mostly in my family. I despise certain people, and have a disgusting desire for them to rot in Hell. I am almost of the mind, where if they were saved in Heaven, I would rather go to Hell than spend eternity with them. There is no mercy in my soul, and they will get none from me unless God gives me the supernatural grace to do so. But I am really at the lowest point right now, where I practically hate with vicious wrath almost everyone in my family and some people who claimed to be friends. You can probably see how much I need prayers. I hate them all. They are cruel, vicious, and Satanic in some cases. I am in despair, and want to be freed from the psychotic abuse. I can’t stand how much I just want them to rot in Hell. It is disgusting.
 
O Sacred Heart of Jesus, pray for us.

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace.
Where there is hatred, let me sow love;
where there is injury,pardon;
where there is doubt, faith;
where there is despair, hope;
where there is darkness, light;
and where there is sadness, joy.

O Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek
to be consoled as to console;
to be understood as to understand;
to be loved as to love.
For it is in giving that we receive;
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned;
and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.
Amen.
 
Forgiveness, especially among family and friends who hurt us, is one of the most difficult things to do. Even though we are commanded by Jesus to “love one another” and to “bless those who curse us” it is easier said than done.

By our own efforts, forgiveness is hard to come by, but when you ask Jesus for help, He will give you the strength you need to forgive the unforgiveable. What I mean is, when any family member or friend starts to get under your skin, it is then that you can turn to the Lord for help and say, “Lord, I can’t forgive these people in my heart. Please help me to forgive them as you forgave the good thief on the cross and all who condemned you to death. Help me to forgive them one day at a time until the day I can truly forgive them from my heart.” When you turn to Jesus as your source of strength, He will help lift you up and give you the grace you need so that in truth, you will be able to start the healing process of forgiveness.

Jesus commanded us to forgive others because the act of forgivness frees us from any bitterness or ill feelings we have towards that person and the individual no longer has a “hold” over us. No matter how difficult it is, forgiving family and friends is the first step towards following Jesus and walking closer with God.
 
There is several life changing books by Joyce Meters on improving your life and attitude.

That and singer Chris Tomlin singing Our God always cheers me up.
 
invisiblewitnes said:
I am in a state of soul now where I have no love for certain people, and hatred for others, mostly in my family.
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Please, rather then viewing yourself as having “no love” look at this state as being your decision to consent to some kind of sin. Instead of trying to find love for these people, rather focus on the sin inside yourself and try to abolish it by offering it up to God. At this point, try not to even think about your family members and the wrong doings that went on as it’s likely an occaison of sin for you to even think about it… this is a battle inside yourself between God and Satan and you’re the tie breaker in the equation. Satan will want you to revisit the details of the negative experiences in your mind and mull them over… DON’T DO IT! It’s a trap to lead you into hate and anger, especially when there’s no productive reason to be thinking about them (offer these thoughts up to God as soon as they pop into your head… before you even have a chance to start to feel anger). Don’t worry about fixing the problems that exist between you and your family right now, God can work these details out… for the time being just focus on fighting Satan and sin.

And extremely importantly, please pray the rosary daily especially when you don’t feel like doing it (your desire to not pray means that it’s upsetting Satan tremendously and causing him great pain).

If you persist in your prayers and your desire to fight Satan, I guarantee the hatred and anger will eventually leave you and you will once again be able to give yourself fully to God and feel sorry about having these feelings. Once you feel this sorrow, I would get to confession.

I will keep you in my prayer intentions. God bless!
 
Lord it seems that our friend cannot can’t cope with intense feelings interpreted as hate.
If one feel tortured, it is less hate than an inability to cope with intense feelings.

Please guide this person to ways of managing these feelings in a healthy and merciful. To persevere in such feelings harms others but most of all oneself.

Where it is helpful please guide this person to consider very carefully if any of the discord is provoked by his or her attitude and actions, and how he or she can improve others’ responses to him/her and and vice versa.

If that is not possible then perhaps some distance between these persons is necessary some distance between these people and you especially if the sense of others’ injustice is justified.

Feelings are one thing, but wishing others harm is very wrong.
Lord please determine this person to pray for others and not to wish them harm.
 
Despite the hatred you feel, the fact that it disgusts you, that you are seeking prayers and aid for your spiritual problems, should be an encouraging sign to you. There is good in you, a desire for love and peace. I think one verse of the Bible is the best answer to your problems, one I myself have battled due to many problems with people in my own family: Vengeance is mine, says the Lord. Even though human beings are called to have all mercy, all forgiveness, all compassion, this does not mean there is no justice. I’m not saying we should ask God to met out our hateful desire for others; this is not the case. We should always see other people as made in the image of God, originally good, made by and for God, but led off this past by an endless number of possible factors, whether their fault or not. We cannot truly know another’s mind, and if we try to do so, it usually only leads to more hate and confusion.

My point is that when someone wrongs you, God does not just forget it. Everyone will be held accountable for their sins - but not by you. Only God can do this, and you must leave it in His far wiser hands. Also, try to see that hating others does not hurt them. They continue living as they would otherwise. Hate only hurts you and distances yourself from God for no good reason. Trust God completely and utterly. If those people go to Heaven, it will be because God judged them worthy, and He would not allow injustice or evil to exist in His Kingdom, so if you are in Heaven with them, they will not have the sin you see in them now. Let it go; give it over to God.

I hope all this is clear enough. I pray for your sake, that you may release your hate and find peace in the complete surrender to God’s wisdom, mercy and justice. I also pray that you can transform your into love, just as Christ used the murderous sin of humanity to create the Resurrection and our salvation. I ask for the forgiveness of all your sins, as well as all the sins of those who have wronged you, and I ask for the intercession of the Blessed Virgin Mary, your guardian angel, and St. Therese of Lisieux, who asked the forgiveness of a prisoner just before his execution. God bless. 🙂

Eternal Father, I offer Thee the Most Precious Blood of Thy Divine Son, Jesus, in union with the Masses said throughout the world today, for all the holy souls in Purgatory, for sinners everywhere, for sinners in the universal Church, those in my own home and within my family. Amen.
 
invisiblewitnes said:
I am in a state of soul now where I have no love for certain people, and hatred for others, mostly in my family. I despise certain people, and have a disgusting desire for them to rot in Hell. I am almost of the mind, where if they were saved in Heaven, I would rather go to Hell than spend eternity with them. There is no mercy in my soul, and they will get none from me unless God gives me the supernatural grace to do so. But I am really at the lowest point right now, where I practically hate with vicious wrath almost everyone in my family and some people who claimed to be friends. You can probably see how much I need prayers. I hate them all. They are cruel, vicious, and Satanic in some cases. I am in despair, and want to be freed from the psychotic abuse. I can’t stand how much I just want them to rot in Hell. It is disgusting.
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Lord please help our friend to soften their heart and enable them to find forgeiveness for those who cause hurt and pain.Life can be very difficult when people hurt us and treat us so badly Lord please guide our friend and grant strength that he/she will be able to overcome these feelings and become stronger to be able to ignore their hurtful behaviours.Please grant him the ability to be able to have no ill feelings towards these family members who hurt him and that he can will have no dealings with them in order to not to continually be hurt.I pray he can live his life and learn to love these family members from a distance without them hurting him.Thankyou Lord for your many blessings Amen

Memorare (Prayer to Our Lady)
Remember, O most gracious Virgin Mary, that never was it known that anyone who fled to your protection, implored your help, or sought your intercession, was left unaided.
Inspired by this confidence, I fly unto you, O Virgin of virgins, my Mother. To you do I come, before you I stand, sinful and sorrowful. O Mother of the Word Incarnate, despise not my petitions, but in your mercy, hear and answer me. Amen
 
Lord, may Invisiblewitness find healing, strength and forgiveness in making an act of perfect contrition ASAP. May he forgive his family because you command it and so he can have his own sins forgiven. May he imitate you and Mary and say about his family: Father, forgive them for they know not what they do. Vengence is yours, Lord - not ours … please help Invisiblewitness to commit this problem to your hands so he does not lose his soul over it. Amen.
 
Our Father who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name. Thy kingdom come, thy will be
done, on earth as it is in heaven Give us this day our daily bread and forgive us our
trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us, and lead us not into temptation
but deliver us from evil. Amen

Hail Mary full of grace the Lord is with thee
blessed art thou among women and
blessed is the fruit of thy womb Jesus
Holy Mary mother of God pray for us
sinners now and at the hour of our death
Amen.

Glory Be to the Father, and to the Son, and to the Holy Spirit.
As it was in the beginning is now ever shall be world without end Amen
 
Our Father who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name. Thy kingdom come, thy will be
done, on earth as it is in heaven Give us this day our daily bread and forgive us our
trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us, and lead us not into temptation
but deliver us from evil. Amen

Hail Mary full of grace the Lord is with thee
blessed art thou among women and
blessed is the fruit of thy womb Jesus
Holy Mary mother of God pray for us
sinners now and at the hour of our death
Amen.

Glory Be to the Father, and to the Son, and to the Holy Spirit.
As it was in the beginning is now ever shall be world without end Amen
 
Memorare (Prayer to Our Lady)
Remember, O most gracious Virgin Mary, that never was it known that anyone who fled to your protection, implored your help, or sought your intercession, was left unaided.
Inspired by this confidence, I fly unto you, O Virgin of virgins, my Mother. To you do I come, before you I stand, sinful and sorrowful. O Mother of the Word Incarnate, despise not my petitions, but in your mercy, hear and answer me. Amen
 
Our Father who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name. Thy kingdom come, thy will be
done, on earth as it is in heaven Give us this day our daily bread and forgive us our
trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us, and lead us not into temptation
but deliver us from evil. Amen

Hail Mary full of grace the Lord is with thee
blessed art thou among women and
blessed is the fruit of thy womb Jesus
Holy Mary mother of God pray for us
sinners now and at the hour of our death
Amen.

Glory Be to the Father, and to the Son, and to the Holy Spirit.
As it was in the beginning is now ever shall be world without end Amen
 
Thank you for all your prayers. I am gradually improving, but a lot of people need healing. There is no such thing as forgiveness in my family or amongst many of my old friends. Please pray for God to teach myself and everyone I know true forgiveness and reconciliation.
 
invisiblewitnes said:
I am in a state of soul now where I have no love for certain people, and hatred for others, mostly in my family. … cut your post as mine was too long so had to remove words…
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The good news is that your at your lowest point right now, so things can only get better from here! Congrats! (and I am not teasing or joking).

I grew up severely abused and neglected and wound up hating my parents and grandmother (she was the one who was my primary caretaker). That transferred to me hating the world and everything in it. I saw no way out. I had terrible fantasies of doing horrible things to them.

What it tood for me was a couple of things. I needed to get away from them, out of that enviornent. And the toughest thing…I had to realize that even though they did horrible things to me on a daily basis, that basically screwed me over for life, what they did to me was inside me now, it had shaped my personality and my thinking. And the good news from that was that I could actually do something about it! Before that I was just stuck in hate. I wanted them dead. I felt they deserved it.

But by realizing that the problems (even though I nor anyone deserves anything like that) were rubbed off on me, I could do something about it. I trusted no one. I felt I needed a psychiatrist but felt if I told one what thoughts I was having I would wind up locked in a straight jacket and in a rubber room so I drank like a pig to try and cope the best I could. And then I started reading books about disfunctional familes and got validation that it wasn’t my fault and others had terrible experiences like I did. And from readng I found an escape and started to learn about myself and other people.

It was a process to be sure, eventually I moved out of their house into a homelss shelter to get help to learn how to live and learn how to get a job, etc. I had no money and no life skills and was very desperate. But it was the best thing I ever did for myself. If I didn’t do that I’d probably be a 45yo man living in their basement right now, totally in a shell and talking to no one, ever.

But I got help from the people who worked at the shelter and learned for the first time in my life what the word ‘support’ meant in the context of one person giving another support. Some of the counselors were bad, but there were some good one’s. I looked out for them and showed them I wanted to learn and change and volunteered at the shelter and eventually got a paid job there. Then I got to move into a 3/4 way house and still work at the shelter. Then I got a part time job doing laundry. Then I started working with mentally ill adults living in group homes.

I’m mentally ill myself. I have PTSD from my childhood and Major Depression as well. And extreme anxiety. Nightmares, etc, etc. But by reading those books (as I didn’t trust anyone so I turned to books, I figured anyone trying to help me must have an angle where they are trying to con me and hurt me). But in the shelter I was desperate enough to begin to listen to a few counselors there and could tell they were trying to help me. And so I chaced that help.

Now I’m married and have a son. I never thought I would ever have a relationship with a woman as I was a basket case in jr high school and high school. I was a ‘looser’. No duh, being raised by being beaten and molested, etc, etc… lucky I am alive. For a couple of years I drank so heavily I regularly woke up in cities not knowing where I was or how I got there. I was trying to hitchhike home and I didn’t even know where i was and was totally plastered. I slept behind bushes some nights. I walked miles and miles.

But if I can go through what I went through every day of my life for years and years and come out ‘OK’ (people can’t tell I"m mentally ill by looking at me or talking ot me, and that’s not the point anyway), if I can come out OK after being beaten and humiliated and pulled around by my hair at the age of 2 being screamed at by a drunken grandmother and molested by my mother, and growing up in a home that was chaotic and make it to where I am (and I still have problems), so can YOU.

I’ve only recently returned to the Catholic Church, going to confession for the first time in 17 years about 5 months ago. Boy, what a weight that lifted off my shoulders. And I find that my praying to get the negativity out of me and to be filled with good things helps me, little by little. It certainly takes my mind off my problems. And it calms me down.

I’ve been a drunk, a sex addict, a smoker, a food addict, a steroid addict, a food addict, and again a smoker. I have intentions to quit again. The stress got too much so I went back to a bad old habit. But I’ve managed to work for the same company for the past 18 years. I could have went on disability if I wanted when I went to the shelter, they would have helped me with that, but I felt I could learn to work and wanted to do that so did that.

Mostly I’m exhausted after work and spend my nights and weekends in bed…but it’s MY bed. And I have doctors who help me. And God and Jesus who help me. And all of those people can help you too. And I’m willing to try myself as I know what it’s like to be filled with hate. The thing about that is though, it’s like drinking poison and expecting the OTHER PERSON to get sick. It really hurts ourself. It’s hard to change that and takes time but I"m living proof it’s possible.

Don’t give up.
God Bless You and thanks for having the courage to share what your going through. That PROVES you have the strenght to continue on, fighting to get better and better!
Bill
 
Our Father who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name. Thy kingdom come, thy will be
done, on earth as it is in heaven Give us this day our daily bread and forgive us our
trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us, and lead us not into temptation
but deliver us from evil. Amen

Hail Mary full of grace the Lord is with thee
blessed art thou among women and
blessed is the fruit of thy womb Jesus
Holy Mary mother of God pray for us
sinners now and at the hour of our death
Amen.

Glory Be to the Father, and to the Son, and to the Holy Spirit.
As it was in the beginning is now ever shall be world without end Amen​

 
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