No marian devotion

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newangela

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Hello,

I converted to the Catholic Church 4 years ago and my two small children were baptized at the same time. I was raised in the church of christ, and also had some years in between as an agnostic. That’s the background.

Since my conversion, I have been trying so hard to develop a devotion to the Blessed Virgin. I have prayed the rosary faithfully, I’ve gone through the consecration to her heart twice, I’ve read books, I’ve prayed and prayed, and, to be completely honest, I feel nothing. No closeness, no devotion. I know faith isn’t about feelings, and I certainly respect her for her role in our Savior’s life and in the life of the church. I want to love her, but I just don’t.

I know some people think this can be related to our relationships with our own mothers. My mom and I are close. We spend a lot of time together, and we’ve gotten closer as I got older, got married, had children, etc. We aren’t a lot alike as our personalities are quite different, but I certainly love her.

So, after four years of trying hard and not having anything to show, what should I do? If the church believes a love for Mary is important, and I want to bring my children up in the faith, how can I pass something on to them I do not feel or have to give?

I would sincerely appreciate any advice…I feel like I’ve been beating my head against a wall, and I’m just so tired.

Angela
 
I would say…don’t worry over it. You are truly devoted to her anyway if you are living a life pleasing to her son. That is what Mary is all about…to lead you to her son. So you are devoted to her whether it seems so or not.

Just every now and again have a little conversation with her. It dosen’t have to be often. And a few words is all it takes.

May God bless and keep you. May God’s face shine on you. May God be kind to you and give you peace.
 
I also grew up Church of Christ. I’ve been Catholic for 13 years now, and it wasn’t until about the last couple of years that my love and devotion to Mary has developed. I say don’t worry about it. It will come to you at the right time. One thing that helped me was meditating on what she as a mother experienced. What did she feel? How did she react? What was she thinking? Watching the Passion of Christ really helped me. Watch Mary and see the pain in her eyes. She can relate to us as mothers because she has experienced all the worries, frustrations, joys, and trials of motherhood. Concentrate on that and maybe it will help you feel more connected to her.

God Bless!
 
Don’t worry! Devotion should be a natural thing, not something that you have to force. For some, it can take years to “fully develop” love for Our Lady. What I advise is reading some meditations and entrusting yourself to her maternal care each night before you go to sleep. Daily rosaries may help too.

God love you,
James
 
newangela said:
Hello,

I converted to the Catholic Church 4 years ago and my two small children were baptized at the same time. I was raised in the church of christ, and also had some years in between as an agnostic. That’s the background.

Since my conversion, I have been trying so hard to develop a devotion to the Blessed Virgin. I have prayed the rosary faithfully, I’ve gone through the consecration to her heart twice, I’ve read books, I’ve prayed and prayed, and, to be completely honest, I feel nothing. No closeness, no devotion. I know faith isn’t about feelings, and I certainly respect her for her role in our Savior’s life and in the life of the church. I want to love her, but I just don’t.

I know some people think this can be related to our relationships with our own mothers. My mom and I are close. We spend a lot of time together, and we’ve gotten closer as I got older, got married, had children, etc. We aren’t a lot alike as our personalities are quite different, but I certainly love her.

So, after four years of trying hard and not having anything to show, what should I do? If the church believes a love for Mary is important, and I want to bring my children up in the faith, how can I pass something on to them I do not feel or have to give?

I would sincerely appreciate any advice…I feel like I’ve been beating my head against a wall, and I’m just so tired.

Angela
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It could be a little like some saints, and Mother Teresa had, the Dark Night of the Soul. Just because we don’t feel anything doesn’t mean that our prayers aren’t taking effect.

I have a lot of difficulty feeling, myself, but I have come to accept it. I keep praying whether I feel close at that moment or not. I strive to pray the rosary daily, either way.

You would just teach your children that there may be times they may feel joy when praying, and there may be times they feel nothing. Whether they feel joy or nothing, the prayer is still valid.

In fact, some say prayers we say when feeling spiritual dryness are worth more than others when it’s easier.

Teach your children about Mary. If you feel something, you feel something. If you don’t, you don’t. At the end of the day, it doesn’t change the facts, either way. She still is our spiritual mother and theirs. Best they learn to love her from little.
 
Everyone, thanks for the thoughts. I do, actually, pray the rosary almost daily. And yet, if one were to ask me, I’d have to admit I do not feel close to Our Lady in any way. I want to, but I don’t.
 
Mary is a vital aspect of many Catholic’s relationship to God. However, our relationship is with Jesus in the Trinity. He is the focus of our faith and adoration and Mary would have it no other way.
If you find the devotional aspects of Mary’s place within the Church difficult, just concentrate on her Biblical reality; and the dogma surrounding her immaculate conception and assumption into heaven. Ensure your children have this basis as part of their catholic upbringing.
I would advise that you continue with the Rosary as it is such a holistic meditation on the Scriptures and is not centered on Mary if you look at the mysteries but on our Christ.
I am biased as I have an enormous devotion to Our Lady and can see why Christ wants to elevate our devotion to her as His Mother.
I don’t see her as a co-redemptive as some would place her too close to the role of Jesus as our only redemption, however I see her power as an advocate for all of us as she stands before the cross.
Don’t be hard on yourself if there is a dryness to your devotion. Focus instead on what must be our only eventual focus Jesus our Christ, and His will will guide your spiritual life at His will.
 
My “devotion” if you will, is that I admire her greatly.
I can’t imagine how she held it together during the Passion. When I feel like life is too hard, I look to her and her life. As another poster said, she exists not to bring us to herself, but to lead us to her Son.
Keep that perspective as you meditate on the mysteries, for they are the life of Christ.
Sometimes, when I feel like crying, I say “Blessed Mother…you had a true reason to cry, yet you trusted your Son in all things. Give me strength, keep me from simply crying and not trusting God’s will for me.” Each time, I have been overcome with courage, and held back tears when I would have been ridiculed for crying.
I try to remind myself that she is the example for Christian women. I love her. And I know she intercedes for me.
Don’t worry about having a “devotion” to her. She’s there for you…she’s never expecting anything but our deep love for her Son.
God bless you!
pianist
 
Pax Christi!

There are lots of other devotions. Our Lord’s Sacred Heart, Holy Face and Holy Wounds, St. Joseph, the Holy Angels, St. Christina the Astonishing (really!), or any saint. Find some devotion that warms your heart.

The Catholic Church is a smorgasbord!

God bless.
 
pianistclare said:
My “devotion” if you will, is that I admire her greatly.
I can’t imagine how she held it together during the Passion. When I feel like life is too hard, I look to her and her life. As another poster said, she exists not to bring us to herself, but to lead us to her Son.
Keep that perspective as you meditate on the mysteries, for they are the life of Christ.
Sometimes, when I feel like crying, I say “Blessed Mother…you had a true reason to cry, yet you trusted your Son in all things. Give me strength, keep me from simply crying and not trusting God’s will for me.” Each time, I have been overcome with courage, and held back tears when I would have been ridiculed for crying.
I try to remind myself that she is the example for Christian women. I love her. And I know she intercedes for me.
Don’t worry about having a “devotion” to her. She’s there for you…she’s never expecting anything but our deep love for her Son.
God bless you!
pianist
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I once saw a friend who had been in a car accident who was at the hospital. I almost fainted! Then, it was in Mexico, and they stitched him up without anesthesia. I couldn’t bear it, had to leave the room.

I agree. I don’t know how Mary withstood it.
 
newangela said:
Hello,

I converted to the Catholic Church 4 years ago and my two small children were baptized at the same time. I was raised in the church of christ, and also had some years in between as an agnostic. That’s the background.

Since my conversion, I have been trying so hard to develop a devotion to the Blessed Virgin. I have prayed the rosary faithfully, I’ve gone through the consecration to her heart twice, I’ve read books, I’ve prayed and prayed, and, to be completely honest, I feel nothing. No closeness, no devotion. I know faith isn’t about feelings, and I certainly respect her for her role in our Savior’s life and in the life of the church. I want to love her, but I just don’t.

I know some people think this can be related to our relationships with our own mothers. My mom and I are close. We spend a lot of time together, and we’ve gotten closer as I got older, got married, had children, etc. We aren’t a lot alike as our personalities are quite different, but I certainly love her.

So, after four years of trying hard and not having anything to show, what should I do? If the church believes a love for Mary is important, and I want to bring my children up in the faith, how can I pass something on to them I do not feel or have to give?

I would sincerely appreciate any advice…I feel like I’ve been beating my head against a wall, and I’m just so tired.

Angela
Click to expand...
I say your love and devotion to our mother is very strong. Continue this devotion you have for her and you will see surely see fruits of it.
 
I think the communion of saints, of which the Mother of God is the greatest member, is one of the great beauties that most Protestants miss out on. I grew up in a Protestant family, and I always felt it lacking, not because it was “just Jesus,” but because Protestants ignore His family, the saints. From the time I fumbled through my first rosary to the first statues and icons of her I bought, loving Mary was as natural as breathing.

But some practical advice. Perhaps you have a favorite statue/icon: Immaculate Heart, Our Lady of Perpetual Help, Our Lady Undoer of Knots, OL of Guadalupe, etc., that you could spend some time in front of each day. Just talk to her like she’s an old friend. If the rosary doesn’t work for you, there are other ways to talk to her. (The Byzantine Akathist Hymn to Mary is an AMAZING prayer, as is the marian hymn O Pure Virgin by St. Nectarios, which I’m including a link to below.)

She’s there in your life, praying for you, one of the “great cloud of witnesses.”

youtube.com/watch?v=WkqZbFQb0O0
 
When I became a Catholic I also thought devotion to Mary was something that I should have. I also tried, as it were, to ‘hothouse’ it. And I also didn’t succeed. Now, 18 or so years later, I love her dearly.

What happened in the meantime? I’m not entirely sure, the Holy Spirit works in mysterious ways. One factor, I know, was that I read something by John Paul II it becomes the great maternal counsel which Mary addresses to the Church of every age: “Do whatever he tells you” (Jn 2:5) It’s not just that it is good advice but it made me think more deeply about what role our Lady played in our Lords mission as recorded in Scripture. The more I reflected upon it the more clear it became to me just how transparent to God Mary was and is. Someone so loved by each person of the Holy Trinity must be intrinsically loveable. I made little lists like this one-

Gabriel called her full of grace
St Elizabeth said that she was blessed among women
Simeon prophesied that a sword would pierce her own soul because of her Son’s suffering
She was a model of contemplation, pondering these things in her heart
Jesus chose to be obedient to her
She prompted His first public miracle
She stood by His Cross
She was the object of our Lords love and concern even in the midst of His own agonising death
The Apostles gathered around her in prayer.
As she was present at the birth of Jesus (Christmas) so too was she present at the birth of His body the Church (Pentecost)

And there’s lots more I could put in. So even if you confine yourself to Scripture alone (to coin a phrase) The life of Mary is interwoven with the life of Jesus. You can’t come to the one without coming to the other. So perhaps whenever you lovingly think of this or that aspect of Jesus you might take a few moments to think about Mary is present in that aspect too, chances are she is. And in time you might find that she has made her way into your heart.

There are many other places in Scripture which might set you thinking about our Lady. Recently I blogged about one A Gentle and Peaceful Spirit perhaps it might help you to see more clearly what I mean.
 
newangela said:
Everyone, thanks for the thoughts. I do, actually, pray the rosary almost daily. And yet, if one were to ask me, I’d have to admit I do not feel close to Our Lady in any way. I want to, but I don’t.
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Hello newangela,
It can happen that at times when you don’t feel close to our Lady, Jesus, or God, you may be very close to them. As you said in your original post, faith isn’t about feelings for we walk by faith in this life and God or our Lady doesn’t always give us the grace to feel close to them. Sanctity and holiness does not consist in feelings, though at times God may give us graces of consolation, but it consist in our will being one with the will of our Lady and God. That you pray the rosary almost daily, have consecrated yourself to Mary, and want to love Mary is very pleasing to our Lady even if you do not feel it.
Jesus said “if anyone wants to be a follower of mine, let him take up his cross daily and follow me.” Now it was God’s will that Christ redeem the entire world by his sacrifice on the cross in which he did not feel close to the Father, for Jesus said while hanging on the cross “My God, My God, why hast thou forsaken me.”
St John of the Cross, the Mystical Doctor, says that the journey to union with God, our goal, “does not consist in recreations, experiences, and spiritual feelings, but in the living, sensory and spiritual exterior and interior death of the cross.”
God often gives us graces of consolation when He knows we need them so that we may not get discouraged and to help us to keep following His way and because of the weakness of our souls. This happens most often in the beginning of our spiritual life. If we remain faithful, God usually weans us from these consolations to make us stronger and to become more like Christ which is to follow the way of the cross.
 
Angela, St Louis de Montfort can help you much better than I can. He wrote one of the most beautiful (and “easy to understand”) books on why we should love Blessed Mother Mary. It is called “True Devotion to Mary”…

amazon.com/True-Devotion-Mary-Preparation-Consecration/dp/0895551543/ref=sr_1_2?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1398870848&sr=1-2&keywords=true+devotion+to+mary

If you don’t mind, I’d like to offer you some practical advice on how to “find” Mother Mary in your spiritual life’s journey. First of all, stop trying so hard. In the frustrating effort to find what we ‘think’ is proper feelings for Mary, the mother of Jesus, we end up looking at ourselves too much. Second…simply put the challege to Her. Ask Her to show you what a true mother she is to you. Third…then, be patient. Circumstances may start happening in your life which will lead you to Her. The ball is in Her court now. And She will not fail you – guaranteed! 🙂
 
Newangela,

There is a huge difference between loving and respecting Mary and her role in our salvation, and having a *“devotion” *to her.

From what you have written, it seems you do love and accept what Mary’s role is, why are you looking for something else? Do you feel that, as a Catholic, you “must” practice a specific devotion to her?

I do not practice any particular devotion to Mary. I am not a huge prayer of the Rosary either. :eek: (I know, and I dare to call myself a Catholic?! :rolleyes: ), but I do love her and pray for her intercession at times. The best advice I was ever given was "Pray as you can, not as you can’t. What matters is that you pray! " 😃

In time, if/when the Holy Spirit moves you, you may come to find a devotion to her, or you may not. Either way, it’s OK!

Peace be with you on your journey. 🙂
newangela said:
Hello,

I converted to the Catholic Church 4 years ago and my two small children were baptized at the same time. I was raised in the church of christ, and also had some years in between as an agnostic. That’s the background.

Since my conversion, I have been trying so hard to develop a devotion to the Blessed Virgin. I have prayed the rosary faithfully, I’ve gone through the consecration to her heart twice, I’ve read books, I’ve prayed and prayed, and, to be completely honest, I feel nothing. No closeness, no devotion. I know faith isn’t about feelings, and I certainly respect her for her role in our Savior’s life and in the life of the church. I want to love her, but I just don’t.

I know some people think this can be related to our relationships with our own mothers. My mom and I are close. We spend a lot of time together, and we’ve gotten closer as I got older, got married, had children, etc. We aren’t a lot alike as our personalities are quite different, but I certainly love her.

So, after four years of trying hard and not having anything to show, what should I do? If the church believes a love for Mary is important, and I want to bring my children up in the faith, how can I pass something on to them I do not feel or have to give?

I would sincerely appreciate any advice…I feel like I’ve been beating my head against a wall, and I’m just so tired.

Angela
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