No meat on Friday

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In our family we have started to abstain from meat all Friday’s of the year as our family penance and to add whatever personal penance on top of that we might feel the need. My parents are wonderfully loving and we spend a lot of time with them. However I was brought up Baptist (converted when I finished college and got my own home out of respect) and DH and I never know how to approach this subject with them. We just know that sometime soon we will be with them during a mealtime on a Friday.

During lent my mother has seemed (while not happy) accommodating to our religious traditions and would cook something meatless or encourage a restaurant where meatless meals are offered. My father is less so and says things like “God doesn’t care what you eat.” They really are kind to us and try to show us that they are willing to participate. They never gave an indication that they didn’t want to attend our wedding or our son’s christenings.

They understand a bit of why we did not eat meat on Friday’s during lent. How can we explain (given my father’s attitude) why we have decided that as a family we will abstain from meat all Friday’s of the year? I have printed an article from fisheaters.com but worry that it will come across as too ‘Catholic’ to make sense. (I’m sorry if this is a silly fear.) I really just want us to be able to present this to my parents in a respectful way that will be easy for them to understand even if they don’t agree.

Thanks for any help and suggestions.🙂
 
If they could understand the idea of abstainig meat on Fridays during lent, could you explain your year-long abstinence as recognition this way:
Every sunday is a celebration of the original Easter, so now each Friday is your rememberence of the original Good Friday. Perhaps they’d understand those terms.

mary

Edited to say:
Don’t worry about what your parents think. My cradle Catholic Parents think we’re a bit nutty to abstain every Friday.
 
We are expected to make a sacrafice on Fridays to honor the one Christ made for us. Meatless is (from what I understand) the basic. However, the local Bishop may release the faithful from that rule. So here is what I do. I try to avoid meat on Fridays. If I can not (politely) I plan for another sacrafice to offset.
 
when eating in someone else’s home you can mention your dietary preference, but it is manners to take what is served, eat waht you can, and leave the rest (eat before you go if you are afraid of going hungry). No need to engage in discussion, debate or explanations of your diet, allergies, religious preference etc.
 
puzzleannie said:
when eating in someone else’s home you can mention your dietary preference, but it is manners to take what is served, eat waht you can, and leave the rest (eat before you go if you are afraid of going hungry). No need to engage in discussion, debate or explanations of your diet, allergies, religious preference etc.
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👍 👍

If it does come up - simply point to the Bible passages that stress the importance of fasting, and let them know this is a type of fast you have decided to observe.
 
It is simply healthy to eat fish once a week! And, it helps one control one’s food intake, by having a regime such as no meat on Fridays. Anyway there are a grand number of dishes that use soy products or beans. Evidently the cook doesn’t like to do fish. Since we have been abstaining, I have made a variety of pizzas, we have salmon, tilapia, albacore, walleye, perch, etc. No lobster needed. I do not like to explain it in terms of diet, Catholics may forget that we are supposed to do something special on Fridays, and that is my way of getting out the ridicule, if it happens. I had tried to be a vegetarian one time, and, it was something that really bothered a brother of mine. I believe that what followed that effort was a stronger Catholic Faith, even with a return to a regular diet. It is healthy to fast and abstain, as, the alternative is being overweight and obesity. Remember to pray more too, prepare for Mass with readings read ahead of time, etc. A lot of extra things, do Catholics often do, just tell them that! Save the treats for Sunday, too. Don’t we think that the Holidays will be more enjoyable, if we didn’t feast all year round.
 
newbetx said:
We are expected to make a sacrafice on Fridays to honor the one Christ made for us. Meatless is (from what I understand) the basic. However, the local Bishop may release the faithful from that rule. So here is what I do. I try to avoid meat on Fridays. If I can not (politely) I plan for another sacrafice to offset.
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Yet we’re not required to abstain, except during Lent. Some other form of penance — an act of charity or extra Rosary – is all right.
 
Just for a quippy comeback to the “God doesn’t care what you eat” comment: Tell that to an Orthodox Jew! 😃

The fact is that, while the discipline of abstaining from meat is not required of us EVERY Friday anymore, we are supposed to be substituting some other form of penance for it. So, we could also legitimately choose to abide by the rule of fasting on Friday for penance, and not substitute something else for it.
 
Since this is a self-imposed and not a required point of Church discipline, if you MUST go to your parents’ home on a Friday, and serving a non-meat meal causes tension between your parents (Marge, why do you put yourself out fer them mackerel snappers? There’s no reason a man can’t have red meat any day of the week. And who are they to tell us what to eat in our own home?), I would say eat what is put in front of you and say, “thank you.”

Chalk it up to “Honor thy mother and thy father.”
 
If your get together falls on a Friday, why not invite them to your house and you prepare the meal? That way you can control what you eat. Or else, decide to meet at a restraunt. Most, it not all, restraunts offer vegetarian selections.

If you absolutely have to go to their house on a Friday, I would be polite and either eat what they serve on fast on another day or eat what is presented that you can (i.e., veggies, breads, pasta, et cetera) and eat later at home 😃
 
puzzleannie said:
when eating in someone else’s home you can mention your dietary preference, but it is manners to take what is served, eat waht you can, and leave the rest (eat before you go if you are afraid of going hungry). No need to engage in discussion, debate or explanations of your diet, allergies, religious preference etc.
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I agree. Charity is more important than penances, no matter how good. St. Paul admonished us to think of the sensibilities of our weaker brethren and not offend them. He was talking about not partaking of meat offered to idols, but the same principle applies. If the OP and family have occasion to eat at their non-Catholic relatives’ home on a Friday, there’s no need to say anything. The Catholic family can offer up a rosary on the way home in the car if meat is served and they eat it. The intention to do penance is more important than the actual act chosen for penance.
 
Just a post to affirm your decision to practice the age old Church tradition of abstaining from meat on Fridays. We’ve been doing this for several years now.

The only “practicing” Catholics in our family are my H’s parent’s and they think we’re too extreme in practicing the faith too…you know, mentioning The Ten Commandments, eating no meat on Fridays, praying before EVERY meal, doing the sign of the cross before praying before meals, not taking the Lord’s Name in vain…

You know, crazy stuff 😃
Hang in there, it’s to Him we answer.

“Jesus I Trust in You”
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