No pleasure from masturbation and CCC

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GospelOfMatthew

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As some or perhaps most of you may know, I have had struggles with pornography and masturbation since I was 12YO and I am now 20YO and actively fighting both as well as offering help and advice for others struggling.

I have been reflecting today on the CCC definitions of masturbation and pornography and I went and read some prior discussions of these on CAF but haven’t found an exact answer that makes sense. Both of these refer to ‘pleasure’ as part of the sin, let me list the two CCC definitions:

_ “Pornography consists in removing real or simulated sexual acts from the intimacy of the partners, in order to display them deliberately to third parties. It offends against chastity because it perverts the conjugal act, the intimate giving of spouses to each other. It does grave injury to the dignity of its participants (actors, vendors, the public), since each one becomes an object of base pleasure and illicit profit for others. It immerses all who are involved in the illusion of a fantasy world. It is a grave offense. Civil authorities should prevent the production and distribution of pornographic materials.”_ - CCC 2354

”By masturbation is to be understood the deliberate stimulation of the genital organs in order to derive sexual pleasure. "Both the Magisterium of the Church, in the course of a constant tradition, and the moral sense of the faithful have been in no doubt and have firmly maintained that masturbation is an intrinsically and gravely disordered action."138 “The deliberate use of the sexual faculty, for whatever reason, outside of marriage is essentially contrary to its purpose.” For here sexual pleasure is sought outside of “the sexual relationship which is demanded by the moral order and in which the total meaning of mutual self-giving and human procreation in the context of true love is achieved.” - CCC 2352

I understand why these are sinful and I understand both can be mortal sins. What I do not understand is, when I have fallen to both of these in the past, I was never tempted because of the pleasure I’d get from them, frankly I get no physical pleasure from them. I’ve read there is a chemical release of endorphins and that is why people enjoy it/are tempted to it. I have not ever experienced this feeling of enjoyment. For me, it has always been an compulsive and habitual thing that I start to obsess about, never about the pleasure and I don’t even get any pleasure from it. Is this because I have desensitized myself because I did these acts for 8 years? I don’t think I ever found physical pleasure from them, like I said it’s compulsion that tempts me not the pleasure/enjoyment because there is none. I wonder then if these are not mortal sins for me because they are strictly habitual but either way I confess them when needed.

Not sure why I don’t get physical pleasure from the acts (I don’t want any because that will only be another tempt) but I wonder if I have some bodily issue that I should speak to a doctor about? I’m having trouble understanding this pleasure aspect when helping others when I myself haven’t experienced pleasure
 
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I don’t think I ever found physical pleasure
There is no way to answer you without getting too graphic and I know there are children on the forum. As a man I will say that feeling no pleasure sounds odd but then again you were a teenager when these events occurred. As I remember, it didn’t take much to set things off at that age. Anyway, I wouldn’t worry much about it now but it might set your mind at ease to talk to your doctor. They can ask more probing questions to give you an answer.
 
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Yes I don’t want to get too graphic here. When I was 16 or so (before I knew this was a sin) I was concerned I wasn’t “doing it right” because my friends talked about all the pleasure they got and I never did. Perhaps as embarrassing as this may sound, I’m still not sure when I have fallen to these sins that I was “doing it right”. (But I do not care to be informed, I just want to make sure I’m not having a biological problem). Without getting into any specifics this is where my concern lies since vulgar terms for masturbation don’t fit my experiences. But I will not get into more detail here for the sake of protecting innocence of those reading
 
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All I’ll say is when I indulged in the sin habitually some years in the past, it was pleasurable. You should ask your doctor the biology questions. As for whether or not its a sin, it still grave matter. It’s not just about the pleasure, but about the perversion of faculties.
 
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If you literally get no pleasure from it then I would recommend seeing a doctor. That’s not really how it’s supposed to be.
 
And this is why I wonder if I haven’t “been doing it right”. Why are people addicted to it? I assumed it’s because of a pleasure release? But I have never experienced this. For me it’s been habitual as something to be regular with since I over-analyzes things and when I’m nervous and stressed that’s when the tempts come. But never once have I been tempted to engage in these acts because I would enjoy them or get pleasure from them (since I don’t), this seems a 100% foreign concept to me
 
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For sure it is grave matter because it’s a disordered and objectifying and degrading act and perverts what sex is intended for. But since it is habitual I wonder if that mitigates it from mortal sin. Sounds like I have a very unusual situation? I hope I do not have some biological issue which will effect me down the road if I ever am married, if that is my vocation
 
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There are a lot of strange things when it comes to sex. Ever heard of PGAD? Some women suffer from it and in the past doctors didn’t pay much attention to it.

It is a condition that has been reported by some that it makes their lives absolute hell. Persistant Genital Arousal Disorder is something they do not want, but it’s there all the time. Maybe you don’t have a condition equivalent to what these women have, but you may have some other condition since you are a man. It could be just like that, and you may need to sort things out with a doctor.
 
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Not sure why I don’t get physical pleasure from the acts (I don’t want any because that will only be another tempt) but I wonder if I have some bodily issue that I should speak to a doctor about? I’m having trouble understanding this pleasure aspect when helping others when I myself haven’t experienced pleasure
Anhedonia is a symptom of major depressive disorder as well as great stress, great anxiety, and of some prescription medication.

Not every sin related to sexual thoughts and acts is covered by what you posted, however, lust is more generally applicable.

The Catechism is clear that the disordered desire for sexual pleasure is also lust, not merely inordinate enjoyment of it.

Catechism
2351 Lust is disordered desire for or inordinate enjoyment of sexual pleasure. Sexual pleasure is morally disordered when sought for itself, isolated from its procreative and unitive purposes.
 
The important part of sexual sin is that God does not hate you for the acts. God’s love is unconditional. Sexual faculties were given ultimately to bring one closer to God. The physical and biochemical sensations are one the physical manifestations of marital grace.

When the CCC talks of “pleasure”, it is speaking of the various bodily sensations of sex. Outside of marriage, these sensations have no meaning. They can certainly be pleasurable, but not necessarily. They can compulsive and addictive, as you seem to have experienced.

In the context of marriage, these sensations help bring a couple closer to God. However, the context of a loving, supporting relationship is essential. Absent the full context of a loving marriage, sex tends to distract from God.

In a sexual addiction situation, the distraction from God can be profound. One is so distracted by sex, they cannot feel God’s love!

With self-stimulation, the primary risk is social isolation - the exact opposite of a loving marital relationship. The physical sensations may not be “pleasurable”, because the context is spiritual pain, numbness, or loneliness.

The spiritual remedy is to build positive habits and relationships to fill the underlying void. The important thing is to actively seek God’s love and grace. You may fall repeatedly, but realize God is your ally!

The catechism use of the word “pleasure” is only as metaphor for the physical sensations of sex outside of there proper context of marriage. These sensations can certainly be deliberately abused for mere pleasure. However, in a addiction situation, the sensations have a disordered tendency towards suffering. The solution is positive actions to mitigate and reduce, and hopefully eliminate this suffering.
 
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