No Prospects on Where to Go or What to do

[ssa_fellow]

I’m in a real rough spot. I really don’t know what to do with my life. I mean, I really feel backed up against a corner. The past 2 years have been difficult, and even before that. I had worked a job for about a year. I made some money, but enough to pay rent anywhere. So, basically, on the generosity of my friends and people I knew at the Church I stayed on couches and in a spare room of one family. For about a year and a half. I was also taking time off from school during that time.

This semester was the first time I’d been back in school in 2 years. And, I won’t be going to school in the Spring. Quite frankly, idk if I’ll go back to school again. This makes me a college drop out. Everything I’ve written so far only makes sense understanding that my relationship with my family is horrible. Before I got a job and lived on my friends couch, I lived with my mom, in another state. Very far away from school. And things between my dad and I are terrible.

Obviously I have same-sex attractions, and maybe read any of my other threads to get good context on that. No seriously, maybe read another thread of mine before responding. I don’t have the time to get into all of the same-sex attraction stuff.

I’ve been unable to go back to school. I’ve felt completely unsupported. My dad is constantly using money as a leverage tool to hold over my head. So, I had to worry about it ALWAYS. I never had stability. Again, in the past 2 years I lived on friends’ couches for like 8 months, and I lived in a older couple’s spare room for like 8 months as well.

My dad helped me pay rent on a house to go back to school. I was also working a job still. Well, I lost that job through a management/ ownership change. Anyways, I haven’t spoken with my dad in 2 months. I really don’t know where to go. I’m guessing he won’t be paying for rent in January. And there’s little chance I’ll even have time to look for a job until after Christmas. I’ve been unable to find a job the last 2 months anyways…

I want to run away to a monastery. That’s what I’ve been thinking of for the past month or so. Idk if I have any other prospects. Or a lay community that’s next to a monastery.

I’m young and I want to work. But I really don’t want to work in the world. I’ll be so depressed if I have to do that. If I have to work at like a McDonalds or some ****** job like that just to pay rent. And all my co-workers always talk about their relationships. And I’m just a lonely gay virgin who cries himself to sleep at night and hates his life.

I want to run away to a monastery.
At the end of this semester (next week), I’ll actually be visiting some Benedictines with my friends. And, quite frankly, idk why I would leave. I have no prospects. Aren’t there places the Church has for laypeople who are single? Like, even if I can’t join a monastery bc I’m SSA, doesn’t the Church have communities for lay people to just farm next to monasteries?

The Church used to have those. Did she decide to get rid of those? Were all of those just done away with?

Yes my situation is dire. And I can’t think of a better way out of it. I don’t really have any prospects… If y’all can think of anything, let me know. I posted this here for advice, not prayers. I think I’ll make a prayer intentions thread after this…

 

[Alex_H]

I am just an RCIA candidate but I thought that someone could become a monastic, regardless of their sexuality, as long as they stay chaste. Don’t give up hope, friend. God has a plan for you. I don’t know a lot of scripture but here is one that comforts me in dark times:

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me;

 

[crystal_waters]

Obviously I have same-sex attractions, and maybe read any of my other threads to get good context on that. No seriously, maybe read another thread of mine before responding. I don’t have the time to get into all of the same-sex attraction stuff.

I want to run away to a monastery. That’s what I’ve been thinking of for the past month or so. Idk if I have any other prospects. Or a lay community that’s next to a monastery.

I want to run away to a monastery.
At the end of this semester (next week), I’ll actually be visiting some Benedictines with my friends. And, quite frankly, idk why I would leave. I have no prospects. Aren’t there places the Church has for laypeople who are single? Like, even if I can’t join a monastery bc I’m SSA, doesn’t the Church have communities for lay people to just farm next to monasteries?

The Church used to have those. Did she decide to get rid of those? Were all of those just done away with?

…

Hi I cant see why having ssa would prevent you having a vocation to priesthood or religious life as in either of them you would be taking a vow of celibacy or chastity so you wont be acting on any ssa attractions

Each religious order is different and while one may not appeal to you another may suit you and feel like “home”…so try and explore as many religious orders as you can so you can discern where you feel called to…also another option is to consecrated life in the church as a hermit or anchor…there are hermits that live in communities (like a monastery for hermits) and then hermits that live alone…so if having others around you appeals to you but you want silence and a life of prayer then maybe you could look into a community of hermits…

God bless you for keeping yourself pure…i know you feel lonely but this could be God handing you your cross and testing you to see if you will walk with him to Calvary (follow him by entering a vocation)

May God bless you

Crystal waters

 

[Trident_H]

Hey man. I get this. I mean I understand the loneliness here. The helpless place you feel you’re in. I mean we’ve got more than a few things in common. You and I. We’re both struggling with a SSA issue. We’re both trying to stay on the right side of that. We’re both fighting that together.

We also both have no real father relationships. I mean mine’s pretty complicated. But I don’t have at this point any family to talk to. I’m pretty much on the outside of that.

And we’ve both spent some time in hopeless hangouts. Trying to get on our feet. At the mercy of friends and strangers. Just for a roof. Yeah. I know that.

But now I’m in a bit of a better place. I mean I’m still on my own in some ways. But at least I’ve got a small room to myself. And I’m working. I’m staying out of trouble. And I’m staying pure. And being as good as I can.

So what I can offer you here. What I can really show up and mean in a real way. Is that I feel you man. I know where you’re at. I know the hopeless feeling in that. But what I also want to give you is some hope. And some friendship. And to let you know that you’re not alone. Not by half. There’s a whole group of us in this. In this same way. Fighting our demons. Trying to be true. So we’ve got a FB group. Where we all hang out. And support each other. It’s a private group. So it’s not on your feed.

If you want to know more PM me. Or even if you just want to talk. Or vent. Or whatever. My line’s open. I’m here for you man.

Peace ssa fellow. You’re not alone. Not at all.

-Trident

 

[crystal_waters]

In 2005 a senior Vatican official confirmed a report in Corriere della Sera that gay men who are closeted and chaste (abstain from sexual activity) for at least three years will still be allowed to become priests

,

The General Chapter of the Dominican Order held in Caleruega in 1995 “affirmed that the same demands of chastity apply to all brethren of whatever sexual orientation, and so no one can be excluded on this ground”.[32]

In February 2006, the president of the Conference of Religious of Spain, Alejandro Fernández Barrajón declared that “[sexual and affective] maturity is what must be insisted on, when selecting candidates for priesthood or religious life. Conditioning persons on their sexual orientation is not evangelical. Jesus would not do so”.

The above two quotes are from this link that may be helpful to you regarding ssa and vocations to the religious life and priesthood

en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Homosexuality_and_Roman_Catholic_priests

 

[ssa_fellow]

The above two quotes are from this link that may be helpful to you regarding ssa and vocations to the religious life and priesthood

en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Homosexuality_and_Roman_Catholic_priests

Thank you. Thats the teaching. Obviously in practice I’m sure there are some corners of the Church that never accept people with SSA. Anyways… 3 years sounds like an impossibly long time for me. I mean, I’ve never done anything with another man, but I do have a pornography problem.

I wish the Church had more lay communities. Religious Life is so stressed. There are multiple religious orders in every state. I feel like the lay communities are certainly very few and far between. There’s only one I know of here, and its for drug addicts. And the laity are the vast majority of the Church… so, considering that, I think most ppl would agree that lay communities are a very rare thing.

Then again, most lay people get married, so that’s community for them: having families. The people who don’t do that are truly on the margins of the Church in many ways. I wish the Church would try to change that, I think Pope Francis wishes that as well.

 

[crystal_waters]

Thank you. Thats the teaching. Obviously in practice I’m sure there are some corners of the Church that never accept people with SSA. Anyways… 3 years sounds like an impossibly long time for me. I mean, I’ve never done anything with another man, but I do have a pornography problem.

I wish the Church had more lay communities. Religious Life is so stressed. There are multiple religious orders in every state. I feel like the lay communities are certainly very few and far between. There’s only one I know of here, and its for drug addicts. And the laity are the vast majority of the Church… so, considering that, I think most ppl would agree that lay communities are a very rare thing.

Then again, most lay people get married, so that’s community for them: having families. The people who don’t do that are truly on the margins of the Church in many ways. I wish the Church would try to change that, I think Pope Francis wishes that as well.

But you can tell them you are already chaste and that you have never done anything with anybody …you have already surpassed the three year requirement …

Another thing you could think of doing is starting your own catholic religious order if you cant find one that appeals to you…regular folk can do it…you just need help and guidance on the steps of what to do from a priest and bishop…if you did that it would give you a bit more control of what order you want to be part of…

Dont give up if you feel you have a vocation to the religious life or priesthood…remember nothing is impossible with God…just keep praying and keep focused on your vocation and someday when you are a priest or monk or hermit etc you will look back and see that it will have all been worth it

God bless you

Crystal waters

 

[lilpoppie]

I nave a nice bird thy fell in love with a yellow-green pincher

 

[Vic_Taltrees_UK]

How to survive the gap, the years in between meanwhile, is the question, clearly.

Just said another Our Father for you.