No sex after baby

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Hello there.

After baby number four was born seven months ago my wife has cut me off from sex completely. She says she does not want to get pregnant again until she starts her cycle again. With no plans to stop breast feeding this has become quite the sticking point in our marriage and could very well continue for another 6 months. Has anyone else gone through this? Any advice to share? Thank you.
 
I’d suggest you two schedule a meeting with your NFP instructor to get a refresher on the post-partum observations for the method you use.
 
I wish, us men, could take turns with the childbirth!

It’s not easy for a woman, or to recover.

But it’s also not easy for men to go months without!

Good answers so far… hope you get through this time!
 
Pure and simple- no more kids. No matter how I try nothing has worked.
 
Do you disagree about a possible 5th pregnancy, or are you struggling to be abstinent?
 
I mean it with all my heart, and I was with my wife during a 36 hour labor… requiring stitches!

But I also mean that it’s not easy for a young man to go months without intimacy!

Just a very challenging thing.

For sure it requires tenderness, communication, researching, prayer, etc.

All of which we did not do so well with.
 
She has given you 4 kids. Most likely, it is enough for her. I can’t say I blame her.

Don’t have a solution for you, seeing as this is a Catholic forum. But start with understanding and embracing where she is coming from. NFP is touted here as the be-all and the end-all, but I can tell you it is not that to someone who has made up their mind they aren’t getting pregnant again. I wouldn’t push her on that.
 
JMMJ said:
NFP is touted here as the be-all and the end-all
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I’ve not found that to be the case on this forum. We who have used NFP to avoid due to just reasons are up front, NFP is not easy. Sacrifice is not supposed to be easy.
 
That’s why I asked if he was struggling to be abstinent.

If he is, then she should love him, no?

If he can wait a full year, then I admire him. If he cant, I can relate.
 
What do the NFP instructors say? Does your wife have good guidance in this area?
I honestly think that Childbirth for some can be very traumatic. And postpartum can be tricky. I would encourage you to encourage your wife to seek some therapy if you think she is struggling.

This can destroy a marriage and a family, so please exhaust any relevant and moral avenues at your disposal.
 
www.foryourmarriage.org

Welcoming Children

Married couples are called to be open to life and generously welcome children into their home. Children are a great blessing to a family! They are not without their challenges, though, and adding children to the family can cause financial strain, career questions, and marital tension, in...
www.foryourmarriage.org www.foryourmarriage.org
 
It has been years since we have attended a NFP class. She does not like to take her temp, look for other signs and symptoms. “Too much work!” So much easier for her to just say no.
 
Well, all of that “easy no” will make it hard to say yes to the marriage. Any effort saved by saying no will be negated by the work of the marriage that has a partner that feels shut off and is neglected.
 
My friend, please keep hope from above. Not hope of this world, but what comes from Jesus.

The devil will use fatigue and frustration, and your physical needs to damage and discourage you, if he is able!

Do not rely on your own power, but ask for His strength.

May our Lord have mercy on us, and carry you through this time!
 
I am confused. You said above that she didn’t want to get pregnant again until her cycle re-starts. Which is delayed by breastfeeding.

Then here you say that she is opposed to having more children - full stop.

Which is it ?
 
Cecilia_Dympna said:
Have you talked, really talked, about why she does not want to have sex. It may not just be the fear of another pregnancy. Childbirth can be an overwhelming and even traumatic experience.
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Ooooh yes. I would guess this calls for a VERY delicate talk! Tease out gently if she is upset at you. Maybe you were not emotionally “there for her” at some point during the pregnancy? During labor? During the postpartum time (which she’s still in)? Ask her how you have failed to be supportive & how you can improve. I promise that even if you have NOT failed, her jaw will drop that you care enough to ask. 😉
 
QQQ said:
It has been years since we have attended a NFP class. She does not like to take her temp, look for other signs and symptoms. “Too much work!” So much easier for her to just say no.
Click to expand...
She needs one of those watches that temp for you while you sleep!! Help me out ladies… what are they called? It’s a girl’s name… Ava, maybe?? I borrowed one from a friend once. You just sleep in it & when you wake up you sync it to your phone & presto! Everything you need to know!
 
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