No Trials in Life

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In my experience, people who seem to have little, if any, adversity in life are not learning much along the way. This is not their fault, necessarily, as it may well be they are not up to handling even minor crises. One thing the desert fathers urged pretty much in unison was that we are not to compare our lot in life with that of others. We are each given what we need toward our goals of completing the work within us. For some that need will involve sorrow and trial. Others may just be here with us in a sort of supporting role or example of some kind. We answer only for ourselves and how we respond to everything we meet in life, including our views of those who appear to be more well off. 🙂
 
The not comparing part is a good and popular advice. So as not to be envious of others.

But let me add that we also need to ‘compare’ sometimes.

For example, lately I have been seeing a lot of articles on Jordan Peterson and how he helps young men (and women I think) be more positive, productive, less disillusioned.

One of the things people complain about young men these days is they are in their basements playing video ganes, bums without jobs. So you have people saying, at age 24 they should be living on their own, with a stable job, paying their own bills, a committed relationship, responsible and so on. This is because they are making a comparison to other more successful individuals. There’s a benchmark. When you say, ‘you should be…’ you are already making a comparison by default.
 
If I were a mystic I might suspect that you’ve been placed on this path for a particular reason. That the Lord is leading you somewhere and your particular gifts and talents are needed for when you get there. That the stumbling blocks you’re coming up against are there to draw out and purify various traits that are now lying dormant.

I’m afraid that this is not of any comfort to you at the moment.

But, if you and somebody else both followed x, y and z course of action, and they succeeded and you did not, then there must be something bigger going on in the spiritual side of things…

:pray:t2::pray:t2::pray:t2:
 
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Nap66 said:
I prayed for him and his life has improved even more. He’s received more blessings since I’ve prayed for him. God’s will! I asked God this morning “is there anyone out there praying for me?” When do my trials end for a bit, and one or two blessings are thrown my way?
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I know that must be so frustrating for you.
I’ll pray for you.
Meanwhile, while I do not recommend this approach, I thought the song might give you a laugh.

 
Nap66 said:
Does this get back to the notion that God doesn’t give you more than you can handle?
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That is the first problem.

This is something that came from maybe a Hallmark card, but, it is not part of Scripture nor of the teaching of the Church.

What God promises that in the midst of little annoyance or the biggest trial, He will be with us and we can have peace in the midst of the storm.

He promised us that we are not alone in our sufferings, He gave us a Church and told us to “bear one another’s burdens”. For every cross we also have a Simon to help carry that cross.

God promised that for every temptation we have there will be some means to escape it without giving in to sin.
 
Yes. And this is illustrated in the parable of the rich man and Lazarus.
 
My advice don’t focus on him focus on you and your own relationship with God. Whatever happens to him is between him and God.
 
adgloriam said:
He misses you as we speak (in his egoistic detached way). Loneliness is one of the major causes of suffering in the world. And even if missing you doesn’t eat him inside, he’ll feel the lack of your support. And is he indeed strong enough to remain alone? If not, the next person appearing in his life may just have been schooled in all the evil ways that hurt the most - and even without empathy, no one is exempt of being hurt.
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I don’t think he misses anyone. He hasn’t seen his parents and the rest of his family in five years. I know his parents used to blame me as the reason why he never visited. Little do they know it was always his decision. Now that I’m out of the picture, I hope they see him as he really is.

He’ll never stay alone. Lucky him, the love of his life, his high school girlfriend just contacted him out of the blue since she is going through a divorce too. I do hope they get together, seriously. Then he will finally realize that his dream of someone accepting him “just the way he is, or with very little change” (his words exactly) is just that, a dream. You are right, sometimes God answers prayers that look like blessings but in the end are anything but. Sometimes hurt is sent into your life to help you develop character.
 
CelticWarlord said:
We are each given what we need toward our goals of completing the work within us. For some that need will involve sorrow and trial. Others may just be here with us in a sort of supporting role or example of some kind.
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True. We will never know why that is until we die. As human beings we like to think that things should be fair, and that justice will be served on this earth and that things even out in the end. But that is not always the case. Some people just won’t have many trials in their lives.

But what I don’t get is why some of those trial-less people can’t see how fortunate and blessed they are and recognize that many, many good people are hit with trial after trial. It’s like they have blinders on. Maybe it’s because they have no empathy from having no experience. God needs those people here for some reason.
 
That is a HILARIOUS song. Obviously not for an example, but a good stress relief! 🤣🤣
 
There is a saying; “the measure of a man Is not in what he has, but in the obstacles he has overcome to get them.” He sounds like a very insignificant little man from your description.

I have a personal belief, something that I am open to. And that is that the next life is the perfect and ultimate truth of the statement, “you get out of something what you put into it.” Perfect justice, that justice that is God’s, is simply giving someone what they ask for. Will God say to your ex, “you had nothing to do with me in life, so I will place you somewhere where I am not?” Sad thought.

Oh and as to no trials, he’s still alive; give it time.
 
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Also, completely separate from that, I am so sorry for the loss of your husband. I’m going to say a prayer now for you and him.
 
“Nap66 said:
Why does God allow some people to go through life with no trials?

I look at his life and only see blessings.

This person has no trials in life, he has no need of prayer or a higher being. Everything is perfect as it is for him.
/quote]

I’ve heard this question before. And when I do I look at people who are incredibly successful to us the general public, who tragically take their own lives out of despair or frustration. Thinking of Karen Carpenter, Robin Williams, Kurt Cobain, and the list goes on.
Pain is often secret and hidden. It isn’t revealed until it hits critical mass and then, devastation.
Shalom
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0Scarlett_nidiyilii said:
If I were a mystic I might suspect that you’ve been placed on this path for a particular reason. That the Lord is leading you somewhere and your particular gifts and talents are needed for when you get there. That the stumbling blocks you’re coming up against are there to draw out and purify various traits that are now lying dormant.

I’m afraid that this is not of any comfort to you at the moment.
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Actually it is. I hope that the trials I have do mean something in the end. I hope I can do something with my life here on earth with what I have learned from my trials. But who knows? I do know that from what I’ve gone through I have realized that life is very, very short and money means nothing. Two things that most people on planet earth don’t agree with I suppose.
 
Tis_Bearself said:
Meanwhile, while I do not recommend this approach, I thought the song might give you a laugh.
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Love it! Thanks Tis_Bearself. I’ll pray for you too (in a good way, not the flower pot way). Don’t we all wish karma comes around sometimes to people. I guess we’ll just have to leave it in God’s hands.
 
I get that but many people who go through trials also walk around with inner pain and turmoil from the trials. What inner pain and turmoil can trial-less people have? Not making enough money? Not enough time to deal with all the blessings coming their way? Worrying when the hammer might fall on them? Sometimes I think the worry and pain they may have is trivial and earth-bound. At least I saw it with my ex. He worried about the stupidest trivial things and if he had just had some trials in his life he would have put it in perspective.
 
joeybaggz said:
Thinking of Karen Carpenter, Robin Williams, Kurt Cobain, and the list goes on.

Pain is often secret and hidden. It isn’t revealed until it hits critical mass and then, devastation.
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Interesting. Do you think if such people had had trials throughout their lives (and I don’t know if they did or didn’t, but they certainly had many blessings), then they may have been able to handle it better? Or is it that they had few trials and one such thing just threw them over the edge? Who knows?
 
Nap; I really don’t have a good answer for that. I just think of a guy like Robin Williams who was admired and loved by so many people, and on the surface he was zany and funny, and also a good father to his kids. Yet he couldn’t make a marriage last, and there was some demon inside that drove his to despair and suicide.
I don’t have a good answer for your question. I think for some it isn’t enough trials, and for others, it’s one too many.
An interesting fact I read somewhere is that the economic strata in the country that has the highest percentage rate of suicide is the very rich. Nothing really to live for?
Another poster suggested not fixating on your ex, but immerse yourself in your own life, finding happiness in your faith and hope for the good and the glorious to come. I think it is good advice.
Shalom
 
And your ex husband has nothing to gain by pushing your buttons, making you think that his life is a bed of roses…
 
While my life isn’t perfect by any means, I’m someone who has had very few trials in my life to the point where I’ve questioned my luck and blessings before. Why would I deserve this? I’ve seen people around me suffer greatly without suffering much myself, and I’ve come to realize that God has given me very little suffering so that I can serve as a source of positivity and hope in others’ lives. I’ve been blessed with a natural happiness, and I am called to share it with others as often and as much as humanly possible since I do not need all of my happiness for myself.

I wonder if your ex-husband has a similar calling, though it does not appear that he has applied that in his life. It seems that he may not need to experience personal suffering, but at least a personal conversion of sorts so that he can realize his gifts and his ability to share them with others. It appears that he may be selfish and self-centered, but God may want him to become selfless instead so he can use his lack of trials in life to help others.
 
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