No wound is as serious as wounded love

[petra22]

In another post, you mention you have adhd. I would bet my bottom dollar that your bleak outlook on life comes from your adhd. Adhd is just not simply lack of concentration, focus, it’s much more pervasive than that. Remove my adhd, and I’m a new human being, period. Remove yours, and you’re a butterfly who can’t fathom he ever was a catterpillar. I sometimes peruse forums on social anxiety and adhd/add, the amount of suffering, torment, stagnation is heartbreaking. In other words, if you want constant adversity and frustration in life, consider having adhd. Those holes in your heart won’t be filled in this lifetime, unfortunately. Adhd oftentimes guarantees a subpar life, you’ll have to lay aside dreams, aspirations, idealism and settle for what is.

God could probably heal you right this second, but he won’t and i can’t say I know why that is. He doesn’t seem to be in the business of making our life more satisfying, he seems, from my feeble intuition and understanding, to want obedience, resignation and faith that he’ll see us through and that the next life promises all that you’ve ever wanted to squeeze out of this lemon of a life. But please, don’t kid yourself, some people love life and could not be happier: top job paying top dollars, beautiful healthy kids who make them proud and enrich their life, a spouse they love and admire, good friends, a great future to look forward to and a past that makes them go to sleep at night with a smile. The card you and i picked at life’s lottery is anything but that, sadly. I tend to think God lets genes express themselves, you have adhd in your genes, i have adhd in mine, and God isn’t in the business of interfering with the expression of genes. A last point is that God doesn’t seem too fazed by human suffering. He seems more interested in you embracing your pain than trying to remove it from you. His love seems to express itself more in a willingness to help you bear the shackles of your suffering rather than free you from them. You’ll have to reconcile his benevolence with how he’s dealing with you. In your case and in mine, the default position is to think God is against us, out to get us. Having, as it were, created us for a miserable temporal life, and as a result of that, because of our lack of faith and love for him, a miserable eternity. Perhaps you and I were simply meant to exist to glorify God’s justice.

I should have noticed… my hubby has adhd (not diagnosed and would refuse to try meds…) and he focuses on the negative most of the time. I knew it was a focusing problem, I didn’t realize all the other stuff. But if it is a focusing problem why can’t you focus on the good that is in every life and let the bad go? I have plenty of bad things going on, but I choose to look at the good because there is much that touches me… birds, blue sky, rainbows, flowers, gardens…

I guess it’s just life. So I’ll keep praying for you and Bob and my hubby that have this problem. BTW my grandson also has it (adhd) and the doctor wanted to put him on meds for it but before his parents would do that they tried the meds to see what it would do to them… it made my daughter speed up and clean her whole house in two hours, but his dad slowed down and got a newer outlook on life… now he has a doctors prescription because he found out he has adhd, too. Meds really helped him… Now he can even communicate with people in a give and take way. Doesn’t feel in a fog, he says. Maybe meds would help YOUR outlook?

 

[BobCatholic]

In another post, you mention you have adhd. I would bet my bottom dollar that your bleak outlook on life comes from your adhd.

No, it just means I can’t sit for 20 hours straight in silence like some of saints who do serious prayer do.

i have adhd in mine, and God isn’t in the business of interfering with the expression of genes. A last point is that God doesn’t seem too fazed by human suffering.

True. God doesn’t seem to care about temporal suffering, he wants us to take care of it.

He seems more interested in you embracing your pain than trying to remove it from you.

I hate my pain. I don’t want to embrace the one I hate. That would mean I have to embrace the devil. Not going there!!! I hate him!

You’ll have to reconcile his benevolence with how he’s dealing with you.

I can’t. God didn’t give me this grace.

But if it is a focusing problem why can’t you focus on the good that is in every life and let the bad go?

Because the bad hurts more than the good is pleasant.

Maybe meds would help YOUR outlook?

Nope. My ADHD manifests in impatience, an inability to sit still and be in silence (so I can’t be still and know he is Lord…), and multitasking.

Not sadness.

The sadness comes from the bad luck I have in life now.

 

[fladreamer]

I should have noticed… my hubby has adhd (not diagnosed and would refuse to try meds…) and he focuses on the negative most of the time. I knew it was a focusing problem, I didn’t realize all the other stuff. But if it is a focusing problem why can’t you focus on the good that is in every life and let the bad go? I have plenty of bad things going on, but I choose to look at the good because there is much that touches me… birds, blue sky, rainbows, flowers, gardens…

I guess it’s just life. So I’ll keep praying for you and Bob and my hubby that have this problem. BTW my grandson also has it (adhd) and the doctor wanted to put him on meds for it but before his parents would do that they tried the meds to see what it would do to them… it made my daughter speed up and clean her whole house in two hours, but his dad slowed down and got a newer outlook on life… now he has a doctors prescription because he found out he has adhd, too. Meds really helped him… Now he can even communicate with people in a give and take way. Doesn’t feel in a fog, he says. Maybe meds would help YOUR outlook?

Oh, bless your heart. I was put on meds when i was very young, made me sort of lifeless (perhaps dosage wasn’t appropriate, maybe not the right med for me). Now I have many many years of adhd, social anxiety, generalized anxiety at times, stuff not working out, many attempts to open my heart thinking i’d found a way to solve my problems, been disappointed every time. Nowadays I’m more a spectator of life, i try and focus on good and beauty, but i often end up overwhelmed by a barrage of adversity and negativity. I did try an adhd med recently, did nothing for me but gave me a headache that lasted all day. Finding the right med, the right dosage can be a daunting task, it doesn’t mean there is one tailor-made for me, either. I feel I’ve become the best version of who i could become with the hand i was given at conception, i can’t fathom that someone who had my personality, genes, environment could have been a success of a human being. THAT is essentially my arguments when i come face to face with God. Being a pessimist myself (but trying to fight myself) i don’t put too much stock in God being swayed by my arguments!

 

[petra22]

Oh, bless your heart. I was put on meds when i was very young, made me sort of lifeless (perhaps dosage wasn’t appropriate, maybe not the right med for me). Now I have many many years of adhd, social anxiety, generalized anxiety at times, stuff not working out, many attempts to open my heart thinking i’d found a way to solve my problems, been disappointed every time. Nowadays I’m more a spectator of life, i try and focus on good and beauty, but i often end up overwhelmed by a barrage of adversity and negativity. I did try an adhd med recently, did nothing for me but gave me a headache that lasted all day. Finding the right med, the right dosage can be a daunting task, it doesn’t mean there is one tailor-made for me, either. I feel I’ve become the best version of who i could become with the hand i was given at conception, i can’t fathom that someone who had my personality, genes, environment could have been a success of a human being. THAT is essentially my arguments when i come face to face with God. Being a pessimist myself (but trying to fight myself) i don’t put too much stock in God being swayed by my arguments!

Praying for you too, fladreamer. ADD/ADHD is real, though lots of people don’t believe it… May God send you faith, peace, hope and love…all.