No young adults

[mbd1475]

In my town there are no young adult Catholics (or even Episcopalians, for that matter). It seems that anyone my age (or my wife’s age) who doesn’t have children and may go to church, goes to a baptist church, maybe some Methodist. (We live in the south/Bible belt I guess).

My wife and I currently attend the local Episcopal church (Anglo-Catholic, more-catholic-than-catholic variety). The service is, of course, beautiful, but there are no young adults there, period. And I hear that RC parish here is the same way. No one under 30.

I know that strictly theologically speaking, it shouldn’t make a difference to someone who is thinking of becoming Catholic. But let’s be honest, it does. So I am wondering if anyone else has found themselves in a similar situation, and could offer some advice.

Again, I am not interested in any responses to the effect of “You should just become Catholic if the Holy Spirit is telling you to and quit letting your social life get in the way” or “suck it up and be the first and others will follow.”

As important as the sacraments and our souls are, sometimes people, real people, need to be nourished by friendship and peers and someone of the same faith to hang out with outside of Mass. I really want to hear about some experiences people have had in this as young adults or otherwise.

Thanks!

 

[BLUEMOON74]

I am 33 and Roman Catholic. Biggest frustration for me is that I see very few people my age at Mass. It is either people over 45 or under 18, bc they are part of CYO or their parents make them go as they are teenagers…sad to say but it is true for some. It’s a total adjustment for me as I grew up in Louisiana where everyone is Catholic, 90% of churches are Catholic, spanning from the smallest church to the glorious St. Louis Cathedral. Here in Texas everyone goes to Lakewood Church or some Protestant Church. I am definitely in Protestant country and it’s a bit depressing. I dont have any advice bc I am amiss as well and have no idea what to do about that. Honestly, if you are Catholic here, you really want to be Catholic bc the pressure to go to these “Six Flags Over Jesus” churches are extreme and its odd bc its neighboring states, Mississippi-- Hattiesburg and further North MS is worse! BUT, I’m not converting, and hopefully we will see an increase, I honestly have no idea where folks 19-40 something in College Station are every Sunday, I guess watching a movie and cooking. I think I may get even more involved in our church activites outside of Mass and see if I can make a difference in our community. We do have 4 catholic churches with decent size congregations and plenty of good activites to get involved in. A couple of Knights of Columbus divisions for the guys, so College Station does have a lot of potential despite us being the “underdog” here. But uh…yeah…this has been bothering me for a while too. I think mainly bc religion is so political here, there’s BIG money flowing into Protestant churches making them appear to be better and more fun, and ofcourse all of the Who’s Who in town go to them. You’re a bit of an outcast here if you don’t. These Baptists look at you like you’re a lepher if your Catholic, and they’re all very brave to say Ooooh Boy you’re one of those Catholics aren’t you?; and then they want to attempt to “enlighten” you on why Catholicism is so wrong. Noone would dare go there in Louisiana bc there is strength in numbers. You would see a whole lot of Baptists doing the boot-scootin-boogie out of town in a flash. Yeah unfair and pretty frustrating. I need to pray about how I can change this situation here for the greater good of all.

 

[Pacbox]

I know what it’s like. I’m about the only one my age at my parish. Oh, there are others but they’re married and I’m single. And we run in different circles anyways.

Well, the parish started a Young Adult Group last year. Hey, I thought that was great. Good idea bad implementation. They opened it up to everyone in the parish. And they wonder why young adults don’t go to these events. If we don’t have something special for ourselves like everyone else has something only they get to belong to, why bother?

Add to that the spiritually of the group is extremely charismatic which is the complete opposite of me and my spirituallity. The Director of Faith Formation and the Youth Group Coordinator, both ‘lead’ the group, are both fans of happy clappy music, feel good spirituality and activities, no depth or study whatsoever, and foist what they like on the group. It’s all about the social and nothing about the faith unless it’s LifeTeen Mass which I refuse to have anything to do with. It’s about fun not faith.

And I don’t see it changing anytime soon as the parish pastor is also big into the charismatic, happy feel good music and theology and foists this on the parish and everyone buys into it. So yeah, no real young adult (I have problems with this phrase but that’s for another thread) group here and I’ve just about given up. And there’s no way I could do anything or say anything to change things because I tried to do that when I was in choir and I got told to shut up and then was forced to quit. And yet I keep going back to this parish. I am a reader at Mass but I’m not sure how much longer.

So I feel your pain.

 

[BLUEMOON74]

Yeah, I appreciate all of the things that the Catholic Church has done for teens to get them involved bc it really does make a difference and fosters better adults within the faith, but theres nothing for people that are adults that arent Senior Citizens. The only thing really is Adult Faith Formation at most of the churches. I think some people my age quit going is bc besides Mass there was nothing to really be a part of here for our age group. Yeah I am not real fond of Charismatic hoopla but its ok here and there everybody needs a little of that from time to time, just for me not all the time. It seems as if sometime the church feels once you hit 25 your just a robot to attend Mass. I understand its not about entertainment, so Mass is crucial but we need something I believe 25-35, something like that. I also remember when I was single, sometimes, shamefully I admit, I would dread going bc everyone my age was married and people gave you a strange look when you walked in there at 31 years old w/o 5 kids and a husband. I wanted to wear a sign that said, EXCUSE ME IF I WANT TO FINISH COLLEGE BEFORE I ENGAGE IN CONCEPTION, SO I CAN ACTUALLY AFFORD MY KIDS! AAARRRGGGHHH! Maybe they were prejudging me and assuming I was having premarital sex w/ contraception bc I didnt have kids, or maybe they assumed I was single all my life, or “felt sorry for me”. What they didnt know was that I was recently divorced and would rather worry about the books and finally get out of college than guys. HELLO! Sorry for my rant lol

 

[CB_Catholic]

In my town there are no young adult Catholics (or even Episcopalians, for that matter). It seems that anyone my age (or my wife’s age) who doesn’t have children and may go to church, goes to a baptist church, maybe some Methodist. (We live in the south/Bible belt I guess).

My wife and I currently attend the local Episcopal church (Anglo-Catholic, more-catholic-than-catholic variety). The service is, of course, beautiful, but there are no young adults there, period. And I hear that RC parish here is the same way. No one under 30.

I know that strictly theologically speaking, it shouldn’t make a difference to someone who is thinking of becoming Catholic. But let’s be honest, it does. So I am wondering if anyone else has found themselves in a similar situation, and could offer some advice.

Again, I am not interested in any responses to the effect of “You should just become Catholic if the Holy Spirit is telling you to and quit letting your social life get in the way” or “suck it up and be the first and others will follow.”

As important as the sacraments and our souls are, sometimes people, real people, need to be nourished by friendship and peers and someone of the same faith to hang out with outside of Mass. I really want to hear about some experiences people have had in this as young adults or otherwise.

Thanks!

I don’t live in the South and actually live in an area that has lots of Catholics–both of the Latin rite and the Eastern rites, as well as a substantial Orthodox population, and I can tell you that there is a problem with this here, also. It’s not that we don’t have any young adults, we do, but not as many as we should. But I think part of the reason has not to do with the Church, per se, but with that particular stage in life.

When young people grow up and leave home there is often a tendency to leave many things behind–and Church is one of the first things to go. I am a prime example, and I have many friends who are like me. We leave home, go to college or get a job, get married, start to explore life, and unfortunately put God on the back burner. We are just too busy for Him and often too lazy to get up and go to church. Where we spend eternity is not on our list of priorities, and we cannot conceive of our own mortality yet. These thing rarely enter our thoughts, unless we have to come face-to-face with some unpleasant reality.

It is only after doing a bit of living, experiencing a few hard knocks, facing the death of loved ones or friends, etc. that the reality of this life and the thoughts of the next may start to creep into our existance. Or we may have children (which happens often at a much later age than when I grew up) and we realize that they need some religious education, and then get our bodies back to Church.

I am nearly 60 years old, and have seen this pattern repeated countless times among my family, my friends, and in my parish. I’m not saying that this is the way it is for everyone, but it is very, very, common. I have friends who are Deacons, who have raised their children faithfully in the Church, given them the best of Catholic educations, only to have their children abandon the Church when they are out on their own. My own son does not set foot in church, and my daughter and her husband’s attendance is often sporadic, although since they have had children, they are coming around. I am on the Evangelization team at my parish, and one of our goals is precisely to evangelize the 18 to 35 or so age group, to bring them back into the life of the Church I also might add, that despite what you have seen in your area, this problem is not exclusive to Catholics. Protestants have the same problems with their youth, although their youth ministries tend to be more dynamic than the Catholics, once they are out on their own and away from their fellowship, their church attendance drops off.

I really do not have an answer to the problem, but that has been my experience. Hope this helps.

 

[ack]

I don’t live in the South and actually live in an area that has lots of Catholics–both of the Latin rite and the Eastern rites, as well as a substantial Orthodox population, and I can tell you that there is a problem with this here, also. It’s not that we don’t have any young adults, we do, but not as many as we should. But I think part of the reason has not to do with the Church, per se, but with that particular stage in life.

In your case, I think it also has something to do with the fact that Northeast Ohio has trouble attracting and retaining young adults, period.

In several other parts of the country where I’ve lived (the kinds of area where young adults from NE Ohio move to), the young adult community was much larger and more vibrant.

 

[ack]

Your situation seems unfortunate. Even though you didn’t like the activities at your young adult group meetings, what about the people that you met? Have you made any new friends there?

These people could form the core of a new group that’s more to your tastes.

I know what it’s like. I’m about the only one my age at my parish. Oh, there are others but they’re married and I’m single. And we run in different circles anyways.

Well, the parish started a Young Adult Group last year. Hey, I thought that was great. Good idea bad implementation. They opened it up to everyone in the parish. And they wonder why young adults don’t go to these events. If we don’t have something special for ourselves like everyone else has something only they get to belong to, why bother?

Add to that the spiritually of the group is extremely charismatic which is the complete opposite of me and my spirituallity. The Director of Faith Formation and the Youth Group Coordinator, both ‘lead’ the group, are both fans of happy clappy music, feel good spirituality and activities, no depth or study whatsoever, and foist what they like on the group. It’s all about the social and nothing about the faith unless it’s LifeTeen Mass which I refuse to have anything to do with. It’s about fun not faith.

And I don’t see it changing anytime soon as the parish pastor is also big into the charismatic, happy feel good music and theology and foists this on the parish and everyone buys into it. So yeah, no real young adult (I have problems with this phrase but that’s for another thread) group here and I’ve just about given up. And there’s no way I could do anything or say anything to change things because I tried to do that when I was in choir and I got told to shut up and then was forced to quit. And yet I keep going back to this parish. I am a reader at Mass but I’m not sure how much longer.

So I feel your pain.

 

[Pacbox]

Your situation seems unfortunate. Even though you didn’t like the activities at your young adult group meetings, what about the people that you met? Have you made any new friends there?

These people could form the core of a new group that’s more to your tastes.

While I’ve met a few people, they were already friends with other people and stick to those groups or have other activities they are a part of. The one person that is like me goes to the Saturday vigil Mass and starts full time teaching this fall (she just graduate with her masters in teaching which is pretty awesome) so I don’t see her ofter. Otherwise, my friends at that parish are in their 40s and 50s.

The activites they offer are almost always tied to the LifeTeen Mass. If you want to attend, you almost have to go to that Mass. Thankfully, I don’t so I’ve managed to save my sanity thus far. And the next big activity is going to a Christian concert this coming weekend that’s with a specific church’s evangelization festival they hold every year to get people to go to their church and accept their version of the Gospel. The last activity before that was Creation fest which is a big Christian festival they hold for three days in The Gorge. I’m sorry but I can’t stand that type of music let alone camping and listening to it for three days. I want to listen to that type of music I’ll listen to Britney Spears. It’s the same thing in my book.

I’m sorry, I’m ranting, venting but I’ve said stuff in the past and no one listens. It’s like, why bother? They say, well tell us what you want, I do, and then they say that’s not what you really want, or don’t listen at all and do whatever they want.

 

[ack]

What age range is this group?

It sounds like the activities are targeted towards members under 21.

The activites they offer are almost always tied to the LifeTeen Mass. If you want to attend, you almost have to go to that Mass. Thankfully, I don’t so I’ve managed to save my sanity thus far. And the next big activity is going to a Christian concert this coming weekend that’s with a specific church’s evangelization festival they hold every year to get people to go to their church and accept their version of the Gospel. The last activity before that was Creation fest which is a big Christian festival they hold for three days in The Gorge. I’m sorry but I can’t stand that type of music let alone camping and listening to it for three days. I want to listen to that type of music I’ll listen to Britney Spears. It’s the same thing in my book.

 

[vee8]

And I hear that RC parish here is the same way. No one under 30.

It might be a good idea to attend a mass or two at the parish, and make an appointment to talk to the priest about your concerns if you are interested in the Catholic church.

I know that strictly theologically speaking, it shouldn’t make a difference to someone who is thinking of becoming Catholic. But let’s be honest, it does. So I am wondering if anyone else has found themselves in a similar situation, and could offer some advice.

This site might be able to help you out.
chnetwork.org/

Dont take this the wrong way but you sound a little bit like a child who is afraid to go to a new school because he doesnt know anyone there and so on. So i will remind you that you will make friends no matter where you go just trust Jesus and follow Him. Pray you will find friends He wants you to have and you will be surprised how wonderful they turn out to be. The important thing is to follow Jesus and do what He says first. No excuses.

 

[mbd1475]

Thanks, (most) everybody for the helpful responses. Sometimes it’s just good to know that someone else feels what you feel.

And no, I’m not scared of going places where I don’t know anyone and going out on my own. It’s my job to do that. It’s just that it’s easy to burn out if you have no one to relate to week after week. Where is the community in church, if you can’t relate to anyone on a peer-level? Think about your own family–at some point you stop wrestling with your dad and start playing football with your brother(s).

It’s not about meeting strangers. It’s about making friends. It’s about having someone to go to church with. To watch the superbowl with. To share parenting struggles with. To make mistakes together. To grow together. To have a beer and watch the boxing match with. Those things are part of the Church, too.

Thanks again for your responses, guys. It helps to know you’re not the only one going through a particular struggle.

 

[kage_ar]

It is easy to make a judgement based on one Mass. Unless you live in a very small town, your Catholic Church has more than one Mass each weekend. You could be part of a Parish with people and never see them at Mass because you attend different Masses.

When you get to the Parish, get involved in different groups, studies, volunteering, you will find there are many interesting people there.

 

[vee8]

I understand what you are saying about friends. At the same time if that issue is the biggest thing keeping you out of the Catholic church dont let it stand in the way. Secondly, in case you dont know, RCIA classes start in September in many parishes. The classes are for those who would like to become Catholic or who arent sure yet but want to know more. At any rate if you do join eventually you will have to attend RCIA and who knows there might be other people there your own age that you could become good friends with.

 

[mbd1475]

I understand what you are saying about friends. At the same time if that issue is the biggest thing keeping you out of the Catholic church dont let it stand in the way. Secondly, in case you dont know, RCIA classes start in September in many parishes. The classes are for those who would like to become Catholic or who arent sure yet but want to know more. At any rate if you do join eventually you will have to attend RCIA and who knows there might be other people there your own age that you could become good friends with.

Hey, thanks. That’s a great idea. You never know who might be at RCIA I guess. I appreciate the thoughtful suggestion!

 

[Pacbox]

What age range is this group?

It sounds like the activities are targeted towards members under 21.

Well, supposedly it was for those 23-30 but that never held up from the get go since the first meeting had people in their 50s and older. That was a slap in the face because finally we were getting something for the after college crowd and younger than 30 and married crowd but then it’s open to everyone. Great way to tell those you’re trying to reach most how important they really are.

Since the Director of Faith Formation and Youth Group Leader lead the group and only go to the LifeTeen Mass (they plus Father tout it as the miracle that brings teens and young adults to Mass which it actually doesn’t since only those over 40 really love it not the teen or young adults) plus the fact that both graduated from Gonzaga University, they focus on the emotional, charismatic personality of the LifeTeen Mass. It’s like they haven’t grown up. And they can’t see beyond that view either. All they focus is on fun.

Sorry, this frustrates me and makes me angry because I’m being treated as a child and that I must not really be Catholic or on fire since I don’t like this kind of stuff (the LifeTeen Mass, charismatic spirituality focus, etc.). And I want a group that is exclusively young adults but I honestly don’t see that happening. I made the decision a year and a half ago to leave this particular parish (for various reasons I won’t mention here) but have stayed hoping it would get better plus having friends here. It hasn’t.

 

[ack]

I think it’s very weird that people in their 40s like the Lifeteen Mass so much. There’s a reason why “teen” is in “lifeteen”.

I also find your attitude problematic when you want a group that “exclusively for young adults”. And what’s with you being upset because nobody is telling young adults “how important they really are”? We don’t go to church so somebody can tell us that we’re important; we go so we can worship God. Likewise, we join parish groups so we can strengthen our faith lives and meet people who we enjoy spending time with…not so we can feel self-important by being in an exclusive club.

Although you might not have found the right social group yet, you are missing out on meeting a lot of good friends if you exclude people that have passed a certain arbitrary age limit. While I think a “young adult group” should be mostly young adults, to preserve the nature of the group, there are plenty of “older” adults who have a youthful personality and would be a great addition to the group. (And by “youthful”, I don’t mean “teenager”…as in Lifeteen.)

I’ve lived in several different parts of the US, and every successful group that I’ve joined has had a few members who were noticeably older than the target age. If there was an arbitrary age cutoff, we would have missed those wonderful people. Also, one of the best groups that I joined had members ranging from 15-60. Don’t rule out a group just because it’s not “just for you”.

Most importantly, all of the groups that I’ve joined were completely open – everybody is more than welcome to attend any meeting or activity, regardless of age or anything else.

Well, supposedly it was for those 23-30 but that never held up from the get go since the first meeting had people in their 50s and older. That was a slap in the face because finally we were getting something for the after college crowd and younger than 30 and married crowd but then it’s open to everyone. Great way to tell those you’re trying to reach most how important they really are.

Since the Director of Faith Formation and Youth Group Leader lead the group and only go to the LifeTeen Mass (they plus Father tout it as the miracle that brings teens and young adults to Mass which it actually doesn’t since only those over 40 really love it not the teen or young adults) plus the fact that both graduated from Gonzaga University, they focus on the emotional, charismatic personality of the LifeTeen Mass. It’s like they haven’t grown up. And they can’t see beyond that view either. All they focus is on fun.

Sorry, this frustrates me and makes me angry because I’m being treated as a child and that I must not really be Catholic or on fire since I don’t like this kind of stuff (the LifeTeen Mass, charismatic spirituality focus, etc.). And I want a group that is exclusively young adults but I honestly don’t see that happening. I made the decision a year and a half ago to leave this particular parish (for various reasons I won’t mention here) but have stayed hoping it would get better plus having friends here. It hasn’t.

 

[Pacbox]

I think it’s very weird that people in their 40s like the Lifeteen Mass so much. There’s a reason why “teen” is in “lifeteen”.

I also find your attitude problematic when you want a group that “exclusively for young adults”. And what’s with you being upset because nobody is telling young adults “how important they really are”? We don’t go to church so somebody can tell us that we’re important; we go so we can worship God. Likewise, we join parish groups so we can strengthen our faith lives and meet people who we enjoy spending time with…not so we can feel self-important by being in an exclusive club.

Although you might not have found the right social group yet, you are missing out on meeting a lot of good friends if you exclude people that have passed a certain arbitrary age limit. While I think a “young adult group” should be mostly young adults, to preserve the nature of the group, there are plenty of “older” adults who have a youthful personality and would be a great addition to the group. (And by “youthful”, I don’t mean “teenager”…as in Lifeteen.)

I’ve lived in several different parts of the US, and every successful group that I’ve joined has had a few members who were noticeably older than the target age. If there was an arbitrary age cutoff, we would have missed those wonderful people. Also, one of the best groups that I joined had members ranging from 15-60. Don’t rule out a group just because it’s not “just for you”.

Most importantly, all of the groups that I’ve joined were completely open – everybody is more than welcome to attend any meeting or activity, regardless of age or anything else.

As I mentioned in a previous post (or at least thought I did) I have friends at this parish who are in theri 40s and 50s and we were friends long before this group was thought up. I’m involved in the parish in other ways. I’m a reader. I was in three different choirs till I had to quit before they kicked me out. I volunteered for these things.

The problem is that the young adult group was initially ‘marketed’ for lack of a better word, as exclusively for those between 22-30. It was explicit that the group would be for those in that age group. The thing is the main reason the group was started in the first place was because there was no group for those in that age group. There were groups for teens, parents, married, college students and are exclusive for them and if you’re not the specific target of the group then you can’t join but nothing for those out of college and not married/married. It was even open to other parished in the area since they had the same problem which was no problem at all since I belong to a small parish and most of the surrounding ones are small as well.

I’ve been in this parish for nearly 8 years. I was there nealy three years before I had friends in the parish. And yes, I went out of my way to talk to people, go to events, etc. and I am not an outgoing person but nothing happened. I joined the choir and was asked to join two more before I had to quit (I was at one point, though I’m not 100% sure on this, told to shut up. I was singing in one of the choirs I was in and the Music Director, at a Sunday Mass, told me to shut up. There other, more serious issues that had been going on for a while that were also causing problems which caused me to quit soon thereafter.) I’m also a reader. I know I’m unimportant in the scheme of things, I’ve heard that my entire life.

The thing is certain people come to events, meetings and just take over. And no one tells them to stop and if anyone says anything, they are told they maybe they shouldn’t be there. And there are people whose behavior is all about being seen at these events. And if one of them want something to happen, they get what they want.

I understand that I can’t fully express what I want to get across in a medium like the internet and a forum like this.

 

[mbd1475]

As I mentioned in a previous post (or at least thought I did) I have friends at this parish who are in theri 40s and 50s and we were friends long before this group was thought up. I’m involved in the parish in other ways. I’m a reader. I was in three different choirs till I had to quit before they kicked me out. I volunteered for these things.

The problem is that the young adult group was initially ‘marketed’ for lack of a better word, as exclusively for those between 22-30. It was explicit that the group would be for those in that age group. The thing is the main reason the group was started in the first place was because there was no group for those in that age group. There were groups for teens, parents, married, college students and are exclusive for them and if you’re not the specific target of the group then you can’t join but nothing for those out of college and not married/married. It was even open to other parished in the area since they had the same problem which was no problem at all since I belong to a small parish and most of the surrounding ones are small as well.

I’ve been in this parish for nearly 8 years. I was there nealy three years before I had friends in the parish. And yes, I went out of my way to talk to people, go to events, etc. and I am not an outgoing person but nothing happened. I joined the choir and was asked to join two more before I had to quit (I was at one point, though I’m not 100% sure on this, told to shut up. I was singing in one of the choirs I was in and the Music Director, at a Sunday Mass, told me to shut up. There other, more serious issues that had been going on for a while that were also causing problems which caused me to quit soon thereafter.) I’m also a reader. I know I’m unimportant in the scheme of things, I’ve heard that my entire life.

The thing is certain people come to events, meetings and just take over. And no one tells them to stop and if anyone says anything, they are told they maybe they shouldn’t be there. And there are people whose behavior is all about being seen at these events. And if one of them want something to happen, they get what they want.

I understand that I can’t fully express what I want to get across in a medium like the internet and a forum like this.

That’s okay, I’m glad that this thread has given you an opportunity to express what you’re going through. Don’t let anyone (at church, or here) tell you that what you’re feeling isn’t a valid concern or that you should just plug along and be thankful to just be in the “right” church.

Problems don’t get solved unless we talk about them. And your problem is certainly valid.

 

[CB_Catholic]

As I mentioned in a previous post (or at least thought I did) I have friends at this parish who are in theri 40s and 50s and we were friends long before this group was thought up. I’m involved in the parish in other ways. I’m a reader. I was in three different choirs till I had to quit before they kicked me out. I volunteered for these things.

The problem is that the young adult group was initially ‘marketed’ for lack of a better word, as exclusively for those between 22-30. It was explicit that the group would be for those in that age group. The thing is the main reason the group was started in the first place was because there was no group for those in that age group. There were groups for teens, parents, married, college students and are exclusive for them and if you’re not the specific target of the group then you can’t join but nothing for those out of college and not married/married. It was even open to other parished in the area since they had the same problem which was no problem at all since I belong to a small parish and most of the surrounding ones are small as well.

I’ve been in this parish for nearly 8 years. I was there nealy three years before I had friends in the parish. And yes, I went out of my way to talk to people, go to events, etc. and I am not an outgoing person but nothing happened. I joined the choir and was asked to join two more before I had to quit (I was at one point, though I’m not 100% sure on this, told to shut up. I was singing in one of the choirs I was in and the Music Director, at a Sunday Mass, told me to shut up. There other, more serious issues that had been going on for a while that were also causing problems which caused me to quit soon thereafter.) I’m also a reader. I know I’m unimportant in the scheme of things, I’ve heard that my entire life.

The thing is certain people come to events, meetings and just take over. And no one tells them to stop and if anyone says anything, they are told they maybe they shouldn’t be there. And there are people whose behavior is all about being seen at these events. And if one of them want something to happen, they get what they want.

I understand that I can’t fully express what I want to get across in a medium like the internet and a forum like this.

I can understand your wanting to be in a group of your peers as well as other groups, and it is a legitimate concern. I participate in things in my parish where there is a large age range, and that’s fine, but I am almost 60 and want to be with those in my age group as well. I am not raising a family now, I have grandchildren, those in my age group are starting to have health issues, have aging parents, are near retirement–we just don’t have the same concerns as younger people do, and even what we like to do socially is not the same. Our taste in music, literature, movies,etc. is not the same. We can share many things with younger people, and learn from each other, but many things we can’t or don’t want to and vice-versa. I sincerely hope you can work something out in your parish.

BTW, I do like the Lifeteen Masses, which I attend sometimes because of my work schedule, because I like young people and their enthusiasm, and I like most of the music, but in my parish the music they use is contemporary, but not the “hard rock” type of Christian music popular these days, and the Mass is like any other Mass in our parish, no fooling around with the Liturgy, no gathering around the altar,etc. And they use the same Gloria, Alleluia, Amen, and Sanctus as the regular Masses.

 

[KCtheMommy]

Have you tried the local Knights of Columbus? There are probably some younger catholic men enrolled. If you join the Knights you’ll be able to get out in the community more, do volunteer work, etc.

Also, in my Parish someone has recently started a Young Adults Night Out – they go out to nice restaurants, go wine tasting, etc. It’s for singles AND couples. I didn’t peruse your previous posts but by this thread you are discerning conversion to the HRCC? Maybe after you do you’ll be able to start the same type thing up in the parish.

Another thing I noticed is time of Mass varies the age of parishioners in attendance. The mass with the contemporary choir has people more my age (34) and teens. It’s 5 on Sunday. So maybe check out ALL masses?

Or – just move out of the Bible-Belt. (You didn’t say I couldn’t suggest moving. )