Nominees for worst hymn

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benedictgal

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In another forum, folks were invited to post their favorite hymns. Following the original poster’s vein, I now ask for candidates for the bottom of the barrel. Here are mine:

Pescador de los Hombres (Lord, When You Stood by the Seashore)
Here I Am, Lord
Glory and Praise to our God
The King of Glory
Sing a New Song Unto the Lord
Lead Me, Lord
O Love of God/O Amor de Dios
Make Me a Channel of Your Peace
Bread of Life
Gather Us In
Song of the Body of Christ
Sing a New Church
Whatsoever You Do
They’ll Know We are Christians
On Eagles’ Wings
Lord of Glory (especially when they sing with a banjo)
Battle Hymn of the Republic
Though the Mountains May Fall
One Bread, One Body
We Remember
Hail Mary, Gentle Woman
We are the Light of the World
Pan de Vida
City of God
Ven al Banquete/Come to the Feast
Alabare

I realize this is a rather long list, but I’m sure that there are some other hymns that are worse.
 
I love of some of the songs you listed. Am curious why you don’t like them.
 
The gloria one where everyone claps in the chorus takes the biscuit for me.

JD
 
quiet52 said:
I love of some of the songs you listed. Am curious why you don’t like them.
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The period soon after the Second Vatican Council was a dark period for Sacred Music (not that we are in any better shape, after all Pope Benedict said that there has never really been a golden age of liturgy). The hymns that I posted are more of a “feel good” Mommas and Papas/Joan Baez type of music that does not take us out of ourselves and into the presence of Someone Wholly Other.

The biggest purveyor of this type of music is OCP. In fact, there was an article that caeme out in Crisis Magazine to tha effect five years ago:

crisismagazine.com/january2002/feature2.htm

The hymns I listed have more of a 1970s pop feel to them and really don’t do anything to emphasize the sacred mysteries we are supposed to be celebrating. They are more in line with “celebrating” ourselves.

As Cardinal Ratzinger, Pope Benedict wrote about the importance of sobriety and solemnity in the music we use for our liturgies. Now that the USCCB is taking a long look at the lack of Sacred Music, perhaps we will see a return to dignity and solemnity. I also refer you to this link regarding Sacred Music:

crisismagazine.com/january2002/feature2.htm

Now, I am not a musician. However, when I used to plan liturgies, I was very careful with the hymns I selected. A lot of the hymns I chose were older, some dating back to the 9th century. I am afraid that we are losing our sacred heritage. Sacred Music certainly did not begin with the St. Louis Jesuits. In fact, they did everything they could to get rid of it and impose their novelty into things.

The Church does have guidelines regarding music. It should be true to Catholic doctrine, be universal and be in line with the liturgy. Some of fhe hymns in my list, most specifically, We Remember, merely regard the Blessed Sacrament as a symbol. Others treat the Mass as a mere “feel good” experience.

I hope this helps you understand my reasoning. Perhaps it will get some of the posters to really think about the kind of music we are singing in our churches today.
 
It’s not a hymn, but the one that absolutely sends me up a wall is that dreadful alleluia that they use at Mass. The one that goes like,

Holly, holly, holly,
LOO-ooo-yah!

Holly, holly, holly,
LOO-ooo-yah!

Holly, holly, holly,
LOO-ooo-yah!

Holly-LOO-yah!

Hah-LAY-loo-YAH!

Every time I hear that thing, it nearly makes me want to run out and join the SSPX.
 
Johndigger said:
The gloria one where everyone claps in the chorus takes the biscuit for me.

JD
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Just so you’ll know, the USCCB came down hard on OCP for including this “hymn” in the Service Music portion of the hymnal. That “Gloria” is a paraphrase of the “Gloria” that we are supposed to sing/say during the Mass. That is not allowable.
 
Mine is about Sing(ing) a New Church into being (written by a “nun”)! It’s so bad (heretical - a new church?) that when I heard it at Mass a few years ago, I tore the page out and talked to the cantor. We never heard it again! (Just looked again, and it’s on your list.)

The Crisis article is great! It puts into black and white what I felt all along. The OCP also changes some gender words - male pronouns of course.
 
benedictgal said:
Whatsoever You Do
Battle Hymn of the Republic
Pan de Vida
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I agree with your list except for these three. Now wait! Let me explain about Whatsoever You Do! I know it’s corny, but it has a special nostalgia for me, remembering from my youth.

Pan De Vida, I just really enjoy singing, especially in Spanish.

And Battle Hymn of the Republic! Wow, that one is one of my favorites, written in the Civil War times. Our old choir director wrote an ending for it that is just astounding and raises the roof. We sang it last year for a Recessional and people actually applauded at the end ( a “no-no”, I agree, but I think it must have been the weekend of Veteran’s Day or something like that honoring the military, so people were moved!)

Our new director just had us fill out a survey of our favorite and not-so-favorite hymns from the (barf) Gather hymnal. I’ll find my list and see if I have any awful ones to add!
 
I don’t like “Lord of the Dance”. I keep picturing the Irish dancers dancing away and it just isn’t right. But Seattle churches love it.
 
Pan de Vida is the hymn I abhor. I don’t live in Spanish speaking neighborhood, I don’t go to a Spanish speaking Church, and Spanish is not the historical language of the Mass, thus I don’t sing Spanish songs.

Our former pastor put the kibosh on singing it, unless it was done in English. Even the tune makes me queasy but at least if I wanted to I could sing along.

Sing a New Song always makes me want the choir to follow their own instructions.
 
I’m only listing hymns that I’ve heard being played within the last five years. There are plenty of others which I couldn’t stand growing up, but I won’t focus on them.
  1. Here I Am, Lord (The melody always reminds me of the Brady Bunch theme, so I have a very difficult time taking it seriously. My husband and I were out with a friend the other night and she really liked this hymn. When we brought up the Brady Bunch theme (we’re classical musicians, but we all have poorly composed music that we like once in a while), my friend bursted out laughing. She said she cannot look at that hymn the same way again.
  2. Prayer of St. Francis - It’s so redudant and doesn’t go anywhere. The musical thought and line never flows into the next phrase. BUT, I do like the text for obvious reasons.
  3. On Eagles Wings - I do this for funerals almost all the time. Many people do like this hymn sung at their funeral or family member’s funeral. The text is good as I believe it is from scripture. Honestly, it is a good piece of music for a Broadway show, but I just don’t like it for mass. I don’t really care much for Broadway music, although I used to love it as a kid, but will admit that it would be decent for a some show tune. The problem is that I’ve heard cantors try to sing it like a show tune and really cheese it out. Really, really, really bad. I don’t care how good of a broadway voice a person have - cheesiness gets that person no where. All you have are people snickering in the pews - And I’ve seen this happen at funerals.
  4. I Am the Bread of Life - Most congregations can’t sing it as it is all over the place for an average person to jump from singing in the lower registers beneath middle C to high E.
  5. The King of Glory - I always think of that Steve Colbert skit. The last time I had to do this I was working at a parish and the pastor made me play the tambourine to it. I never felt so humiliated and dumb, but I offered it up to God and sent in my resignation a couple months later.
  6. You Are Near - For some reason, brides really love this hymn and tend to think my voice sounds good in it. I have this running joke with my music director. He says whenever I’m hired for a wedding there, they almost always have this hymn as a choice (and we don’t even have that as our list of choices on the wedding music list) nor do we ever do it for mass. But most of these brides come from other parishes as it’s a Cathedral and most of the people getting married there aren’t in the parish. My husband will either sing it like a really bad show tune singer with dips and slides in the voice, mimicking the way we’ve heard it done by cantors in the past, or sing it with an Irish brogue and take up the tempo. It’s actually better that way if sung in an pub somewhere with a fiddler.
  7. Center of My Life - The melody (to me) is just really insipid. I was singing this to a few friends of mine recently because I had to sing it for something and wanted to know if they ever heard the hymn. I never did before last week. All of them started to wretch and fake vomit. One of them said, “What? Are we in Pre-School?” I don’t mean to offend anyone who likes it. Just an opinion.
Anyway, that’s all. I’ve been fortunate to not have to hear any of the other hymns posted here for many years now.
 
MollyF said:
I don’t like “Lord of the Dance”. I keep picturing the Irish dancers dancing away and it just isn’t right. But Seattle churches love it.
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Oh, my goodness. I haven’t heard this hymn since I was in grade school. It’s a poor adaptation of the Shaker tune and Copeland’s adaptation to it for his “Simple Gifts”.
 
Here I Am, Lord, when sung as a congregational hymn, though I can cope with it when sung by a cantor with congregation responding with the refrain.

All I Ask if You is Forever to Remember Me as Loving You…I can never get the lyrics of this one:

“Deep the joy of being together in one heart,
and for me that’s just where it is.”

“As we make our way through all the joys and pain,
can we sense our younger, truer selves?”

I hope that I don’t sound too cranky with my opinions!

Joe
 
I don’t know the name or if there even is one, but I heard this little gem at a Life Teen event, I hesitate to call it a Mass as there were about 25 kids in the sanctuary praying the words of consecration as the Priest stood in the background talking to one of the Life Teen leaders or manipulators or whatever you call them.

“Jesus is my homie oh yeah oh yeah, Jesus is my homie he stand behind me”

There was more but you get the general drift.

But all was not lost. Apparently this event was a training event for extraordinary ministers as the kids all industriously communed each other as well as everyone else in the Church:thumbsup:

Lets just be thankful that Life Teen has stopped the abuses that plagued it for years and it is now an orthodox group that follows the rules.
 
Well, I like “Bread of Life” (I think that’s the one with “and I will raise you up” line)

I also like We Remember and I like Eagle’s Wings at funerals. I don’t have any problem with One Bread, One Body.

Other than that, though, I can’t say I disagree with anything else on the list.
 
i Am The Lord Of The Dance Said He
Code: 
  And
Morning Has Broken Like The First Morning
 
One Bread, One Body
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At my old Lutheran church, the cantor would sing that during Holy Communion (early morning service). Her low note made it worse… Not to mention the organist who banged on the organ like he was in some rock concert.
 
Anything by A.B. Simpson.

Catholics, you have never heard of him.

The words are absolutely marvelous, but the melodies–:banghead:

Year ago, I remember speaking with a musician friend of mine, trained classically. I told him that we were attending a Christian and Missionary Alliance church, and he said, eyes wide with horror, “Then you have to sing those A.B. Simpson hymns, don’t you? My sympathies!”

Simpson hymns are kind of like Ed Wood Jr. movies–so bad that you can’t ignore them! The melodies are kind of Scottish, with lots of those little sixteenth notes (hops) that are really meant for bagpipes and sword dancers, not singers in pews.

I wish there were a link so you could hear for yourself. But on the other hand, I don’t want to have to confess the sin of making innocent Catholics listen to A.B. Simpson hymns!

Pastor Simpson, I believe you’re in heaven, and I apologize, but I’ll repeat it one more time–your words were great! Here is a link to one of your hymns (words only): biblebelievers.com/simpson-ab_himself.html

There’s also an old hymn (written sometime between 1769-1854) called “Praise the Savior, Ye Who Know Him” with the worst fourth verse imaginable:

Then we shall be where we would be
Then we shall be what we should be
Things that are not now, nor could be
Soon shall be our own.

The melody is in 3/4 time, so try saying it like a waltz. (first beat on Shall and Would, etc.) And it’s lively, not slow.

It’s a good thing Catholics don’t sing this, because my husband and I can’t sing it without rolling in the aisle. In the Pentecostal church, this would be unnoticed, but I think it would be a little distracting in the Catholic Church during Mass.

Just goes to show that just because a hymn is old doesn’t mean it’s good.

And BTW, I love most of the hymns in the OP, especially Gather Us In. It’s just a matter of opinion whether they express the sacred mysteries of the Mass. I think they do, beautifully. JMO, and you’re entitled to yours.
 
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