Non-Catholic Christian boyfriend

[Astria_Lexi]

Hi, I just wanna get your thoughts and opinions about my problem here and I hope you would help me out.

I am a Catholic and I really have a deep personal relationship with God. I have a boyfriend who is a non-Catholic, he is a member of a G12 Church also a son of a Pastor in his church. I can totally say that his faith is ultimately solid with his church and I respect that as much he respects my belief in the Catholic church. I attend and participate mass every Sundays and I seldom go and visit in his church to watch him play the drums during their services. I even sing worship songs with them and sometimes listen to what their pastors say but never take their communion. But don’t get me wrong, I have a strong Catholic faith and I have no intentions of converting whatsoever.

Recently, we’ve been discussing about marriage for quite a while now but we never really talk much with regards to the religion sector so did my research about this matter. I know that it is possible for a Catholic to marry a non-Catholic Christian in church provided that both must agree to raise the children Catholic. Knowing that my boyfriend’s family is a highly respected leaders of their church, I have a feeling that they will not agree with this and they might insist to raise my future children a part of their church. Also, I heard in their church that they must ask permission from their Cell Leader if they want to get married and if the Cell Leader doesn’t like it, there will be no marriage to take in place.

I know it will be very tricky to pull off to maintain a good family. And I know things will be easier if I convert and join his church, but I do not want that to happen. I heard that Catholics converting into protestants will surely be receiving bad luck, and there were many instances and real news that I heard that happened. I think it’s crazy that even though we both believe in the same Christ, there is this thing that keeps us apart.

I really am thankful that God gave me a very good boyfriend and I am really, really, really praying that our relationship will work out. I don’t want to surrender my faith either because of this differences. I’m confused. Please help me.

 

[adawgj]

Have you had a discussion about you and your boyfriends religious views?
Maybe you can find some common ground and differences, How much does he know about the Catholic faith and how much do you know about his faith G12?

 

[Ral91]

As a non Catholic (Im Presbyterian) marrying a Catholic I would just like to point out that your bf/fiancé would NOT have to promise to raise children Catholic, you will have to promise to do all you can to raise them Catholic.

It has taken myself and my fiancé a good few years to discuss everything. We share many of the same views on things (despite religious differences on these matters) such as divorce and contraception. My Christian beliefs permit the use of contraception but my personal choices do not. I am not familiar with the G12 you refer to but I would urge you to make sure that you and your bf agree on these sorts of things beforehand.

With regards to his families opinion, your bf will have to make up his mind on things such as your future children’s religion and if his family don’t like his choice he will have to stand up for himself and his choice-similarly if you agreed to raise children in his faith you would have to do the same.

I do have some experience in mixed relationships. I have recently begun RCIA, not because I will be converting (at least not any time soon) but because we have agreed to raise any children Catholic and the local priest suggested I do this so I can understand Catholicism better. We have received dispensation to marry outside the Catholic Church and whilst it was not hugely difficult it was not easy.

Please discuss things with your bf in detail. My future MIL has thrown many spanner a in the works -something which from your post you’d be worried your future in laws might do- my bf has had to tell her to step back and let him be a grown man!

It is not impossible and if you love the person it is most definitely worth it but just be sure to discuss things thoroughly. Please feel free to message me if you ever need to vent/rant or just ask a question. It can be stressful but in my experience it is worth it!

 

[z_0101]

Please make sure that you go thru the marriage preparation classes.
Part of these classes should be the administration of the “FOCCUS” assessment. Although used a lot mainly by the Catholic Church in the past, the assessment is so successful that many protestant faiths as well as secular-only marriage preparation classes are using this program.

For the Catholic faith, some of the questions asked in this assessment can be disturbing. Many of the questions allow answers that are not part of our core faith/teachings; however, a good leader in the preparation class will point these issues out when they deviate from the norms of the Church and help you two decide if this is a deal breaker (and many of these should be IMHO).

As for the G12 faith/Church:
Please research this “church” before you become more involved with it.

Please go online with the Apologists and discuss this church. This relationship, outside of the fact it’s a mixed faith, cannot be equally compared to a Protestant-Catholic, nor even a Jewish-Catholic, mixed relationships. This would be more along the lines of a Mormon-Catholic relationship. The G12 church was started by Pastor Cesar Castellanos after he received a “vision from God.” His books are widely available for those that wish to source that statement.

The G12 Church has some issues, and many of our protestant brothers and sisters have concerns about the G12 “movement.” Given what I know about their teachings, and the fact that the other “High Churches (read – Lutheran, Methodist, etc…) ” have some misgivings about the G12 Church, I’m very concerned that once you become very serious about your relationship with this young man, whom I’m sure is a good person, you are going to get more pressure to join this church and abandon your Catholic faith - it is part of the G12 teachings.

Please don’t take me wrong, I’m not trying to attack the G12 church, nor any other faith. In fact, I have many family members that are Mormon (not related to the G12 church) , very devout, very good, very holy people and I love them dearly and pray for them as part of my daily prayers. Yet, despite the fact that I love them, their church teachings are very troublesome for me as a Catholic - the G12 bothers me equally so.

 

[VanSensei]

In a Catholic marriage, only the Catholic party has to agree to raise the children Catholic.

z_0101:

The G12 Church has some issues, and many of our protestant brothers and sisters have concerns about the G12 “movement.” Given what I know about their teachings, and the fact that the other “High Churches (read – Lutheran, Methodist, etc…) ” have some misgivings about the G12 Church, I’m very concerned that once you become very serious about your relationship with this young man, whom I’m sure is a good person, you are going to get more pressure to join this church and abandon your Catholic faith - it is part of the G12 teachings.

This would be more along the lines of a Mormon-Catholic relationship.

Is it non-Trinitarian by any chance, like the LDS Church?

 

[Church_Militant]

Astria,
You need to sit down with him and deal with all this upfront.

From what I am seeing, you are setting yourself up for a fall and a great load of hurt.

1. 
   *]If his cell people deny the marriage, what then?
   *]There is no negotiable here. If you are allowed to marry him then he has to understand and agree that your children must be raised as active Catholics. It’s not an option…it’s the only right thing to do.
   *]If his faith community denies the trinity or the deity of Jesus, then you are talking about a non-Christian “cult” and you need to rethink it all.
   
   Now, what are the chances that this guy will even remotely consider serious conversion to the Catholic faith? You don’t mention him going to Mass with you.
   
   If he is unwilling to convert and you don’t think that’s important, then you are not really strong enough to go into this marriage and keep it together.
   
   Please take the time to carefully sit down and read the following excellent talk from John Martignoni. Apologetics for the Masses - Issue #208

 

[z_0101]

In a Catholic marriage, only the Catholic party has to agree to raise the children Catholic.

Is it non-Trinitarian by any chance, like the LDS Church?

Let’s just say that the G12 understanding of the body of Christ is not that held by the Catholic Church and that you should use a search engine and find detailed information.
So I re-itterate: "This would be more along the lines of a Mormon-Catholic relationship. "

In very brief, as I don’t want to hijack the thread:
The base construct is thus:
– Cesar received a personal revelation directly from God as to how to set up this church and was “encouraged by God to share” this vision and not keep it to himself.
– G12 = Government of twelve. This is the bases of the church structure - get your 12 followers and become a leader.
– The church is cell based around a group of 12 disciples. Each of these disciples becomes a leader and are to work at collecting 12 more who will become leaders of their own cells and so forth. There is a chain from the jr. leader to the senior and back all of the way to Cesar, who holds the revelation of God (not the Holy Spirit, Not the leaders of the G12, Cesar and his wife). It is a grave sin to question this vision. It is a grave sin to inquire for details, instead you are to, without question, accept it and the teachings of the Church Elders, Deacons, etc…
– Once you’re in, the first thing they do is get you in to an “Encounter” session, which can be a very emotionally charged event - there are accounts of these on the net. Some of these are questionable so be warned.
– Once in, it is very difficult to “get out” of the “faith.”

There are lot of issues with this church that even the Anti-Catholic movements have started taking issues with it over the model and the teachings.

As I said, the books are out there, and there is a ton of information on the internet - if you have more questions about this faith, please start a new thread.

 

[Kamaduck]

Hi, I just wanna get your thoughts and opinions about my problem here and I hope you would help me out.

I am a Catholic and I really have a deep personal relationship with God. I have a boyfriend who is a non-Catholic, he is a member of a G12 Church also a son of a Pastor in his church. I can totally say that his faith is ultimately solid with his church and I respect that as much he respects my belief in the Catholic church. I attend and participate mass every Sundays and I seldom go and visit in his church to watch him play the drums during their services. I even sing worship songs with them and sometimes listen to what their pastors say but never take their communion. But don’t get me wrong, I have a strong Catholic faith and I have no intentions of converting whatsoever.

Recently, we’ve been discussing about marriage for quite a while now but we never really talk much with regards to the religion sector so did my research about this matter. I know that it is possible for a Catholic to marry a non-Catholic Christian in church provided that both must agree to raise the children Catholic. Knowing that my boyfriend’s family is a highly respected leaders of their church, I have a feeling that they will not agree with this and they might insist to raise my future children a part of their church. Also, I heard in their church that they must ask permission from their Cell Leader if they want to get married and if the Cell Leader doesn’t like it, there will be no marriage to take in place.

I know it will be very tricky to pull off to maintain a good family. And I know things will be easier if I convert and join his church, but I do not want that to happen. I heard that Catholics converting into protestants will surely be receiving bad luck, and there were many instances and real news that I heard that happened. I think it’s crazy that even though we both believe in the same Christ, there is this thing that keeps us apart.

I really am thankful that God gave me a very good boyfriend and I am really, really, really praying that our relationship will work out. I don’t want to surrender my faith either because of this differences. I’m confused. Please help me.

Can I just say that I’m worried about you? I looked it up, and I’m not sure this church even can allow you to be together without converting. The entire point of their faith is to convert as many people as possible. If he is the son of a pastor, I doubt he will be allowed to leave. And if they do allow you to marry, it will probably be because they expect you to convert.

Seriously, these people sound like a questionable Christian group at best, possibly a cult. I think the comparison to mormons is apt. Think about it- you said yourself that you are talking about a model that does not allow adult members of the faith to choose who they marry. It probably keeps adult members of the faith dependant in other ways, too. I’d be careful if I were you.

There is a lot if concern on the internet that these guys are a cult, and cults are not big on personal autonomy. They may not allow your boyfriend to make his own decisions, and this will then bleed over to you if you are married. Please think about whether you want leaders in his church possibly making arbitrary decisions about what you two can and can’t do.

Personally? I would talk to him about all of this first and see what he thinks of your concerns. If he were otherwise the most amazing guy in the entire world, it would probably come down to how controlling the church group was. If they seem normal to you, maybe it will be OK (although deciding who people can and can’t marry isn’t very normal). In any case, I would definitely ask him about how much control the church leaders exercise in the lives of the followers. And be very careful, as you do not want to get sucked into a cult, or otherwise be forced away from your current faith.