Non-catholic Christian husband takes Catholic communion- Seeing help, guidance and prayers, no unconstructive criticism please

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My husband is a non-catholic Christian who attends mass with me and our children every Sunday. He believes in the real presence in the Eucharist. For many years he did not take communion because he knew he was not supposed to as a non-catholic. He began taking communion despite my pleading with him not to. He has made it clear that he does not want to become catholic. He gets upset when I bring it up and I’m afraid he will no longer attend mass if I keep pressing the subject. I pray about how to handle this situation without causing further division in our family. Any advice and prayers would be greatly appreciated.
 
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Leave it with God to sort out.
How can someone who believes in the Real Presence and respectfully receives not eventually become Catholic?

Perhaps simply ensure he follows all the usual “worthiness” conditions Catholics have to.
Confession if he is conscious of grave sin will be an interesting one!
 
Others may not agree with me on a “rules” level, on a marriage level I would suggest to totally support him and perhaps slowly trying to introducing him to other aspects on the Catholic faith. Maybe he will come around. Better to attend and take communion while believing it’s the true body, even in sin, than rejecting the church at all.
 
Did you guys discuss mass attendance before your wedding? What faith tradition does he come from?

This info will make it easier to give advice.

Is there a Catholic man whom your husband respects? Your pastor, another priest, a deacon, a layman?

This sort of conversation may be best left to a “man-to-man” talk.
 
So let me see.
The choice is for you to knowingly let the Eucharist be profaned by your husband, to allow him to break the rules because otherwise he’ll stamp his widdle feet and refuse to go at all. . .

Or to go to the person who should be involved: Your priest. Put the ball in his court where it belongs. HE is the person who should and must tell your husband that he can or cannot receive.

I am curious. “For many years he did not take because he knew he was not supposed to” now suddenly he is, and you asked him not to?

My dear, he is abusing you. I don’t know what else is going on in your marriage and I know this is not your fault in any way, but your husband appears to be using this as a weapon against you personally. No doubt he has high-mindedly convinced himself that he just ‘must’ show you how wrong you are. But the arrogant disregard he shows to something of paramount importance to you, and the childish threats, bode no good.

Go to the priest and tell him your non-Catholic husband after years of respect to the Catholic faith is now not only reneging but is also threatening you with the retaliation of ‘not going to church’ unless he gets to do what he wants. Be sure you tell him this, and that your husband ‘used to’ respect the Church laws and now does not. Let the priest ‘be the priest’.

If the priest’s response ‘makes’ (HA) him refuse to go, it’s not on your head. If he ups the abuse etc., what makes you think he wouldn’t have done so if you kept on kowtowing?

Do the right thing. Talk to the priest.
 
Kind of a “sticky wicket” as the English say. I think talking this over with your priest, even via email is the best idea. You might also consider sharing what the CCC says on it. Let him know he is doing himself more harm than good by doing this.

I understand your fears about the possibility of him no longer wanting to go to Mass if you keep pressing him. If he did stop, would that be better or worse for you? If it would not keep YOU from going to mass, press the point and go without him. That might be the best plan for everyone, especially him. Sitting alone at home might in the long run, break the log jam.

Finally, consider doing a novena for this. That should help things tremendously.
Hope this helps. I will pray for you both.
 
Thank you, everyone, for your responses. This is very helpful to get this off my chest, even if only anonymously. He was raised in the Chuch of Christ. We were married in the Catholic Chruch and our children are Catholic. He believes some of the Catholic beliefs but not all.
In particular, he has a problem with praying to Mary or Saints. Also, he believes that baptism must be by immersion. Unfortunately, when we were married, I was not as committed to the Church as I am now and did not understand the issues we would be facing in the future. We have made a great deal of progress in that we now all go to mass together as a family. I know if I tell our priest or ask anyone else to talk to him about this, it will blow up and destroy all the progress we have made. I do not want to tear our family apart by giving him an ultimatum.
 
Thank you, BlackFriar. This is what I would prefer to do. Pray and leave it up to God. Of course, he does not go to Confession. He is a good Christian man though. He was just raised in a non-denomination chruch and comes from a family of very stubborn men. I believe he is moving toward Catholicism, but “telling on him” would definitely damage our relationship and cause great distress in our family (when I say “family” I mean my husband, me and our 3 children; our extended families do not live nearby so there is no influence there).
 
I probably wouldn’t go to others on it.

It’s helpful to vent about these things, but I’d let him work it out (or not) on his own with your loving influence.

Most men don’t react to sudden conflict (like being denied the Eucharist on-the-spot, in public) in a positive manner.

If he’s defiling the Lord, the Lord is most very capable of punishing him for it. I vote we leave the matter between those two.

Five bucks says he eventually “crosses the Tiber” on his own.
 
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Best to speak to him in his native language - Church of Christ-ese.

CoC comes out of the Stone Campbell movement.

They do believe that baptism is salvific so that is one thing they share with Catholics. They absolutely believe in immersion, and let him know that immersion is one of the valid means of baptism accepted by the Catholic Church.

They also believe that they should receive communion each week, however, they do not believe in transubstantiation. They believe the elements of bread and juice (they don’t use wine but Welch’s) are symbolic. When you say “real presence” those words don’t mean the transubstantiated body and blood under the accidents of bread and wine in his mind, I promise you. Ask him about 1st Corinthians 11 and ask him about those who do not discern the body and blood, who are not disposed who “eat and drink damnation”.

Are you aware of Formed.org? Many parishes offer it to their parishioners for free, but, it costs about the same as NetFlix. You can watch studies like Symbalon or various Sacramental studies together at home.
 
I don’t know a lot about morality and all yet, but if you know he’s doing something this terrible and do nothing about it, won’t God also hold you accountable for it? Since you care more about your supposed “progress” with the man than you do God’s laws, and both of your souls, then why bother about it at all? If y’all’s “feelings” matter more than anything, what’s the point? No respect for you whatsoever.
 
Thank you TheLittleLady. Yes, our parish does offer Formed and I will look into the studies you suggest. We have discussed transsubstantiated body and blood and he is aware of what it means. This is where he differs from CofC. He has not attended a CofC in about 20 yrs and said he would not go back. We will also discuss 1st Corinthians 11, as we do read the bible together. He believes what is written in the bible and no doctrines created afterward, but he is open to discussion. He does not understand why it is okay to take bread (body) or wine (blood), rather than bread and wine, which is what is stated in the Bible. I have tried to explain that Christ is wholly present in each, but I can’t make any progress on that issue.
 
@Blesse, how might he respond to the simple, non-contentious statement: “Ok, you want to receive communion. But are you in communion?”

It’s as simple as that. To answer yes and no is glaringly incongruent and below his dignity.

Just seed his mind with that thought: why he wants to receive communion without wanting to be in communion. I would think that might echo in his mind and go a long way.
 
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Perhaps you have had a rocky marriage…I really scratch my head to see the monstrous evil you infer here?
 
I fail to see what possible bearing your ‘supposition’ about my personal life has to do with the price of potatoes in Ireland. . .
 
Blesse said:
I know if I tell our priest or ask anyone else to talk to him about this, it will blow up and destroy all the progress we have made. I do not want to tear our family apart by giving him an ultimatum.
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Yes, don’t give him an ultimatum. It seems like some of the advice I have read in this thread may be coming from people who don’t know how marriages work. Keep supporting him and keep making progress. Perhaps you can let the priest know in confession what your plan is, but ultimately you know your husband best and what is best for your family.
 
@blesse, perhaps is there something beautiful going on here? I don’t know you or your husband so perhaps something beautiful, or ugly, or somewhere inbetween. Regardless, your husband believes in the real presence, that’s a BIG start. May I ask, has he expressed his reasons for not wanting to become Catholic?
 
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It would be better for his soul to not attend Mass at all, than to attend Mass and receive the Eucharist unworthily, which makes him guilty of a multitude of grave sins - presumption, sacrilege, blasphemy. He is even guilty of the very Body and Blood of Christ if he’s receiving unworthily.

Do not lighten up on him about this. This is as serious as spiritual issues get. We’re talking eternal consequences serious.
 
Very solid, charitable, and Catholic advice.

OP, this is Wisdom - attend to it!
 
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