Non-catholic family members got up to receive communion at funeral

[EqualinHim]

Hi everyone,

As you can tell by looking at my profile, I am not Catholic. I am Protestant. I do, however, have a lot of Catholic friends/family members. This means that I’ve been to mass quite frequently for Easter, funerals, nuptial masses, etc. I know that Catholics practice closed communion due to different doctrinal beliefs when it comes to communion. As a mark of respect to my family members and their church teachings, I have never gotten up to receive communion. About a year ago when my grandmother died, my Mormon cousins got up to receive communion during the mass. This caused a lot of murmuring and gossip afterward. I wanted to get up and ask them to not receive but they were several rows in front of me on a different side of the church, making it extremely impractical for me to do so without causing a scene and interrupting the funeral. My question is, how should I deal with a situation like this if it arises again? Chances are, they might try and receive during another wedding or funeral. They are very different from our other family members when it comes to their religious views. Most of my family members are Catholic or evangelical Protestants but we have one branch that is Mormon.

I also once dated a gentleman whose family was a part of the Armenian Orthodox Church. As a matter of respect, I did not receive communion but instead went up to receive a blessing. The gentleman that I was dating at the time got into a heated argument with me, all because I chose to respect his church’s teachings about closed communion. I love the concept of open communion, which is what I grew up with as a part of the Methodist church, but I will honor and respect the customs of another person’s church that I am visiting.

Also, what bothered me most about the Mormon family members getting up to receive is that they would probably not be allowed to receive in most Protestant churches as well. Many Protestant churches practice open communion that is accessible to any person that is a professing Christian, but many Protestants do not recognize Mormonism as a valid form of Christianity. I agree that Mormons are not Christians due to some of their weird, wacky theology. I was very offended over the fact that people who are basically nonbelievers got up to receive. If they were at my old Methodist church or my current Interdenominational church I would have been just as uncomfortable with them receiving. Although I know it’s impossible to figure out ahead of time whether or not someone should receive, I do confess that I feel called to ensure that the elements are respected and that the worshipers respect the traditions associated with the individual church.

 

[mdgspencer]

Thank you for respecting Catholic beliefs. It is people like you who make the world a better place to live in.

 

[MaryT777]

Thank you for respecting Catholic beliefs. It is people like you who make the world a better place to live in.

I completely agree with this post. Thank you for your respect. Here in my neck of the woods at funerals where the priest is aware that may there (Or weddings) that are not Catholic they usually make an announcement such as:

“Now is the time for Holy Communion for those that are Catholic and able to receive, for those that are not Catholic we invite you up for a special blessing by folding your arms against your chest like t his.” (demonstration)

I think that is a nice thing to do although some do freak out about receiving a blessing at Communion time. I hear it’s a controversial issue in some places the Communion blessing because the priest gives the final blessing of course.

That says here it is very nice here and helps alleviate negative feelings from those that are not Catholic because so many people have "open " Communion now .

Just a thought,

Mary.

PS don’t want to turn this into a discussion of the blessing at Communion time but others can comment on how best to approach the issue noted in the original post. Just wanted to share what’s done here.

 

[angell1]

Hi everyone,

As you can tell by looking at my profile, I am not Catholic. I am Protestant. I do, however, have a lot of Catholic friends/family members. This means that I’ve been to mass quite frequently for Easter, funerals, nuptial masses, etc. I know that Catholics practice closed communion due to different doctrinal beliefs when it comes to communion. As a mark of respect to my family members and their church teachings, I have never gotten up to receive communion. About a year ago when my grandmother died, my Mormon cousins got up to receive communion during the mass. This caused a lot of murmuring and gossip afterward. I wanted to get up and ask them to not receive but they were several rows in front of me on a different side of the church, making it extremely impractical for me to do so without causing a scene and interrupting the funeral. My question is, how should I deal with a situation like this if it arises again? Chances are, they might try and receive during another wedding or funeral. They are very different from our other family members when it comes to their religious views. Most of my family members are Catholic or evangelical Protestants but we have one branch that is Mormon.

I also once dated a gentleman whose family was a part of the Armenian Orthodox Church. As a matter of respect, I did not receive communion but instead went up to receive a blessing. The gentleman that I was dating at the time got into a heated argument with me, all because I chose to respect his church’s teachings about closed communion. I love the concept of open communion, which is what I grew up with as a part of the Methodist church, but I will honor and respect the customs of another person’s church that I am visiting.

Also, what bothered me most about the Mormon family members getting up to receive is that they would probably not be allowed to receive in most Protestant churches as well. Many Protestant churches practice open communion that is accessible to any person that is a professing Christian, but many Protestants do not recognize Mormonism as a valid form of Christianity. I agree that Mormons are not Christians due to some of their weird, wacky theology. I was very offended over the fact that people who are basically nonbelievers got up to receive. If they were at my old Methodist church or my current Interdenominational church I would have been just as uncomfortable with them receiving. Although I know it’s impossible to figure out ahead of time whether or not someone should receive, I do confess that I feel called to ensure that the elements are respected and that the worshipers respect the traditions associated with the individual church.

you are doing the right thing. thank you.

as for others, well, if it wasn’t announced beforehand that non-caohtlics shouldn’t receive, maybe they honestly didn’t know.

you are right, it would have been (name removed by moderator)ractical for you to have tried to stop them at that point in time. if an occasion presents itself, you can explain to them privately before the next event, however, if not, I would just leave it at that.

if they do know and just don’t care enough to respect the rules, well, that’s really on them

 

[ffg]

This happened at my grandma’s funeral. There may have been a little , but focus stayed on the purpose of the day.

 

[Dorothy]

It is most helpful when the priest celebrating the funeral Mass explains to the congregation what to do if they are not Catholic, prior to reception of the Holy Eucharist. Our priest always does that, and it is tactful and understood.

 

[Casilda]

It is most helpful when the priest celebrating the funeral Mass explains to the congregation what to do if they are not Catholic, prior to reception of the Holy Eucharist. Our priest always does that, and it is tactful and understood.

Same as our parish. One thing you could do moving forward is simply bring up this subject before the next family funeral. Share with them what you did here, to respect our different communions. The Presbyterians, Lutherans, Orthodox all have closed communions. Even Catholics have restrictions binding Catholics who can not receive (unconfessed mortal sin, divorced and remarried). A true Christian, whatever denomination would respect that.

 

[poche]

Hi everyone,

As you can tell by looking at my profile, I am not Catholic. I am Protestant. I do, however, have a lot of Catholic friends/family members. This means that I’ve been to mass quite frequently for Easter, funerals, nuptial masses, etc. I know that Catholics practice closed communion due to different doctrinal beliefs when it comes to communion. As a mark of respect to my family members and their church teachings, I have never gotten up to receive communion. About a year ago when my grandmother died, my Mormon cousins got up to receive communion during the mass. This caused a lot of murmuring and gossip afterward. I wanted to get up and ask them to not receive but they were several rows in front of me on a different side of the church, making it extremely impractical for me to do so without causing a scene and interrupting the funeral. My question is, how should I deal with a situation like this if it arises again? Chances are, they might try and receive during another wedding or funeral. They are very different from our other family members when it comes to their religious views. Most of my family members are Catholic or evangelical Protestants but we have one branch that is Mormon.

I also once dated a gentleman whose family was a part of the Armenian Orthodox Church. As a matter of respect, I did not receive communion but instead went up to receive a blessing. The gentleman that I was dating at the time got into a heated argument with me, all because I chose to respect his church’s teachings about closed communion. I love the concept of open communion, which is what I grew up with as a part of the Methodist church, but I will honor and respect the customs of another person’s church that I am visiting.

Also, what bothered me most about the Mormon family members getting up to receive is that they would probably not be allowed to receive in most Protestant churches as well. Many Protestant churches practice open communion that is accessible to any person that is a professing Christian, but many Protestants do not recognize Mormonism as a valid form of Christianity. I agree that Mormons are not Christians due to some of their weird, wacky theology. I was very offended over the fact that people who are basically nonbelievers got up to receive. If they were at my old Methodist church or my current Interdenominational church I would have been just as uncomfortable with them receiving. Although I know it’s impossible to figure out ahead of time whether or not someone should receive, I do confess that I feel called to ensure that the elements are respected and that the worshipers respect the traditions associated with the individual church.

If there is another similar event what might be best would be to explain to your Mormon relatives that they should not go up to receive communion in a Catholic church.

 

[DeniseNY]

It is most helpful when the priest celebrating the funeral Mass explains to the congregation what to do if they are not Catholic, prior to reception of the Holy Eucharist. Our priest always does that, and it is tactful and understood.

I agree, yet I’ve only heard it done a handful of times.

The priest celebrating the funeral of one of my aunts even said that Catholics who are not in a State of Grace should not receive. That’s the only time I’ve heard that.

 

[chris62]

A very nicely written post.
It is probably best announced by an acolyte at the start of the requiem, along with the mobile phone and camera announcements in future.
Maybe the church could make that universal.

 

[JanetF]

It’s really not up to you, the priest should have said something prior to communion. But he may not have realized how many non-catholics were in attendance. They wouldn’t know unless a family member mentioned it.

Same applies at weddings, the couple should tell the priest, “hey we have lots of non-catholic friends, so you might want to say something about communion”.

 

[Kielbasi]

I agree, yet I’ve only heard it done a handful of times.

The priest celebrating the funeral of one of my aunts even said that Catholics who are not in a State of Grace should not receive. That’s the only time I’ve heard that.

That statement is misleading, as it would lead some non-Catholics to see it as an invite.

someone who is Hindu or Pentecostal isn’t a “Catholic who is not in a state of grace”, and those are the only ones being disinvited.

And if someone is not being disinvited, they could see it as in invitation, and disrespectful for them not to approach the altar.

 

[DeniseNY]

That statement is misleading, as it would lead some non-Catholics to see it as an invite.

someone who is Hindu or Pentecostal isn’t a “Catholic who is not in a state of grace”, and those are the only ones being disinvited.

And if someone is not being disinvited, they could see it as in invitation, and disrespectful for them not to approach the altar.

Well, he said it in conjunction with saying non-Catholics shouldn’t approach, so I don’t think it was at al misleading.

 

[DeniseNY]

]He said it in conjunction with saying non-Catholics shouldn’t approach, so it wasn’t at all misleading.

 

[cordova]

As Catholics we believe in the real presence of our Lord in the Eucharist and as such follow the guidance of 1 Corinthians 11: 27-29.

27 So then, whoever eats the bread or drinks the cup of the Lord in an unworthy manner will be guilty of sinning against the body and blood of the Lord. 28 Everyone ought to examine themselves before they eat of the bread and drink from the cup. 29 For those who eat and drink without discerning the body of Christ eat and drink judgment on themselves.

I believe that a better way to handle situations like this is to ask the priest or deacon to make an announcement before communion.