Non catholic family members taking communion?

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CathConvert2013

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At my children’s first communion mass, I was so overjoyed to have many of my family members join us. I was one of 2 practicing adult Catholics out of our party of 7. It’s too late to change what happened, but I can’t keep thinking that my family members don’t care or understand what it means. My sister and I spent almost a full year in RCIA waiting to receive. My children had to receive 2 years of catechesis before they could receive. I can’t help feeling cheated. How can I share the truth without coming off as high and mighty?

The mass was filled with non-Catholics as they didn’t seem to know what to do during the mass. Should the priest ever say something about communion being for Catholics only? He did have a lovely homily that included the children and made a HUGE point about the eucharist truly being Jesus, and I have heard of him turning obvious non-Catholics away from receiving… I guess it wouldn’t have been very Christian of the priest to go all soup nazi on people though.

I will have to mention this and other questions at my next confession.

What happens at your parish when it comes to non-Catholics receiving?
 
At my Church an others I have been to when it is a service that is likely to have more than the normal amount of non Catholics such a Christmas or Easter then Father will usually say something along the lines of “just a reminder that to receive the Eucharist you must be a Catholic in good standing but all are welcome to come up and receive a blessing”
 
When my son was baptized, many of our family members attended, too. What a blessing! I explained to them beforehand, though, that only Catholics can take communion in a Catholic church. I had my husband (a non-Catholic) explain it to his family. None of them had a problem with it, and all said they enjoyed the service.
 
The Catholics in the family should really explain to the non-Catholic members the rules about who is admitted to the Eucharist. The priests, I have found, don’t always want to say anything about it. Next year I am going to put something in the First Communion program about who can receive Communion. Especially after an incident this year that one EMHC who was distributing the Precious Blood told me. A parent came to him to receive and said, “What is this, to wash it down?” He was shocked at what the man said and almost didn’t give him the cup (I think he probably should not have), but he did not want to create a scene.
 
You have experienced a common problem and I really feel that it is up to the priest celebrating the Mass to set the stage for communion. That is what generally happens when services have large numbers of non-Catholics attending, our priest makes a statement before communion. However, that does not stop everyone who should not receive from gong anyway. Some people do not agree with our doctrine and there is nothing short of holding them in the pew that we can do. My SIL is non-Catholic and my BIL is Catholic. They go to Mass one weekend and her church the next. When they go to Mass she goes to communion knowing full well she should not. It is between them and God at that point.
 
At my parish it is gracefully explained what non-Catholics should do with regard to the Eucharist, and why. It is explained that in receiving the Eucharist in a Catholic Church you are agreeing with all that the Catholic Church teaches. This has been done by all the younger priests who have been part of my parish.

I do notice that the older priests do not explain that.
 
When I was received into the church, I had many non-Catholic family members that attended the Vigil Mass with me. I talked to them about not receiving. I made a point of letting them know how important it was to me to be able to receive after all the work and preparation that went into my RCIA classes. I also let each and every one of them know how grateful I was that they went to the Mass with me. I wrote each of them a personal message in a card thanking them for being there.

But here is the point of all of what I just posted…I saw it as my first opportunity to defend the faith. I personally believe we owe it to the faith to defend our church’s belief in the Eucharist. It might not always be a comfortable conversation, especially with family members. But Jesus Christ didn’t shy away from the things that made Him uncomfortable. I don’t think we can shy away either. We are called to make the tough choices. That being said, if we are proactive in our approach, it can take away from the discomfort. I think it is a much harder conversation to have with someone after the fact.
 
Mkb617 said:
At my Church an others I have been to when it is a service that is likely to have more than the normal amount of non Catholics such a Christmas or Easter then Father will usually say something along the lines of “just a reminder that to receive the Eucharist you must be a Catholic in good standing but all are welcome to come up and receive a blessing”
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I have heard this a number of times in both Catholic and Orthodox churches where a large number of non-members were present. Such as weddings, funerals, etc. In Orthodox churches you may hear an expression such as, “You must be an Orthodox Christian and properly disposed …”
 
Took2Long said:
When I was received into the church, I had many non-Catholic family members that attended the Vigil Mass with me. I talked to them about not receiving. I made a point of letting them know how important it was to me to be able to receive after all the work and preparation that went into my RCIA classes. I also let each and every one of them know how grateful I was that they went to the Mass with me. I wrote each of them a personal message in a card thanking them for being there.

But here is the point of all of what I just posted…I saw it as my first opportunity to defend the faith. I personally believe we owe it to the faith to defend our church’s belief in the Eucharist. It might not always be a comfortable conversation, especially with family members. But Jesus Christ didn’t shy away from the things that made Him uncomfortable. I don’t think we can shy away either. We are called to make the tough choices. That being said, if we are proactive in our approach, it can take away from the discomfort. I think it is a much harder conversation to have with someone after the fact.
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Thanks be to God! You did that wonderfully. Those “touch choices” might irritate some people, but when done graciously can plant a seed!
 
My previous pastor would always say:

“As you know, in the Catholic Church, one must be a Catholic in good standing to receive Holy Communion. We continue to pray for a return of all the Christian churches. For today, if you wish, you may approach the altar for a blessing on this happy day. If you would like a blessing ,cross your arms as you approach the altar. Thank you for your understanding.”

I don’t want to get into an argument about whether or not we’re supposed to come up for a blessing, but he did it this way, and never had a complaint. He also used to say before the Liturgy of the Eucharist “Please kneel or sit, according to your custom.”

At the Our Father, he would gradually slow down his speech so that people would not run immediately into the Doxology" and he never had problems.

Likewise, at the Catholic High School, the Chaplain always had a wording in the programs for the Graduation Mass about practicing Catholics only receiving Communion.
But then, some priests don’t mention anything.
Everyone handles it differently.
 
CathConvert2013 said:
At my children’s first communion mass, I was so overjoyed to have many of my family members join us. I was one of 2 practicing adult Catholics out of our party of 7. It’s too late to change what happened, but I can’t keep thinking that my family members don’t care or understand what it means. My sister and I spent almost a full year in RCIA waiting to receive. My children had to receive 2 years of catechesis before they could receive. I can’t help feeling cheated. How can I share the truth without coming off as high and mighty?

The mass was filled with non-Catholics as they didn’t seem to know what to do during the mass. Should the priest ever say something about communion being for Catholics only? He did have a lovely homily that included the children and made a HUGE point about the eucharist truly being Jesus, and I have heard of him turning obvious non-Catholics away from receiving… I guess it wouldn’t have been very Christian of the priest to go all soup nazi on people though.

I will have to mention this and other questions at my next confession.

What happens at your parish when it comes to non-Catholics receiving?
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I love my parish, and when there is a mass that includes non-regualr attendees, such as this with non-catholics or cafeteria catholics etc, our pastor DOES go all ‘soup nazi’- fire and brimstone, hell, and so on…of course he welcomes everyone, but for receiving Jesus, he leaves no stone unturned.
This is a regular parish, with a traditional spin.
No one would DARE disrespect the Eurcharist, after his speech.
 
Thanks all! I sometimes hear them explain who can receive, and that everyone else is welcome to a blessing. I’m not sure Father said it that day. I am positive that my dad who is not Catholic (and dislikes the Church’s teachings and history) received and I know my MIL has received in the past and probably received or attempted reception at the mass for my children. She has been counseled but doesn’t care or understand the differences between her baptist church and the Catholic Church. My mom is lapsed and receives when she goes to mass even though she seems disdainful about the Catholic Church’s teachings. She won’t attend regularly, hasn’t been to confession in years, and won’t consider bringing my nephew to the Catholic Church even though his dad, my brother, is in jail long term and his mother doesn’t care a flip about church. I guess I can’t be the Eucharist police…
 
CathConvert2013 said:
Thanks all! I sometimes hear them explain who can receive, and that everyone else is welcome to a blessing. I’m not sure Father said it that day. I am positive that my dad who is not Catholic (and dislikes the Church’s teachings and history) received and I know my MIL has received in the past and probably received or attempted reception at the mass for my children. She has been counseled but doesn’t care or understand the differences between her baptist church and the Catholic Church. My mom is lapsed and receives when she goes to mass even though she seems disdainful about the Catholic Church’s teachings. She won’t attend regularly, hasn’t been to confession in years, and won’t consider bringing my nephew to the Catholic Church even though his dad, my brother, is in jail long term and his mother doesn’t care a flip about church. I guess I can’t be the Eucharist police…
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True.
But, I might ask them if the Catholic church is not “all that” to them, why bother to receive?
Is it they are embarrassed to stay back? Their consciences must be smarting…:rolleyes:
God bless. Pray for their eyes to be opened.
 
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