Non-Catholic Father and Child Baptism

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fonso2006

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Hello,

My girlfriend and I are expecting a child. She is Catholic and I am not (left the church about 15 years ago). I have no intention of joining the church and am a very active (in politics) atheist. My question is this, both of our families are very devout Catholics and I know they would love for our child to be baptized. Is this possible considering we are not married and I cannot commit to raising out child according to the bible or Catholic tradition (her mother will do this and we will let the child decide when he/she is old enough what they want to be)?

Thank you all!
 
Talk to your priest, but generally if you aren’t willing to raise the child Catholic then the priest won’t perform the baptism. Being unmarried isn’t an impediment but the fact that you want to use baptism to get grandma off your back is kind of a dealbreaker.
 
What about your girlfriend? Is she a practicing Catholic? That would make a difference. A priest might be willing to rely on the grandparents, but it would be much better for the parents to want to raise their child as a Catholic.
 
Canon law (Canon 868):

"1. the parents or at least one of them or the person who legitimately takes their place must consent.

“2. there must be a founded hope that the infant will be brought up in the Catholic Religion; if such hope is altogether lacking, the baptism is to be delayed according to the prescripts of particular law after the parents have been advised about the reason.”
 
Hi, I didn’t clearly state my position. I am not trying to get the grandparents off my back. We already have an understanding and they won’t pester me about it. My gf is a practicing Catholic and will raise the child in her faith while I will raise the child in my non-faith. With that understanding I was just wondering if the child could still be baptized.
 
Hi, the child would be raised in both the Catholic faith and my atheism. Essentially, he/she be shown both her mother’s faith and my non-faith (I will not object to her taking the child to church or teaching him/her about her faith) and we will let the child decide what path it would like to take when it is old enough to make that decision.
 
Thank you.
  1. The mother is a legitimate Catholic so no issue here.
  2. This sounds like it is open to interpretation as to what “founded hope” is as the child will be raised as both a Catholic (by it’s mother) and an atheist (by me).
 
Then I think your best answer is to meet with a priest. If the mother will do her best to raise the child in the faith I think the priest would approve.

Congratulations on the upcoming birth of your child!
 
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Seems to me like this case meets both requirements. But you have to approach the parish priest to be sure.
 
I’d suggest you sit down and read a book

https://www.amazon.com/Born-Believe...qid=1545849915&sr=8-1&keywords=born+believers

Next, do you want to raise a child who is confused and conflicted?

If not, decide now. You will either honor the faith of your family and your girlfriend’s family, the faith of the mother of your child (and your own faith even if you choose not to practice) or you will not.

Children are smart. They won’t buy the “mommy and daddy believe opposite things and they are BOTH right”.
 
Why not let the child be raised Catholic and if like you, they decide to reject it later, then they will. But why not allow them to believe what they believe, just as you have done?
 
You are still a Catholic, you do know that, right? You can call yourself whatever you want, but, as far as the Church is concerned, you’re Catholic. The fact that you say you’re active in politics makes me suspicious about why you had to put the addendum that you’re an atheist.
 
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We could also do the inverse and should the child choose to become a believer later, that would be their choice. I just want to make sure the child has the full spectrum of information readily available to make an informed decision.
 
The inverse meaning no faith and let them discover later on? that seems more like you “win” over the child’s mother. How do you propose to enact this?
 
I do understand that in the eyes of the church I am still Catholic but I did leave the church and am not practicing nor do I wish to practice. I left the church to pursue a career in Baptist ministry and received my degree in theology from a Baptist university. I later realized I no longer believed.

I only state that I am an active atheist to put as much information out there to get the best advice possible. I sincerely want to best advice and wanted to make it clear that the child would have both an atheist and Catholic upbringing. There is no ulterior motive.
 
It might help if you can provide a pair of godparents who would give an undertaking to do everything in their power to ensure that your child is raised as a Catholic.

And … congratulations on your upcoming fatherhood!
 
Hello, I guess what I am getting at is we wouldn’t be saying both of us are right. The child will be taught that I view what I believe is right and his/her mother views what she believes is right. That we believe the other is wrong but that we still love each other and the choice is theirs and theirs alone whether that is atheism, Catholicism or any other faith or lack of faith they choose.

I will have to look into that book and thank you for the suggestion.
 
I am not saying I want to raise the child in the inverse. Just making the point that we could do that as well. You’re correct that should we do that it would essentially be me winning without giving the mother’s view a chance and I do not want that. But doing what you’re suggesting is her winning without giving my views a chance. I don’t want to push the child in either direction. I just want them to have the information available and make a decision when they are ready.
 
Thank you. Should the priest allow this baptism the god parents (Nino and Nina as we call them), would take the responsibility seriously. Her uncle (prospective Nino) is a deacon and aunt (Nina) is an member of the choir and both are devout.

Thank you!
 
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